[Drewby]

I have been developing an idea for a science fiction story for some time now, but am still in the brainstorming process. Here is the general outline of the story:
A towering futuristic city is secretly invaded by a wave of aliens. Posing as humans, these aliens plan to destroy the city from the inside. In a stroke of bad luck, two friends are caught up in the middle of the conspiracy. But these two friends have a powerful ally in their newfound psychical abilities. The battle will push these two friends and their abilities to the very edge.

Feedback is very welcome! Like I said, this is a very general outline, but does this foundation sound good for a story. I am planning on making this one of my longer peices, possibly a novella.

Things I am condsidering:
-The two friends are leaders of a powerful crime syndicate, and stumble upon the aliens while attempting to overrun a bank.
-The aliens have existed in this city for quite a while, abducting and infesting humans to increase their power.
-The friends discover that they have mutated genes, making them more adept to their psychical powers, but they also have developed rare reverse genes, making them more vunerable to each other. This will eventually lead to the friends in a feud in which they will be unleashed upon each other.

These are just a few thoughts running through my head right now. What do you guys think of my general outline and some of the extras that are flowing through my brain?

Thanks for the feedback!

Drew

[estranghero]

Whew, talk about your very general outlines. Now, when I normally do critiques, I do stories but I'll make some comments here.

Basically, write your stories first then have them critiqued because let's face it concepts are dime-a-dozen. I have dozens in my notebooks about one story or another but I consider myself a lazy writer because I havent' really gotten around to writing 'em.

As for your ideas, well, they seem to be interesting though you would need more powerful ideas/ concepts to move this from the above-average to the incredible. For example, the idea of two friends being the leaders of a crime syndicate is okay but you would need a hook to clinch the reader in thnking these characters are interesting. Something like loved one that once tore their friendship apart, or their friendly rivals or heated rivals who respect each other or something like that. Your 3rd concept on the vulnerability issue will link nicely to this.

Remember, anyone can have an idea but it takes a writer to write that story and write it well... http://www.sffworld.com/ubb/wink.gif

Good luck!

P.S. Sorry for the lousy writing. I'm slacking a bit while working so have to get bck to the mines. Them coals need digging...

[This message has been edited by estranghero (edited March 19, 2002).]

[Nathan Carter]

Im sorry, I hope you don't take offense. But all ideas lately seem to pale in comparison to Doc Toxic's(Enazwo's) Retarded Cyborg!

I mean that!

We should all learn from that kind of genious.

[This message has been edited by Nathan Carter (edited March 19, 2002).]

[Drewby]

What is that? Where can I find it? I am always interested in a good read! Also, I am working on fleshing out the universe now, no characters or story yet, so please give me a few ideas if you wish to do so. Thanks in advance!

Drew

[estranghero]

Well, if you want tips on universe-making, go look for JRR Tolkien's "Silmarilion".

Now I know Tolkien is known for his fantasy but the thing about his LoTR ("Lord of the Rings" for those don't read the fantasy forum)is that its universe is very extensive, very detailed because Tolkien was an English (anthro? socio?) professor who professed to creating a world just for the heck of it. The fact is, the LoTR was created to use that world Tolkien made.

In Silmarillion, you have all the basics: the Creation story, the deities and mythology, the different races, how the realms were created, the different languages, etc.

Now, you don't have to go so in-depth like Tolkien did in his writings. However, it should give you an idea of how to create a world.

Also, if you've read the other threads, the trick to creating a world is that you create it... but you don't reveal everything there is you've created. Just enough to get your story going and to make your readers can see that there are no holes in your world. This can be seen in the fact that Tolkien wrote LoTR as a story... but to show how extensive the world he created, he wrote "Silmarillion".

[enazwo]

Well Drewby to answer your question of Nathan Carter.
Doc Toxic's story of a Retarded Cyborg is called "A Pony for Snookie" and is posted here on sffworld.
By the way Nathan, thank you very much. I'm humbled and honored.

[Nathan Carter]

A pleasure Dr. Toxic...
quite seriously, now I'm itching to include a retarded cyborg into one of my stories... but I don't want to rip you off...

[Drewby]

Confusion. That is all that I can say. This story (the retarded cyborg that is) is quite odd, maybe I am just dumb or something, but I am not getting the picture here. Oh well, we all have different tastes!

[Nathan Carter]

You have made a very correct review...

This story... is quite odd

Your certainly not dumb if you can pinpoint that, it was an odd tale indeed. Not suited, I suppose, for everyone. But tasteful in its unsettleing atmosphere, and ornimented with characters that are completely unaffected by its perturbedly twisted ambience.