[Migey]

i have a FABOLOUS book called 'the bride of the anguished enghlish',its all about translations and grammar errors that happened,its GREAT,heres something that someone wrote when advertising a desk

Antique Desk:Old desk suitable for woman with big legs and large drawers

heres another one(a translation)

Free donkey riding!how would you like to ride your own ass?

[Laramie]

HAHA! They made me grin :D

[Jennistar]

Free donkey riding!how would you like to ride your own ass?

I think that one almost killed me :D

Hmm.. I'm in a Jesus-Christ Superstar mood today...let's see...

Heaven On Their Minds - Judas showing his doubts over Jesus's claim as the son of God:

Listen Jesus, do you care for your race?
Don't you see we must keep in our place?
We are occupied!
Have you forgotten how put down we are?
I am frightened by the crowd
For we are getting much too loud...
And they'll crush us if we go too far
If we go too far!

Listen Jesus to the warning I give
Please remember that I want us to live
But it's sad to see our chances weakening with ev'ry hour!
All your followers are blind!
Too much...heaven on their minds...
It was beautiful, but now it's sour
Yes it's all gone sour
Ah --- ah ah ah --- ah
God Jesus, it's all gone sour!

Damned for All Time - Judas betrays Jesus to the government dudes/prophets:

Why are we the prophets?
Why are we the ones?
Who see the sad solution
Know what must be done?
I have no thought at all
Of my own reward
I really didn't come here
Of my own accord
Just! Don't! Say! I'm!
Damned for all time!

The Last Supper - when Jesus confronts Judas:

Judas
You sad pathetic man - see where you've brought us to
Our ideals die around us...all because of you!
But the saddest cut of all -
Someone has to turn you in
Like a common criminal, like a wounded animal!
A jaded mandarin!
A jaded mandarin!
Like a jaded, faded, faded, jaded, jaded mandarin!

Jesus
Get out! They're waiting! Get out! They're waiting!
Ooooooooooh! They're waiting for you!

Judas
Every time I look at you I don't understand
Why you let the things you did get so out of hand
You'd have managed better if you'd had it planned -
Ohhhhhhhh...

Judas' Death - When he finally loses it and kills himself:

Judas
Christ!
I know you can't hear me!
But I only did what you wanted me to...
Christ!
I'd sell out the nation
For I have been saddled
With the murder of you!
I have been spattered
With innocent blood...
I should be dragged
Through the slime and the mud...
I have been spattered
With innocent blood!
I should be dragged
Through the slime and the -
Slime and the -
Slime and the mud!!!!!!!!


And possibly the saddest line in the whole thing...
Jesus: Judas, must you betray me...
With...a...kiss?

It's a great play...the stage-movie they made in 2000 was excellent...Jerome Pradon as Judas is soooo hot :D. I love this musical and I'm not religious at all! 'Tis just fantastic...yes, I am obsessed...:rolleyes:

[Ashe]

Lol! I truly love that musical! :D

[Migey]

guys,prepare to be overwhelmed with these quotes from the awesome book,the bride of anguished english,its a book of quoites and grammatical mistakes

Once,an important guy gave a speech to the prisoners in sing sing prison,he started out like this,'my fellow citizens',but then he realised that convicts are not citizens,so he corrected himself,saying,'my fellow convicts',but then realised that that wasnt right either,but he continued,'umm,anyway,im glad to see so many of you here..'

i love that one XD,heres some other funny ones XD

'tired of cleaning yourself?let us do it!'
'try our cough syrup!you will never get any better!'
'WANTED;young woman to pick fruit and produce at night'

and now a conversation in court...

Lawyer-You signed the death certificate?
Pathologist-Yes
L-Before you signed it,did you take his pulse?
P-no
L-...did you check to see if he was breathing?
P-no
L-did you listen for his heartbeat?
P-no
L-then how did you know he was dead?
P-well i have his brain floating in a jar on my desk,but i guess he could be walking around practising law somewhere

theres lots more funny court convos...

Question-She had three children right?
Answer-yes
Q-how many where boys?
A-none
Q-any girls??

Q-was he like a son to you?
A-yes,he was
Q-and was he like a daughter to your wife?

Q-were do you live?
A-Mexica,texas
Q-and have you lived there all your life?
A-not yet

and heres a great one..

Clerk-Please repeat after me.I swear by almighty god
Witness-i swear by almighty god
C-The the evidence that i give
W-thats right
C-repeat it!
W-repeat it
C-No!repeat what i said!
W-What you said when?
C-that the evidence that i give
W-that the evidence that i give
C-shall be the truth and
W-of course of it will!and nothing but the truth!
C-please...just repeat after me:shall be the truth and
W-im not a scholar you know...
C-we can appreciate that,just repeat after me:shall be the truth and
W-shall be the truth and
C-Say 'nothing'
W-Okay
C-No!dont say nothing,say,'nothing but the truth'
W-of course!
C-cant you say,'nothing but the truth'?
W-of course i can
C-Just say,'nothing but the truth'
W-is that all?
C-yes
W-okay,i understand
C-then say it
W-what?
C-'nothing but the truth'
W-but i will!
C-Please!just repeat these four words after me,'nothing but the truth'
W-What?you mean like now?
C-yes!pelase! just say those four words!
W-nothing but the truth
C-thank you
W-im just not a scholar!

and a famous hotel sign..
'Please feel free to take advantage of the chambermaid'
ahh,the poor,attractive chambermaid

and many more to come XD

[Ashe]

Well, Migey, you're a veritable mine of randomness. :D

Keep up the good work!

[Migey]

liar,im equvilant to 9 veritable mines...

and am i not funny at all,i didnt see a single lol there!!!!(strangles you and cackles with glee)

[kiaga89]

Border Guard: So, how long you've been in Mexico?
Pedro: A week. I mean a day.
Border Guard: Well, which is it? A week or a day?
Pedro: A weekday.


and another:

Arresting Officer: Sir, could I please see your license?
Pedro: Whuut?
Arresting Officer: Your license. Where's your license?
Pedro: It's back there on the bumper, man!
Arresting Officer: No, I mean your DRIVER'S license.
Pedro: Oh yeah, I got it back here man...
[gets license with great difficulty]
Pedro: Hey I thought'a somethin' really funny, man... Your mother!
[laughs]
Arresting Officer: [after dirty look, of course] Sir, what's your name?
Pedro: uuhhh... Isn't in on the license, man? Yeah, that's it! Pedro La Parcas, man, that's my name...
Arresting Officer: [to other Man] Sir, what's your name?
Pedro: Whut? I told you my name, man!
Arresting Officer: [to Man] Sir... what's YOUR name?
Pedro: [to Man] Hey man! The dude wants to know your name, man!
[Man vomits onto the floor of the car]
Pedro: Uuhhh - His name is RAALLLPH, man!

guess what its from and ill give you a cookie :D

[Sirkana]

randomness...:D

[Jezii-Belle]

My favourite Pellinor quote is....

'She had loved Cadvan, and he had loved her, and she realised with an unassuageable bitterness that she had misunderstood that love'

Yeah..
OF COURSE I'M NOT OBSESSIVE ABOUT M+C ^^;
{{ The Riddle, page 222 }}