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Drop of love
February 1st, 2006, 07:50 PM
Have you written any good poems lately? Please share them with us. I'll post my own work later.

Expendable
February 1st, 2006, 10:27 PM
Here's my New Year's Door (http://www.sffworld.com/community/poem/74.html) and Something Fun (http://www.sffworld.com/community/poem/75.html).

gibran
February 2nd, 2006, 12:13 AM
expendable, poems were really cute,i liked new year's door.
here z something that i recently wrote;

The air which cupid exhales,
Holds the vapors of killing dreams;
Left for deprived souls to inhale!
Bringing death to those who breathe
Into their hearts such frozen flames
Of ecstatic agony__the pleasures in pain!
Killing forever the immortal peace
In life and time and so in eternity.

Sid_Fallon
February 2nd, 2006, 05:34 AM
This is the most recent I have. Jan 10th 2006. I'd tell you the driven meaning behind this...but I'm still trying to figure it out. My fingers typed it, I just read along.
-------

X

there were too many eyes to analyze
too many faces to submit to
the dark shroud of an aura
whips around the wind
and she laughs

nothing in the ends
more begins the frame
a soul frightens me in mine
the legion sings in an ear
and she laughs

cry
cry

i'm so sorry i can't love you
the way they frightened you

so completely

onions
February 2nd, 2006, 08:41 AM
Heh.
Well I've said before that I don't do poems. So I'm not sure if this is a poem or not...but it's something I wrote.

My Sister is in Love

No, no more.
I will do it no more.
It is too much to feel,
Too much to carry.
On my shoulders be it not,
Whether you live or die.
And if you knock,
I will not open, no!
I will listen to Mozart,
I will tend my collection
Of beer tabs.
I will not hear your knuckles on the wood.
I will not bate my breath for the rhythm
Of your steps.
My curtains will not twitch
Before the shadow of your coming.
I will not, will not --
Ah! Welcome.
Will you have
Some tea with me?

Drop of love
February 2nd, 2006, 06:08 PM
They'll say that "you're dissabled like a bird with severd wings;
You won't go highe,
Or learn to fly,
Or amount to many things";

This may hurt for quite some time as it begins to sting;
Till they hear the sound,
Down on the ground,
As the bird begins to sing.

But what is more you know some day there will come a time;
They'll gather round,
Down on the ground,
As that bird begins to climb.

copy right feb 2nd 2006 Don't even think about it!

Drop of love
February 2nd, 2006, 06:14 PM
Heh.
Well I've said before that I don't do poems. So I'm not sure if this is a poem or not...but it's something I wrote.

My Sister is in Love

No, no more.
I will do it no more.
It is too much to feel,
Too much to carry.
On my shoulders be it not,
Whether you live or die.
And if you knock,
I will not open, no!
I will listen to Mozart,
I will tend my collection
Of beer tabs.
I will not hear your knuckles on the wood.
I will not bate my breath for the rhythm
Of your steps.
My curtains will not twitch
Before the shadow of your coming.
I will not, will not --
Ah! Welcome.
Will you have
Some tea with me?

That is one of the best free verse poems I've ever read.

gibran
February 2nd, 2006, 11:51 PM
sid,i dont know what is it that u v written bt it sounds an feels good to me,onions, it was cute,drop of love, i find ur poem really good bt the expression could v been a little more poetical,i think ur idea and language do not fit in bt it was good.

Expendable
February 3rd, 2006, 12:41 AM
Gibran, it's a little dark and cynical, very nice.
Sid, you and your fingers need to have a nice cosy chat someplace. Don't invite professional help, unless it's to get a manicure.
Onion, I've heard worse. You may just need a little practice.
Drop, interesting imagery, nice touch of hope.

onions
February 3rd, 2006, 04:24 AM
Thanks a lot. :) This must be the first bit of poetry I've written since...ten years or something. Ex, if you have any suggestions how I could improve it, I'd be grateful. I'm really attached to it and if I can make it better, then that would be a good thing.

Ex, I enjoyed "Something fun". It really was fun. :D
Put me in mind of Nick Cave's "Curse of Millhaven": "So it's Rohrschach and Prozac and everything's groovy..."
I especially liked the bit about the wobbly legs. It added a certain...zaniness. But also emotion.
The other one, I wasn't sure where it was going, both emotionwise and from the action pov. Who are those people coming to party and why? And what does it mean to you? *shrug* Just my own confusion.

Drop, I liked the structure of your poem a lot.
I think your language is fine and perfectly fitting in it's simplicity. Brave little bird! And stupid other birds.