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maserati
March 25th, 2006, 08:46 AM
Are these sentences grammatical? And if not, could you rewrite for me or explain what’s wrong inside? Please:)
That porter is full of deceit! Even a fresh flower would become wilt after her passing-by!
Helen is harshly injured lying inside room number 203 in province hospital; she was mugged last night by 3 youths and after 2 hours being raped by the same gang.
Mr. Tulip used to be a guy of treachery, so I won’t back him up since he has trouble in his penthouse in this outskirt.

choppy
March 25th, 2006, 11:24 AM
You should check out the grammar query thread (sticky at the top of the forum).

Here's my unedumicated two cents.

That porter is full of deceit! I don't really see anything technically wrong with this, but reading it I am left to wonder if "full of deceit" means the porter has been deceived or if the porter commonly deceives others. If the former, I would say:
That porter has been deceived.
If the latter, I would say:
That porter is deceitful.
Also I would need to understand the context to know whether an exclamation point is justified.

Even a fresh flower would become wilt after her passing-by!
This has a few errors. The word "wilt" is a verb, therefore you would want to remove "become" in front of it, or change "wilt" to "wilted" so it becomes a state. I'm not sure about the hyphenation of "passing-by." I think its okay. And again, I would need to appreciate the context in order to justify the exclamation point. Here's how I would write it.
Even a fresh flower would wilt after she passed it by.

Helen is harshly injured lying inside room number 203 in province hospital; she was mugged last night by 3 youths and after 2 hours being raped by the same gang.
- First off, what kind of school is using this kind of a sentence to teach English?
- "province hospital" If this is a proper name it shoule be capitalized. Or do you mean "a provincial hospital?"
- you might want to place an "and" between "injured" and "lying"
- numbers less than ten are usually written out, but this is, I believe more style than grammar
I would rewrite it as:
Helen is harshly injured and lying inside room number 203 in a provincal hospital; she was raped for two hours last night by a gang of three youths and later mugged.

Mr. Tulip used to be a guy of treachery, so I won’t back him up since he has trouble in his penthouse in this outskirt.
- I get lost in this sentence. It's more common to say "a trecherous guy" than "a guy of treachery"
- Everything from "since" on doesn't make sense to me. I would re-write it as:
Mr. Tulip used to be a treacherous guy, so I won’t back him up.