Alex123
April 28th, 2006, 05:03 PM
This is the first page or so of a fantasy novel I'm having a go at.
Never done this kind of thing before but I just love to write stuff and thought this maybe a good project.
Basically, I just wanted to post what will become either the beginning of my First Chapter or maybe the prologue and see what you guys make of it...
Any constructive critisisms and advice is very welcome. Pointers and tips are great because this is my first attempt. Hopefully you have a few encouraging thoughts too :p
Here goes...
Chapter 1
A heavy mist was descending upon the dark, distant mountains of XXXXX. The air was still and the silence only broken by the low humming of lurking night time creatures and insects, crawling hurriedly across the wasteland. A mass of shadow engulfed the land, leaving only a solitary patch of oddly glimmering light illuminating two robed figures.
The shorter of the two, standing on the left, had a high jaw line and very pronounced cheek bones which created an eerie contrast to his eyes, which were sunk back deeply inside his head. His face showed every sign of a man worn down by stress and anxiety. From the fearful looks he was casting at the second figure, to his hunched over stance and crooked physique; fatigue, exhaustion and terror were etched in to his very being, pouring from within him so that he almost had the illusion of emitting a dark glow everywhere around his outline.
The second person's face was nearly completely covered by a slender black hood, except the very tip of a rather long, sharp nose. The remaining visible parts of his body were in a similar mould. Thin stretching legs supported a rather frail looking body. It may just have been his loosely fitted cloak that gave this impression but the mans dropping, bony arms only served to enforce it. The second figure was bent low over his companion, muttering quietly in a fast animated voice, casting nervous glances over his shoulders every now and then. It was clear that he did not believe the two of them to have much time available, or a high level of security either.
The almost soundless exchange continued for several minutes before it suddenly died down. The abrupt end to the conversation was punctuated by two faces set with a conclusive look. Whatever was the focus of discussion that night, had been settled and agreed upon. A solemn handshake ensued before the smaller man took an apprehensive step backwards. Several more twitchy glances followed until he seemed satisfied they were not being watched. Then something very strange happened. A slow pattering sound started to fill the cold night. To begin with, it sounded like light rain fall, but soon built up to a steady hammering like a hundred galloping horses. The inexplicable noise drew attention away from a different, equally odd occurrence. The shimmering light they had both been stood in, had subtly ebbed its way towards the first man and begun to dim very quickly. Rapid flickering of lights, intermingled with the loud thumping noise would have been enough to render anyone watching the proceedings, severely disorientated.
Nothing however, could prepare an onlooker for the view they were submitted to next. The figure basked in the ever decreasing shine, began to fade from sight. Bits of limbs were disappearing, chunks of arms and legs were gone, hair was missing and soon only the torso remained behind. With a rattling explosion the man evaporated into thin air and the surroundings fell back into their peaceful existence as if nothing had disturbed the chilling calm. Maybe the strangest thing after disappearing men, that night, was the lack of reaction or recognition from the lone figure left standing, sullen faced, on the outskirts of a vast and desolate desert. With an understanding sigh and a puff of the cheeks, the robed silhouette of XXXXX turned and walked meaningfully into the distance.
Thanks in advance for any responses. :)
Never done this kind of thing before but I just love to write stuff and thought this maybe a good project.
Basically, I just wanted to post what will become either the beginning of my First Chapter or maybe the prologue and see what you guys make of it...
Any constructive critisisms and advice is very welcome. Pointers and tips are great because this is my first attempt. Hopefully you have a few encouraging thoughts too :p
Here goes...
Chapter 1
A heavy mist was descending upon the dark, distant mountains of XXXXX. The air was still and the silence only broken by the low humming of lurking night time creatures and insects, crawling hurriedly across the wasteland. A mass of shadow engulfed the land, leaving only a solitary patch of oddly glimmering light illuminating two robed figures.
The shorter of the two, standing on the left, had a high jaw line and very pronounced cheek bones which created an eerie contrast to his eyes, which were sunk back deeply inside his head. His face showed every sign of a man worn down by stress and anxiety. From the fearful looks he was casting at the second figure, to his hunched over stance and crooked physique; fatigue, exhaustion and terror were etched in to his very being, pouring from within him so that he almost had the illusion of emitting a dark glow everywhere around his outline.
The second person's face was nearly completely covered by a slender black hood, except the very tip of a rather long, sharp nose. The remaining visible parts of his body were in a similar mould. Thin stretching legs supported a rather frail looking body. It may just have been his loosely fitted cloak that gave this impression but the mans dropping, bony arms only served to enforce it. The second figure was bent low over his companion, muttering quietly in a fast animated voice, casting nervous glances over his shoulders every now and then. It was clear that he did not believe the two of them to have much time available, or a high level of security either.
The almost soundless exchange continued for several minutes before it suddenly died down. The abrupt end to the conversation was punctuated by two faces set with a conclusive look. Whatever was the focus of discussion that night, had been settled and agreed upon. A solemn handshake ensued before the smaller man took an apprehensive step backwards. Several more twitchy glances followed until he seemed satisfied they were not being watched. Then something very strange happened. A slow pattering sound started to fill the cold night. To begin with, it sounded like light rain fall, but soon built up to a steady hammering like a hundred galloping horses. The inexplicable noise drew attention away from a different, equally odd occurrence. The shimmering light they had both been stood in, had subtly ebbed its way towards the first man and begun to dim very quickly. Rapid flickering of lights, intermingled with the loud thumping noise would have been enough to render anyone watching the proceedings, severely disorientated.
Nothing however, could prepare an onlooker for the view they were submitted to next. The figure basked in the ever decreasing shine, began to fade from sight. Bits of limbs were disappearing, chunks of arms and legs were gone, hair was missing and soon only the torso remained behind. With a rattling explosion the man evaporated into thin air and the surroundings fell back into their peaceful existence as if nothing had disturbed the chilling calm. Maybe the strangest thing after disappearing men, that night, was the lack of reaction or recognition from the lone figure left standing, sullen faced, on the outskirts of a vast and desolate desert. With an understanding sigh and a puff of the cheeks, the robed silhouette of XXXXX turned and walked meaningfully into the distance.
Thanks in advance for any responses. :)