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JamesL
August 10th, 2006, 02:48 PM
Hi guys!

Figured it was about time I posted up some material from my latest work in progress, currently titled The Order of Midnight, so I've put up the 2nd draft of the prologue in the story section.
Any critiques/observations/thoughts are very welcome.

Here's the link: http://www.sffworld.com/community/story/1796p0.html

On a side note, I'll be talking and ruminating on my efforts to write this novel in my blog, which can be found at: http://theorderofmidnight.blogspot.com/ Feel free to drop by and check out my little piece of the internet and whatever fantasy/writing related stuff I'm currently rambling about.

Cheers guys. :D

BrianC
August 10th, 2006, 03:18 PM
I posted a comment for you, but I'll say here that it's very good for a first draft.

JamesL
August 10th, 2006, 05:36 PM
Thanks Brian, though I can't seem to find your comment...

It's actually the 2nd draft, though to be honest not much really changed from the first draft save some bits of dialogue and a bit of sentence-shortening.

Glad you liked it. :)

Edit: Found your message Brian! Didn't realise you'd left it on the blog. Cheers for visiting! :cool:

Mock
August 10th, 2006, 06:09 PM
YAAAAAAAAAAAY

*turns off music*











...











:confused:









turns music back on



Edit: lol I love comparing this prologue with that of your Stormcaller one

Dazzlinkat
August 10th, 2006, 06:53 PM
I really enjoyed your prologue. One question, though. At the end he feels another aura, a lifeforce of a friend. Is he casting forth or is his friend? And, especially if the latter, why didn't the Ghalgarith turn back?

JamesL
August 11th, 2006, 04:03 AM
I really enjoyed your prologue.

Thanks! :)


One question, though. At the end he feels another aura, a lifeforce of a friend. Is he casting forth or is his friend? And, especially if the latter, why didn't the Ghalgarith turn back?

The idea here is that as he slips into unconscious, his mind/soul sorta starts to slip out of his body (like when he is casting forth, as you put it) and that as this happens, he discovers the lifeforce of one of his friends nearby.

As for why the Ghalgarith don't sense it...hmm, perhaps I'll edit it so they do. Or perhaps they can only sense the Phaeron using it when they themselves also use it, or some sort of variant. In any case an interesting point, thanks alot for bringing it up! :)



lol I love comparing this prologue with that of your Stormcaller one

Yeah, I adapted the first part of it and hoped no one would notice!

Mock
August 11th, 2006, 09:58 AM
Well, to hell with similarities. Regardless, it is a great beginning. I savored every word of it. ;)

JamesL
August 14th, 2006, 01:16 PM
Well, to hell with similarities. Regardless, it is a great beginning. I savored every word of it. ;)

Thanks Mage-, glad you liked it...I must be doing something right! :D