Critique:The suits.

[Protagonist]

This is a story I'm working on for a while, more will follow on as I go through it but I'd like to know what you guys think of it.
Critism is welcome so go ahead.
Thanks in advance.
http://www.sffworld.com/community/story/2004p0.html

[Dazzlinkat]

Great story! It just drew me right in.


Neither was it the concern that made her muddy green eyes that sparkled even in the darkness waver.


This part was a bit confusing.

Would definately like to read more.