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Wolf_
May 26th, 2007, 11:53 AM
OK, so I was brainstorming ideas down at the local park (where I pick up all my good ideas)for my first story here and I came up with this. Its nowhere near finished, so i am going to need the helping hand of the public.

First off, the pitch. Its the year 3500 (human calender), and humanity is governed over by corporation's roughly the size of a small empire. As is inevitable they all hate each other and constantly compete for resources.the two largest corporations, Nero corp. and Augustus corp. have the strongest dislikes of each other and things boiled over onto a planet the humans named Deposit 160, where plenty of rare resources are found in abundance, and strange new ones the humans have not even encountered.Nero and Augustus Corporations both invaded the planet, but were unaware of one thing-the planets native inhabitants, calling themselves the cephraxic.

the cephraxic were under-equipped to deal with a alien invasion-while the humans had developed weapons that ripped things apart with bright beams of light, cephraxic soldiers had automatic rifles and rocket launchers. The corporations use them as just another resource-towns and cities were attacked, and the populations enslaved, used for either experimentation or mining work. The cephraxic own just a few settlements now, and still fight the corporations.

that's the pitch. Haven't got the story ironed out yet, which needs assistance with, along with other things (charecters, settings etc), so all suggestions are welcome.

Moraven
June 3rd, 2007, 10:44 PM
sounds pretty good to me, far a base anyway. What POV were you thinking of? The standard idea would probably be to write it from the point of a human solider who is sympathetic to the cephraxic...which could be very good (loyalty dilemmas, moral obligations, etc) but would, like i mentioned, be pretty standard. Another fun idea might be to write it entirely from the POV of a cephraxic solider, fighting the evil invasion force. Like the underground resistance of WWII. Then you'd still have options for moral issues (have the humans bribe him to betray his people, offer him money or power or some such thing) but you'd also have a lot of sacrifice and heroism.

Wolf_
June 4th, 2007, 05:25 AM
sounds pretty good to me, far a base anyway. What POV were you thinking of? The standard idea would probably be to write it from the point of a human solider who is sympathetic to the cephraxic...which could be very good (loyalty dilemmas, moral obligations, etc) but would, like i mentioned, be pretty standard. Another fun idea might be to write it entirely from the POV of a cephraxic solider, fighting the evil invasion force. Like the underground resistance of WWII. Then you'd still have options for moral issues (have the humans bribe him to betray his people, offer him money or power or some such thing) but you'd also have a lot of sacrifice and heroism.

now i had toyed around with the idea of using a human,since with every new order theres always the resistance (named the Human Liberation Front,or HLF), and ultimately the cephraxic would be mistrustful/fearful of humans because the humans attacked without provocation (a "what did we ever do to you?" scenario).the human POV was also chosen because it deals with issues of race,and the cephraxic commander (traumatised by the initial human attack) is incredibly genocidal towards humans.

i will of course,give the cephraxic POV a go.

Naicisum
June 4th, 2007, 02:32 PM
at least name the companies Coca Cola and Pepsi,
if you do so I'll surely read your story when it's out :)

Wolf_
June 4th, 2007, 03:39 PM
at least name the companies Coca Cola and Pepsi,
if you do so I'll surely read your story when it's out :)

If I did that, people wouldn't take me seriously.

(joke:) )

goldhawk
December 3rd, 2008, 12:08 PM
I would make the protagonist a Christan missionary dedicated to bring peace to the galaxy. He would arrive with a small band on experienced missionaries but they are all killed early in the story, leaving our na´ve hero on his own. Of course, the cephraxic would distrust him because he was human and he keeps telling them to lay down their arms and let the humans do what they want. Does he remain true to his mission or does he takes sides?

JMlovesHP
May 12th, 2009, 06:05 PM
ok well if you wanted to do a PoV type of thing... why not do both the human and the cephraxic, is it?, it would make for a better story line and give the reader a clear understanding of the thoughts of both ... do you get what I am saying???

zachariah
May 25th, 2009, 03:36 PM
It's been two years...I can't take the suspense! What ever happened to the poor Cephraxians?

fawnfrenzy
August 14th, 2009, 03:52 PM
at least name the companies Coca Cola and Pepsi,
if you do so I'll surely read your story when it's out :)


You need some advertisement thrown in their for you to be drawn in? I would have to agree, more COKE!

N. E. White
August 16th, 2009, 10:37 AM
Well, folks. Since the original post was dated way back on the 26th of May 2007 - 2007! -I would presume the story is all written (at least a draft). So, where is it? I'm curious.