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WritersBlock
June 4th, 2007, 11:55 AM
Like if someone is, African American, or you know, spanish, chinese, etc? I need ways to say it without it being said stupidly.

Holbrook
June 4th, 2007, 01:12 PM
Like if someone is, African American, or you know, spanish, chinese, etc? I need ways to say it without it being said stupidly.

An example;

Clara looked hard at the man for the first time. His hooded eyes sparkled and there was just a wisp of a beard on his firm chin. Though his hair was streaked with grey, Albert had a youthful looking, hazelnut brown face.

WritersBlock
June 4th, 2007, 02:14 PM
An example;

Clara looked hard at the man for the first time. His hooded eyes sparkled and there was just a wisp of a beard on his firm chin. Though his hair was streaked with grey, Albert had a youthful looking, hazelnut brown face.

Thanks. You're such a good writer.

James Carmack
June 4th, 2007, 07:30 PM
Depending on the situation, sometimes you can come right out and say it.

"I didn't know why there was a 300-pound Samoan dude out here Milwaukee. All I knew is that I shouldn't have gotten caught staring at his wife."

The key thing is to keep it consistent with the narrative voice. If your narration is a bit on the flowery side, Holbrook's example would fit in perfectly. If you've got a slack, conversational tone, you might use something like the above. You wouldn't want to mix and (mis)match.

I don't think people will care too much how you do it unless you're grossly offensive about it. Take, for instance, Sir Walter Scott describing some Africans as "blubber-lipped" in Ivanhoe. You'd be getting a visit from Jesse Jackson if you did something like that today.

Holbrook
June 8th, 2007, 12:55 PM
Thanks. You're such a good writer.

Thank you for the kind words, but I consider myself only an average writer, a lot more out there a lot, lot better.

James; Flowery, moi?? Not really, mostly basic English...

James Carmack
June 8th, 2007, 09:22 PM
You're too modest, Holbrooke. There's a distinct flair of the poetic in your example. ^_^

hippokrene
June 14th, 2007, 09:06 PM
Strangely enough, comparing them to food works for me. Milk, almonds, coconuts, chocolate...

Takoren
June 14th, 2007, 09:13 PM
Strangely enough, comparing them to food works for me. Milk, almonds, coconuts, chocolate...

One of my characters, who isn't human but close, is described as having skin the color of a light chocolate. However, my "African" race is described basically as ebony, as follows:


The light faded. The being who had created it was a man, standing in the center of the clearing, breathing in short gasps as he tried to regain his energy. The immense, broad-shouldered form was topped by a nearly completely bald head. His skin was ebony brown, his small beard jet black. He turned to Erik and Randle as his breathing became normal and staggered toward the two of them. Erik held his sword at the ready, but Randle seemed to be nearly overjoyed at the sight of the towering dark man.

“Erik Rhondis,” said the stranger in a voice like the pounding of a bass drum. “You have made an enemy of the Zh’theyen today. That was a very unwise move.”