[Fantasy-Writer]

I'm new to Science Fiction writing, and have been developing several races over the last couple of weeks, but the race I am going to stick with is the one below. May I please point out that this is going to be the good race, which are atatcked by another race infinetly more powerful than them. And yes, there can be magic, but not in large amounts.


The Skralh Empire.
Home planet Skithl
Home system Skethart
Systems owned: 3
Live planets owned: 7
Dead planets owned: 12

Status of other races to them
The Skralh race is one regarded with lots of mixed feelings by other large races, and fierce envy by smaller races. Although they stay separate from all other races, their leader and “god”, Keltar, has been desperately trying to arrange alliances with various races, and to expand his empire.
Appearance
The Skralh are a lizard like race, appearing human until seen close. They have long heads, with flickering tongues. Instead of skin they have scales, of varying colours depending on what part of the Skralh Empire they come from (Main skin colour red).
Interesting facts
The main power supplies of the Skralh are the fire balls that appear every time one of their race dies. These fireballs are then converted into pure energy, which can then be channelled into the weapons that Skralh warriors carry, or more commonly, are used to supply whole worlds with their power. There are rumours that the Skralh scientists are beginning a new project with the life fire of the Skralh; an artificial sun in Skethart, as their sun has begun its death, but is located so far away from their planets that although it may destroy several meteor fields and a couple of uninhabited and boiling worlds, the planets inhabited by the Skralh will be nearly unaffected by the death of their sun if the artificial one is completed in time for its death.
Weaponry
The main weapons that the Skralh carry are swords forged form the strange metal Teral, which only appears in their home system, and is remarkably strong and resilient. Only a couple of Teral blades have ever been known to break, when the Skralh were experimenting with combining supernatural forces, like the night haunting ghosts that stalk the forests of Skithl, with their weapons. These trials proved mostly unsuccessful, as the weapons seemed to shatter if it slew too many people, and although the benefit of the swords which heated up, or which never blunted, were obvious, the weapons were deemed too dangerous to use during actual battles, so were locked away in the vaults of King Rilt, millennia ago. The Fire shooters that they have developed from the life-fire of their people are deadly weapons, capable of shooting for great ranges depending on what settings they are on. Generally, instead of shooting bursts of fire like in a flamethrower, the fire shooters shoot either flaming Teral bullets (capable of ripping through most armours), or a long rope like flame (white hot, can wrap around foes instantly and burn or kill them). Both of these settings of guns are deadly, especially when in the hands of a cold-blooded Skralh shooter (implants are used so that they can see heat, not light to give them an advantage over other, warm blooded, races). Another, deadlier, weapon that the Skralh have developed is the Moon ark. The moon ark is a long scythe, with a blade formed of Teral that has been forged in one of the smithies on one of their industrial moons. The smiths on this moon know exactly how to forge the weapon to make it one of the deadliest that has been forged to date. Along the moon arks long, obsidian haft, there is a control panel that will change the blade’s settings, to settings such as Morningstar, where for some reason lost to history, the weapon’s haft becomes a chain, and the blade a ball imbued with electrical force that can easily slay enemies if wielded by the right user. The way that these deadly weapons, though, were lost during the first attack on Skethart by the now extinct Brel race, though around a thousand of the weapons still exist in the hands of mighty Skralh warriors.
Religion
The Skralh worship their king, whom they regard as their God placed as a form that they will find comprehensible. Because of this fact, their current king’s family has ruled since the dawn of their race, when the whole planet was conquered by his tribe. They also believe that every Skralh has a piece of their God in them, and that the flames that come from their bodies when they die, are part of their Gods huge form (The Skralh king is made purely from “flame”, hence his orange colour). On each planet that the Skralh owns (not dead ones), a kind of pope is appointed to withhold the laws of the Skralh and carry out major religious acts such as the appointing of new Skralh warriors (99.9 per cent need not apply :p), and the blessings of mystical weapons and ships that have extremely high expectancies. In each section of the planets there is a great, dome roofed church that every Skralh can visit whatever the time or day.
Space travel
The Skralh have several ships of different types, each dedicated to different specialities. The biggest battleship in their arsenal is the Python class. It has five guns. It has two acid spewers mounted on the ships sides. On its bottom is a fusion torpedo gun, and on its roof and front are a couple of massive Brutus missiles, each more than enough to destroy a ships shield. The Python class cruiser has a shield made from the solidified life-fire of Skralh warriors, which can withstand most weapons, but not the hulking weapons that huge battleships carry.
The Komodo class ship is mostly used for transporting the rare metal Teral to foreign systems where other races pay huge amounts for the metal which is of great use to them in the making of weaponry for their elite soldiers. The transport ship probably has the strongest shield that the Skralh has ever developed, made from blessed Teral metal and life-fire. The only gun on this ship is a single fusion torpedo, because of the fact that the strength of the shield alone should keep it alive during fights.
The light fighter, or viper class ship, is mounted with 4 guns, all of which are acid spewers. It has a huge engine, which takes up over a fifth of the ships entire size, and is capable of massive speeds, making it harder to hit. For this reason the ship has a puny shield, not really capable of taking shots, as even one minor shot makes the ship very unstable.
The colony class ship of the Skralh is referred to simply as homefinder. The colony ship always travel with at least three Python class ships to protect them, as they are so valuable, that if a race were to destroy it, the whole Skralh race would go into morning for a whole day. These ships are mounted with two Brutus missiles, and are loaded with the best technology that the Skralh have ever made. The colony ship locates planets where Skralh can actually live, and then is packed full of tens of thousands of Skralh, who fly to this planet and set up a colony there, supported by Skralh warriors and their ships. Then, hopefully, the colony will survive, and the Skralh will be able to live on the world and prosper.
Planetary defences
The Skralh own lots of worlds, some of which are defended well, others of which have no real use and are left mostly alone. A favoured tactic of the Skralh is not to have their military forces based on an actual planet, put to put them on a fortified moon of the world. This ensures that the Skralh can easily attack enemy forces if their planet is defended, but also have an escape route to somewhere where they can defend themselves indefinitely. The fortified moons where Skralh warriors live are usually very well prepared for fleet invasion. Hundreds of Brutus missiles lie around it, and hundreds more fusion torpedo’s and poly acid spewers line the roofs of their fortifications. Generally around five thousand warriors man the fortified moon, and over ten thousand civilians and servants, there for protection and if the planet the moon is supposed to defend is destroyed or captured.
Brief History
It is believed that the Skralh were once but measly lizards, eating insects and lazing in the sun. Then a volcano, believed to be mount Santin on Skithl erupted. The lizard race was almost extinct, but around a thousand of the creatures hid in holes or up trees, and were not consumed by the murderous lava. But they were not unaffected, though. Their skins began to change colour, and for some reason they began to evolve. A crawling man, they were first, with lizard legs and arms, with a face of a snake. Then their bodies became strengthened, and they began to walk upright with their lizard legs. After, they split off into two different types of creature; a snake-like one, that slithered along the floor with the arms and the head of a man. And an upright one (modern Skralh, not evolved much further since prehistoric times, save their brain has developed), which was way less numerous than the other species, but the members of it were stronger and their brains more developed.
Quickly this species completely destroyed the other, and was quick to set up shop on the planet by developing weapons made from steel. Then, after a while, a capital city was developed there, and the planets situation advanced to something very much like medieval England. After another after around thirty thousand years, the Skralh arrived pretty much where they are now.
Historic Wars
King Pard was the first king of the Skralh to wage war through space on another race; the now extinct living dead of the Geni Cyngi system. Due to the inexperience of the warriors who invaded these planets from space, the slaughter that they were supposed to act out turned into a slaughter on their selves. Only a single planet fell into the control of the Skralh (Geni prime), but due to the contamination on its surface and centre, Pard declared that the world should be killed, and it was; with a space landing programme long lost to history, but now referred to as The Planet Killer. Due to the loss of so many Skralh lives during this campaign, King Pard declared a grudge upon the living-dead of Geni Cyngi, which was carried out some thousand years later by King Neval the third who destroyed their race, their planets and their sun with Dem- Bombs.
Skithil itself has sometimes had wars waged on it by other cultures, the Skralh always winning these fights, with their advanced technology and heroics.
Until now that is…

[Jamza1986]

I enjoy creating elaborate settings too. The advice I would give though to any sci fi/fantasy author is that though inventing your world or setting is usually the most fun part, writing serious fiction has to begin with characters I think. If I were you, I'd keep your notes there but set them aside for a moment. Think of some great original characters that you can really grow to care about, think of an entertaining plot, and them tailor those elements your chosen sci fi setting.

[Kreschyboy]

It is believed that the Skralh were once but measly lizards, eating insects and lazing in the sun. Then a volcano, believed to be mount Santin on Skithl erupted. The lizard race was almost extinct, but around a thousand of the creatures hid in holes or up trees, and were not consumed by the murderous lava. But they were not unaffected, though. Their skins began to change colour, and for some reason they began to evolve. A crawling man, they were first, with lizard legs and arms, with a face of a snake. Then their bodies became strengthened, and they began to walk upright with their lizard legs. After, they split off into two different types of creature; a snake-like one, that slithered along the floor with the arms and the head of a man. And an upright one (modern Skralh, not evolved much further since prehistoric times, save their brain has developed), which was way less numerous than the other species, but the members of it were stronger and their brains more developed.

Something i read once sticks in my mind when i read this. "When writing science fiction, you'd better know your stuff, cuz your readers sure will"

Study up on Darwin's theory of evolution before you say "for some reason they began to evolve." What is the reason? what was in the volcano? not many elements found in volcanoes are mutagens (things that change DNA and cause mutations) and a change of topography is very unlikely to warrant the growth of human arms and legs. what would be the point? climbing the volcano? Every adaption in evolution survives because it best equips its host for survival.

Not that your background isn't interesting, but it seems that you're going to have to work your butt off to make this logical, and it may just be easier to tell your readers that these creatures exist and that they share common ancestry. Long expository passages in novels quickly turn most readers off and trying to fit in bits and pieces to such a complicated and, i regret to say convoluted, history sporadically throughout your story.

Focus more on current affairs as opposed to a past. And if you do in fact decide to write an extensive history, or just use what you already have, be aware that much of it will never see the light of day in an actual novel. It may however be a helpful tool for you as a writer to have a history.

And, i feel like a jerk adding this, but your prose is atrocious. I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you've never written a novel before. You've got run on sentences, fragments, and comma splices galore. But, fortunately there's an easy way to fix that. Practice. Just write and you'll improve. Take what you have right now, create characters a reader can relate to, an intriguing plot, and a bad guy and just write a story. I guarantee it won't be novel quality, but it's something. Then, put it away. Pull it out in a few months, ask yourself "what kind of crap is this?" and edit it. A lot. You'll see common errors you make and things that just plain don't sound good. you'll see your craft improving dramatically in the next thing you write.

Good luck, and i'm trying to be helpful, not mean.

Kreschyboy

[James Carmack]

You want an enemy for the Lizzies, FW? How about this: the I'Dl B'Dl, a race of sentient mites that burrow under a Lizzy's scales and devour them, absorbing their precious life-fire to fuel their nefarious machinations. They swarm in the millions, nay, billions. Lizzies are reduced to empty skin sacks in seconds. The only way to stop the I'Dl B'Dl is to sterilize the entire planet, hence the dead world in their empire. For decades, the Lizzies have maintained a careful quarantine to rebuff the I'Dl B'Dl menace, but they were betrayed from within and now the I'Dl B'Dl infest the homeworld. Can the Lizzies sacrifice the land of their birth or will they risk dangerous new techniques to counter their tiny foes?

Oh, and extinct living dead... That gives me a chuckle for some reason.

[lin]

I'd say if you are attacked by an enemy infinitely more powerful than you are, your best strategy is bending over and kissing your ass goodbye.


(Just kidding around, here.)

[Kreschyboy]

I don't think he's coming back...

[Fantasy-Writer]

I am... and thanks, I'll take the advice into account. I particulary like the burrowing creatures.

[JunkMonkey]

Then a volcano, believed to be mount Santin on Skithl erupted. The lizard race was almost extinct, but around a thousand of the creatures hid in holes or up trees, and were not consumed by the murderous lava.

It's pretty puny murderous lava that doesn't burn down trees or fill up holes.

[Expendable]

Rare metal and the lifeforce of the Skralhs themselves an incredible power source and convertable into nigh invulnerable shields? Plus an artifical sun of Skralh lifeforce, there for the taking?

Who wouldn't want all that? You've practically signed their death sentence. Other races must be dreaming of overrunning the Skralh and taking everything they have, committing genocide to use the Skralh fully.

Any greedy sentience race is their enemy. You just have to pick one desperate enough to want to take the Skralh out before one of the other races does.

[Willit1016]

I'll address the name of the good race The Skralh Empire. As we have been conditioned when saying "name" Empire usually means that these are the bad guys. I know it is your story and concept but blame Lucas and history for that matter. Galatic Empire=evil, Roman Empire=evil, British empire=evil.

What does all those empires have in common they conquer and made slaves of nations and in the Empire from SW case the whole darn galaxy.