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Critque: Fantasy story


VersusTerminus7
September 11th, 2007, 02:26 AM
I would be honored if someone could read it and give me feed back!!

Plot: Matt, a dark and morbid giant hunter, is about to get the greatest contract of his life: During the hunt, he stumbles across something he did not expect: A female giant named Amelia. Can this red-headed giantess shake Matt of his dark past and quell his thirst for blood? Not if the king can help it!

60ish pages long, 14 chapters.

email me if interested, please!!

-Kyle

James Carmack
September 13th, 2007, 02:16 AM
I hate to say it, my man, but most of us are too busy to be actively fishing for new stories. Put a chapter up in the Stories section and you'll be more likely to get some feedback that way.

Amelia is an awfully dainty name for a giantess.

Matt:[b] ...
[b]Amelia: What's wrong?
Matt: Nothing. I just never expected a village-destroying giant to be so... cute.
Amelia: You're just flattering me.
Matt: No, I'm serious. Now I know I won't be bored for the next 200 pages.
Amelia: C'mon, I can't believe I'm being hit on by the famous Matt the Giant-Killer. But I'm surprised, you're very frank for a trained killer.
Matt: Looks like we both have a lot to learn about each other.

(Okay, I was going from memory, but I wound up looking at the script to get it closer to the original. I wouldn't have allowed the comma splice in Amelia's third line if I wasn't going for a more precise imitation.)

 

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