[Andols]

So here's my idea:

4 men of varying professions, ages and experiences wake up in an enclosed facility. No possible escape routes, cameras aplenty.

After a bit of exploring and chatter, they are presented with a possible means of escape. Teach everything they know to subject who will be sent to them. Their chances of being set free depend on the subjects grasp of and proficiency in their fields.

After some discussion and weighing of options they agree to the terms. The subject is a 6 month old boy.

It would be a near future setting, maybe 50-100 years and have some sci fi elements.

Sound like an interesting and viable story? Am I blatently ripping someone off unknowingly?

[BrianC]

Sounds kind of vaguely like The Cube. 2 questions: What's to stop the 4 guys from working together to figure a way out? and What's the ultimate point (why would anyone go to the trouble of setting up this elaborate situation)?

[Andols]

Sounds kind of vaguely like The Cube. 2 questions: What's to stop the 4 guys from working together to figure a way out? and What's the ultimate point (why would anyone go to the trouble of setting up this elaborate situation)?

I was a fan of the first 2 Cube movies, so it may have influenced me. It won't resemble it much at all as the story will focus more on the relationship aspects and less on the "must get out!".

As to your first question: 1 main cargo door, no windows, a few cameras and some threats should keep them in their place. There might be a few attempts regardless.

In response to your second question: Don't you love a mystery?

[Kreschyboy]

1. you'd better have some REALLY goddamn interesting characters if they're gonna sit in a room for the whole story.
2. Short story or novel?
3. Who is this child, where does he come from, and what does he do with his knowledge? and why?
4. How is the boy tested to see if he really knows EVERYTHING?
5. is the boy a prodigy?
6. What's going on outside the room in the world? Characters need motivation to get out. maybe one's family is in the middle of a battleground for some weirdo futuristic war?
7. Something to shake it up. If you just follow the teaching and the relations in a room, it's gonna get boring.
8. Make their captor human, but mysteriously. Some omniscient being isn't interesting, just scary. If you let him show even small human emotions, you get a reader wondering about him.

-Kreschyboy

[BrianC]

In response to your second question: Don't you love a mystery?There are no mysteries in the writing forum. :p If you want feedback, then you've got to give out the info.

[Andols]

1. you'd better have some REALLY goddamn interesting characters if they're gonna sit in a room for the whole story.
2. Short story or novel?
3. Who is this child, where does he come from, and what does he do with his knowledge? and why?
4. How is the boy tested to see if he really knows EVERYTHING?
5. is the boy a prodigy?
6. What's going on outside the room in the world? Characters need motivation to get out. maybe one's family is in the middle of a battleground for some weirdo futuristic war?
7. Something to shake it up. If you just follow the teaching and the relations in a room, it's gonna get boring.
8. Make their captor human, but mysteriously. Some omniscient being isn't interesting, just scary. If you let him show even small human emotions, you get a reader wondering about him.

-Kreschyboy


1. I'm trying to work on developing characters. It is one of the reasons for this work.
2. It will be a short. If it picks up steam and transforms along the way, who knows.
3. The child is the finest human modern science can build. He will be used as part religious leader, part military leader.
4. He'll be tested against the lives of his teachers. If he fails they die.
5. He certainly has a head start, no?
6. I'll leak information in slowly so they can keep up with the outside world. They will all have good motivation to get out alive.
7. There should be plenty of that. It a 5 room complex, not just one room.
8. Good call. I was thinking along the same lines.

[Andols]

There are no mysteries in the writing forum. :p If you want feedback, then you've got to give out the info.

I figured as much. See above.

[BrianC]

It could be an interesting premise, but of course everything really depends on the execution. Almost any idea can make a good story, or a terrible story.

The lynchpin of this story, however, is going to be the motivation of the captor(s). Why go to all this trouble? Is this method of training really the best/most effective way of achieving the captor's goals? What are these goals, what end is going to justify these means either morally, or from a cost-effectiveness analysis? If the answer to these questions end up being trivial, or just plain lame, then I think the story is going to fizzle. If you can give good answers, then this idea could work, an interesting psychological thriller.

[Andols]

It could be an interesting premise, but of course everything really depends on the execution. Almost any idea can make a good story, or a terrible story.

The lynchpin of this story, however, is going to be the motivation of the captor(s). Why go to all this trouble? Is this method of training really the best/most effective way of achieving the captor's goals? What are these goals, what end is going to justify these means either morally, or from a cost-effectiveness analysis? If the answer to these questions end up being trivial, or just plain lame, then I think the story is going to fizzle. If you can give good answers, then this idea could work, an interesting psychological thriller.

Noted. Thanks for the opinions.

[Expendable]

I've got to agree with BrianC - it doesn't make sense that you'd trap four men in a room just to train one boy. There's really not much incentive for them. Plus someone's going to report these men missing.

They're going to resent being locked up and pass that resentment to the boy. Possibly even subverting his training so he doesn't learn what he was suppose to.

Not to mention the problems you'll have with the one door/one room.

They'll need supplies - food and consumables, office/school, etc. If you don't stock the room up front, then every thime you open that door they'll try to escape. And if you do give them everything they need, they can use those supplies to escape.

Plus what happens if a toilet backs up? If there's a fire? One of them gets sick? Or threatens the boy?

And that's not even counting the harm you'll be doing to the boy. Growing up in a room with four men? Never seeing an open sky or anyone else? Without socialization, it's going to be hard for him to lead. Plus he'll be vulnerable to childhood diseases he's never been exposed to.

Why wouldn't you simply send the boy to a private school or hire tutors normally?