[Ajax12]

I have recently started writing my novel and so far its gone on pretty ok plot wise..but i am unable to move further until i feel perfectly satisfied..thats bad right?
Im stuck at this point now.. hope someone can put this dialouge in another way or improve it.
'no matter . I am Grep' ,said the man. he finished the last line with a mysterious tone. (basically this guy is really important and feels very self-important)
'ok', said mark. (he has no idea who grep is)
(this is where im stuck.. grep is basically taken aback and insulted that he is not recognised so he tries saying the foll line putting more emphasis this time as though mark should have really known him..i dont know how to put it)
' I am GREP' , said grep ...... (need a word or phrase to convey the meaning)

and i could really use some 'at the fingertips' kind of tips at these kind of moments.. when i dont find the right word or sentence... any ideas ( lists etc etc)
thanks you

[James Carmack]

For starters, let's put the punctuation inside the quotation marks, shall we? Don't plead British punctuation rules, because it doesn't fly there either.

As for the dialog tag you've snagged on, you could make it "the man repeated, only this time more forcibly" or any number of variants to that effect. If you talk to the devotees of that one minimalist from that 10 Rules of Writing thread, they'd tell you "he said" is all you need, but they'd use "he said" for any and all dialog tags, even for women (I jest, of course).

And what on earth do you mean by "'at the fingertips' kind of tips"? If you want a word, consult the dictionary. Or the thesaurus. Or both.

[Expendable]

Here's a fingertips tip - description. Empathis. Emotion. Reaction.

Here's Grep, obviously a very arrogant man. What manorisms or gestures does he have? How is he going to respond to this "little man" who inexpicably doesn't know who he is or seems to grasp his obvious importance and high status?

And then there's Mark, encountering a strange man who seems totally full of himself. How would you react meeting Grep?

Just put yourself in both men's shoes and ask yourself how they'd react to the other guy. You might want a mirror but lock the door. It gets embarassing to be caught trying to look down on yourself.

[James Carmack]

Expy, your warning about locking the doors reminds me of an interview with Michael Crichton about Jurassic Park. Apparently his wife thought he had developed epilepsy when he was experimenting with how he wanted the raptors to act (bobbing their heads when they walk and such.)

You should see me try to choreograph fight scenes. Definitely not work-safe behavior. ^o^

[obiwanky]

Also, whose POV are we in. Their thoughts can help us understand what Gerp is saying and how he says it.

[Expendable]

Expy, your warning about locking the doors reminds me of an interview with Michael Crichton about Jurassic Park. Apparently his wife thought he had developed epilepsy when he was experimenting with how he wanted the raptors to act (bobbing their heads when they walk and such.)

You should see me try to choreograph fight scenes. Definitely not work-safe behavior. ^o^

Somehow I think very little of you is work-safe, James. ;)

[Rocket Sheep]

How about:

"No matter." The man stood taller and inflated his chest. "I am Grep."
Mark shrugged. "Okay."
Grep deflated slightly and frowned. "Grrrepp," he said carefully and waited with brows lifted like a school teacher expecting an answer from a naughty child.
"Grrrepp," Mark repeated. "Gotcha. You want fries with that, Grrrepp?"


What is a mysterious tone? I thought people only used those in jest. "Oooooh Spoooooky!"

[James Carmack]

Somehow I think very little of you is work-safe, James. ;)

Don't I know it. It'll be weird being put into an environment where I don't have the excuse of being the weird gaijin. ^_^;

Oh, Ajax, this Grep fellow wouldn't happen to be a Linux user, would he?