[Anthorn]

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Okay so i'm halfway through my book. Chapter 21 to be exact I've posted the first two on this site. And i'm now bringing my main plot into focus and bringing the characters together.

I have Sorrel A whore searching for her daughter on her way to Sorbild

Garrison and Faelii. On the way to Damorkine.

Faircaira is at Damorkine and pregnant.

And the other two characters are still on the Island.

But right now i'm Pffffft i cant be arsed to do this. So i am currently reworking the tale. And one of the main things i am changing are the characters of Anthorn Nikita and Faircaira. This also changes bits in the story

This is what i've got so far.

Faircaira. Is still pregnant but is also leader of a resistance group

Anthorn. Is a boy who was found abandoned in the wreckage of an Airship. He has Orange Iris's which identify him as an End-lord. A man who's wife had died in childbirth with a child takes him in, despite knowing what he is and feeds him a drug which dilutes his eye colour making it seem more natural... (Backstory. Endlords are feared by the Continent and are deemed evil so anyone who has the appearence of one-unusual skin colour like coppery gold. Or orange Iris's must be killed)

What i had planned too for him was it to be revealed that his mother was held prisoner in a breeding factory, by the surviving daughters of the End-Lord Rael. Anthorn was the first child to be born that was close to the percieved End-Lord perfection. But his mother loved him too much and they escaped but then the Airship was struck in a storm and crashed.

He grows to man hood concealed from the outside world. Problem begins when his father leaves for the east, putting him in charge. A group of travellers come to the door of his home: Osidian keep. And he lets them in, because it is a very stormy day. In return the travellers tell him some stories. But after dinner the leader tells him that he wanted to speak with his father, but the boy will have to do. As it turns out the father owes the man a great debt and he has come to claim it. He wants some money and his support for a planned rebellion. Anthorn being slighly dubious tells them he'll try and contact his father. But during the night he is awoke by

Nikita. A girl with ebony coloured skin from Imara. Nikita, is not part of the rebellion willingly. Her family are being forced to help fund them aswell and to insure the families cooperation they've kidnapped Nikita. And to Insure her cooperation they've kidnapped her 2year old daughter.

Nikita forces him to get his things together, threatening him with a knife and rifle. He discovers that everysingle person in the Keep are dead save for them two. It will be revealed that Raels surviving daughters have found Anthorn and are now wanting him back. Though Nikita and Anthorn wont know it for the time being.


And i had the idea of ending the book with Nikita betraying everyone to get her daughter back. And Anthorn being returned to the breeding Factory after being told he was to be reunited with his mother.

[James Carmack]

Anthy, I've been following the development of your story with mild interest for quite some time now, but I have to say, all of what you just said means very little to me. On the first note, it's the simple principle that ideas are cheap and execution is paramount. An idea is made good by its execution (though there are some ideas that are nearly impossible to execute well). The second point is that all this makes plenty of sense for you, being in the thick of things, but for those of us on the sidelines, we have no idea why things couldn't have gone forward as they were, without the need for revamping the plot. Shoot, I'm not even clear on which version of Anthorn and Nikita you're using.

And another thing. You've been berated on this point by others before, but now I feel compelled to say something. Are you every bit as deliberate writing your novel as you are with these posts? A typo here and there is both understandable and natural, but trying to tease the actual meaning out of your text is a chore. It may require a little more time, a little more patience, but try to put a little polish on what you write before you post. I fear it's causing you to miss out on help from people who would otherwise be inclined to offer their thoughts, if only they didn't have to parse through your textual tangles.

Your trivia for the day: The plural of "iris" is either "irises" or "irides".

In closing, the short version of my response to the problem at hand is this: You do whatever it takes to get yourself to the end of the story. Once you've done that, you can go back over with a critical eye to work out any implausibilities, non sequiturs and whatnot.