[titangnome]

This is a short fable-like story about a troll. It was my attempt to capture the psychology of internet troll in a fable. (Other than the inspiration, the story has nothing to do with the internet).

http://www.sffworld.com/community/story/3095p0.html

I have some concern that the pacing is too slow, i.e. the tension lags. As always, any suggestions are helpful.

[SuperFede]

seriously, how did you come from internet to the troll...... i am stuck in figuring that out..... :)

i did like the story very much, it needs a little editting. There are some glitches here and there and something that must have been caught by word auto replace like Scared for Scard.

Other than that it was very nice. Personally i think there is one part that deserves a little more explanation and is near the end when the troll goes into the water. I was a nice read though.

as for the lenght, it may get a little slow, but it didn't bother me as much, you could shorten it by 1/4 the size and be a lot more compact, but then again, it is not an action story, so why the rush.

[titangnome]

I post on spirituality forum that has several trolls. One day when we had stumbled into one of those meta-discussions about discussing things on the internet, the subject of trolling came up. I thought about the term "troll" where it had come from and what psychologically must happen someone's mind who is trolling. Undoubtedly, they think they are innocent or generally good people; also undoubted is the fact that anyone who tries to inflict such negativity on others suffers internally in ways they probably don't comprehend. I just fabilized that struggle and split the two aspects of an internet troll into two creatures (who of course are one). I suspect the lesson I was trying to illustrate is that someone who "trolls" lives in their own hell at a subconcious level, and the tragedy is that they never learn from their behavior.

I think you are right. I can tighten it up a bit.

Thanks for the feedback as always. Still working on tying Devil's Logos together--will post the central thread tension soon--it should make some of the parts make sense.

[Warzoo]

I liked the story, although I couldn't figure out the internet troll thing either (and i'm well aware of what they are, having a lot of experience trying to fight their circular reasoning, convenient memory loss and overall annoying attitude :D). I think that intentional allegory like that should be able to stand on its own, without detailed explanation. One thing I couldn't help but wonder is why the troll didn't have any memory, I know now because you gave a detailed explanation but without it I would have had no idea.

Not sure what you can do about that, but I really think that if you're going make the story about internet trolls then the comparison must be more obvious.

When I read the story, it actually felt more like a retelling of a traditional fairtale. Kind of like the three billy goats story except with a lovable little troll. I really really like the whole fairytale feeling of your story, especially with the troll being a lovable, friendly little guy. The storyline is charming and I liked it, but the ending was very confusing and not satisfying, largely because I didn't understand the allegory.

If I were to do it, I would have just made the troll an annoying, ugly, pittyfull little bugger that would litterally act like an internet troll. Of course, then you lose the main character 'Scard', whom I really like.

Anyway, in short, I like the story but the internet troll thing really confused me which, as a result, made your ending confusing as well. I think the story is actually strong enough to stand on its own, completely without the internet troll thing and with a different ending. (Although I think your orgional idea of comparing internet and fairy tale trolls is a very good one).

Anyway, the story has great potential. I think though that it needs to have a more satisfying ending, I understand what you were working for with the internet troll thing buts its very difficult for a person to figure out on their own. But great idea, I really really like it.


EDIT: Also, I almost forgot. There needs to be some more physical descriptions. What does that friendy little troll named Scard look like? I'm dying to know.