[Hereford Eye]

March Flash Fiction Voting - Thread A

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And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, as already mentioned, it is time to vote.

You may vote on the contest even if you have not entered. Voting closes on March 28th.

Please Note: there are two separate voting threads. Please vote ONCE only in ONE thread.
Thread A is at http://sffworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=22068

Comments/critiques are welcome.

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In thread B:
http://sffworld.com/community/story/3563p0.html, Dorse's Gamble, Tristis Ward
http://www.sffworld.com/community/story/3566p0.html, Captain Hiscock's 27th Wrestling Match, Jonathan Llewellyn
http://www.sffworld.com/community/story/3568p0.html, Champion’s Pride, J.C. Hill
http://www.sffworld.com/community/story/3569p0.html, For Immediate Release, Christopher Alen F.
http://www.sffworld.com/community/story/3571p0.html, Tournament of Dreams, Sean Regan
http://www.sffworld.com/community/story/3586p0.html, The Game, Carin Marais
http://www.sffworld.com/community/story/3552p0.html, Ratings War, Dan Bieger

[Hereford Eye]

As I said in Thread A, I'm not rady to vote yet. Here's why:
Dorse’s Gamble, Tristis Ward: Now this is how you get a title to do some work for you. Lot’s of good ideas, particularly the plot’s hinge. Impressive entry.

Captain Hiscock's 27th Wrestling Match, Jonathan Llewellyn: The part I liked best was the summary removal of the Captain from his chair to be repositioned in the arena complete with the kind of video coverage you get at USA NFL games.

Champion’s Pride, J.C. Hill: Now, here you have a conventional story against an unconventional background. The ending had greater impact for all its ordinariness. Well done!

For Immediate Release, Christopher Alen F.: You, sir, are a rotten bastard! But, oh, yes, you can write and you have a diabolical instinct for the jugular. Definitely a contender for my vote.

Tournament of Dreams, Sean Regan: Very nice concept, very nice punch line, and very nice description. A contender for my vote.

The Game, Carin Marais: On the evidence, recommend you alays go with the first thing that pops into your mind. A classic example of how to do a lot with a little. I love the ending but, more, I love the sevens.

Ratings War, Dan Bieger: A story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. A story has a character or two for whom we can form an attachment, positive or negative. This piece follows none of those rules yet there is still a story there. Or is just a commentary? Okay, I know I won't vote for this one but I thought I'd post my own reaction to it.

[DailyRich]

Dorse's Gamble, Tristis Ward: Some good space-noir-style stuff here, with a good grasp of the narrator's voice throughout.

Captain Hiscock's 27th Wrestling Match, Jonathan Llewellyn: A little too on-the-nose Trek parody that even namedrops Trek towards the end. Clever, but a little obvious.

Champion’s Pride, J.C. Hill: A simple tale of dogged determination winning out even in defeat. Nicely done.

For Immediate Release, Christopher Alen F.: Okay, nitpicks out of the way first -- barring major realignment, the Bears can never play the Giants in the Super Bowl (they're in the same conference), and it's unlikely Giants Stadium would ever host a Super Bowl. Ah, now I feel better. What works about this story is the matter-of-fact way in which it describes something pretty horrible, and I like the way it hints about the suicide league, allowing the reader to fill in whatever horrifying details they wish. That makes it more chilling to me.

Tournament of Dreams, Sean Regan: Beautifully written, and most likely my vote-getter.

The Game, Carin Marais: Echoes of The Seventh Seal, with a nice twist at the end.

Ratings War, Dan Bieger: I sort of see what you were going for, but the responses are all a little too similar to each other to be effective parody or satire. Just didn't work for me, although it's an interesting idea.

[Hereford Eye]

although it's an interesting idea.
Wish it was mine but it is isn't. It came from examining the major news networks on-line stories. All use the AP source and modify to suit their axe.

Time to vote. No more fence riding. Just stepping up to the plate and all the other silly cliches that I can think of. See Thread A.

[Fung Koo]

Dorse's Gamble Tristis Ward

I really liked this one. It's narrated with a subtly foreign yet easy cadence, complete with a host of classic SF tropes. That gives it a real sense of familiarity -- not in that it seems common, but that it seems real. I'm somewhat reminded of Donaldson's Gap series, or the old Origin game, Privateer (which is meant to be high praise -- those are two of my favourite pirate-adventure narratives).

Captain Hiscock's 27th Wrestling Match Jonathan Llewellyn

This one deserves a hearty guffaw. Unfortunately, Trek parodies have been done to death so it's difficult to offer up anything new. Still, I got a good laugh from a few of the jokes :)

Champion’s Pride J.C. Hill

You display a real knack for dialogue, and your characters are strongly realized. I was a bit thrown by the setting though -- at the opening, I thought I was reading something more middle-agey, then I got to the wheeled sword case and thought I had landed somewhere more modern. In the end, I'm not really sure what sort of time we're in. A few scattered details to hint at the setting would go a long way to improving an already-strong entry.

Tournament of Dreams Sean Regan

I can't help but wonder if there's a veiled comment about figure skating in here... The short and long programs, active and passive. The tabulation of the results. (Can you tell the scoring captured my imagination?) Really, really neat idea. I was particularly impressed with the closing of the story, showing that dreams and experience are intricately connected and that training for one's dreams requires experiencing the world and all its wonders. A deeply resonant message, and a very impressive tale. Let's all go walkabout.

The Game Carin Marais

Ah yes, the infinite battle of life and death -- a game of chance. The story was a bit sparse, though. There's the possibility of a suggestion that the game is fixed, but not enough to construct an argument either way. In the end, the scene itself is clear, but the message didn't quite make it across.

Ratings War Dan Bieger

I have a theory going that the free press needs to incorporate a voluntary rating system that indicates "distance from the source" -- basically, for every degree removed, add 1. Thus, the raw data and the message straight from the horse's mouth should get a 0. If I retell the story, paraphrase, or otherwise, I am a 1. If you retell the story that I told, you're a 2. Everything greater than 0 can then be understood as an opinion, spin, or manipulation. A rating of 3+ would indicate pure opinion and conjecture. Then, when we read a news story, we're informed up front the degree of distance applied to secondary information, and we would know when news is news and when news is really editorializing -- meta-news, if you will. This entry illustrates the idea nicely. Factually, all the news clips are the same, but none are equal. What is news, and what's not?

[Fung Koo]

barring major realignment, the Bears can never play the Giants in the Super Bowl (they're in the same conference), and it's unlikely Giants Stadium would ever host a Super Bowl. Ah, now I feel better.

It's the future, man! Anything is possible ;)

Honestly, I just couldn't think of two more appropriate cities than New York and Chicago for the story. The First and Second cities going head-to-head in the Super Bowl -- a clash of old rivals. What better match-up to find itself subverted by the aims of another, darker tournament?

[Hereford Eye]

..the free press needs to incorporate a voluntary rating system...
Expecting integrity from the free press! Now, that, my friend, is science fiction.
Well, more accurately, expecting iintegrity from the commercial press is science fiction. Now, let's go start a debate somewhere on the existence of a free press.

We now return this temporarily hijacked thread to its original purpose.

[Nerro]

Maybe next time the topic should be a little more specific, now we keep on having to compare apples and pears imho. Lot's of lovely writing though!

[MrBF1V3]

Nerro, I disagree, you give creative people as much rope as you can, and see what they come up with. Feel free to suggest, but if you really want to see a more specific topic, you have to win.

Dorse's Gamble
I have to say, pretty well done, a good example of space opera. You did a good job of delivering a sympathetic character, in the dictionary sense of the word. Either because of vivid descriptions, or because I know way too much about that kind of world. There is a lesson there too, if you have the goods anywhere on you, don't pass out.

Captain Hiscock's 27th Wrestling Match
Cute, and a little obnoxious.

Champion's Pride
A very real kind of situation. But I did have a question about a story where men and women (women? Okay, I can deal with that, but) fight with swords for the honor of a Queen, who glances at her watch. The time frame is somewhat ambiguous.

For Immediate Release
Ouch. The situation had my attention from the start. I would have humanized it myself, it reads like a news clipping, which is what you had in mind, but it seems cold that way.

Tournament of Dreams
This is one of the more creative entries. I wasn't really charmed though. Personally wouldn't want to experience someone else's dreams, especially the non-controlled ones. There would be too much baggage there, and I have enough of my own.

The Game
Just a little game, maybe. I guess there is only one way to beat box cars--double sixes. The scene change was jarring, and left we wondering whether that was a dream, or a dice game for someone's soul.

Ratings War
Interesting move, putting your story last in the line up. The news format seemed to be a subtheme this time, not sure why. The differences were notable, though I would say, not quite different enough. For the record, reporting is interpreting, there is no such thing as "factual" news.

Good job all, the votes (mine especially) are a matter of opinion. But that is the criteria we live with, whether professional or not.

B5

[Stark Raven]

Thanks to everyone who has commented on my entry so far. I've been horribly busy playing catch up at work after a week long vacation, so it may take me a few days to read through all the other entries. The ones I've read so far have all been stellar!

To clear up some of the confusion about the setting of Champion's Pride, the story takes place in the strangest world of all. This one. It's based on something that actually happened a few years ago. I'm rather heavily involved in a group that recreates the Middle Ages and Renaissance. We have a system wherein different people get to be "king and queen" for a set period of time. I'm a trained swordsman with the group, as is my wife. We've both served as champions a time or two. In fact, the vacation I just got back from was a re-enactment event with a ton of sword tourneys. Hence my sense of irony regarding this month's theme. They say to write what you know, so I did. :)