[hippokrene]

Thread question:
Do you have sex scenes in your stories? How graphic do you get? How prominently does sexuality figure in your work?

My thoughts:
When I'm not writing pornography, my characters tend to be asexual. Part of this is narrative focus - when you're swinging from roof-top to roof-top fighting criminal scum or smuggling a nanobomb deep into Hive territory, sexuality tends to take a backseat - and part of it is general awkwardness. What if my readers think that because my character enjoys the occasional rimjob, I do? What if random posters on internet fora decide I’m being titillating and gratuitous? What if my mother goes out and reads it?

Stupid? Yes. But still a very real worry.

The thing is though, I like sex. I find how different people feel and express their sexuality is fascinating. I find sex scenes have an inherent drama to them. Emotional Vulnerability + Intense Feelings/Sensations + Interpersonal Relations = Interesting. Sexuality is a big part of who a person is, and sex itself can reveal a great deal about a person and their relationship with another.

On the other hand, I often wonder if spend too much time on sexuality. Inevitably, while my team of elite genetically enhanced commandos is sneaking through the lush southern jungles of the planet Sigma Tau IV with their nanobomb, they’ll rest for the night and I’ll think ‘That commando commander is wandering through dangerous territory. At any moment, he could encounter a Hive unit and be reduced to a mindless husk, and if he fails to plant his nanobomb, the assault squad that drops down in three days will encounter a fully functional and alert base and it will likely be a slaughter. With all that stress and the constant possibility of death, the poor guy should at least be able to rub one out.’

It seems to make sense, but that’s just the path to the dark side. Soon the brash, young communications specialist is confessing his love/giving a blowjob to the veteran heavy weapons operator, and while the mission is a success, the unit is captured and the Hive queen decides to use them as breeding fodder.*

It’s a fine balance, you know?

*exaggerated for effect

[THX]

hahahahaha

Naw, I think sex in science-fiction is great. I can see how in plenty of stories it could get clumsy and awkward, though- especially in a military setting, or on some sort of elite mission. Urinating can be almost as troublesome- I don't know if anyone noticed, but in neither The Da Vinci Code nor Angels and Demons (to my memory) does Robert Langdon ever go for a piss...

As it happens, I'm writing a science fiction story at the moment with quite a lot of sex and discussion about sex in it- but it's a comedy, though, so I think I'm sort of off the hook.

Of course, the trouble with some writers is wanting to write about sex but not altogether knowing that much about it. Suffice it to say I've never written a detailed sex scene before, and that may be a good thing. Sexuality is almost always a dimension to a character, though, and so I think it should be present in some form unless we want to appear unrealistic. And that's fine, so long as we know what we're doing when we make unrealistic characters and situations.

[zachariah]

Reading about sex is just like the real thing. You shouldn't feel forced into it, it should come naturally when the two of you (the reader and the story) are ready for it.

Sometimes it will be clunky and mechanical. Sometimes it will be fantastic. Sometimes you deliberately seek it out - sometimes it's a surprise.

My WIP is in danger of turning into YA fantasy, and I'm very conscious all the time that anything stronger than a quick smooch will break the atmosphere. But at the same time, even if I wanted to write one, a scene of Hard-Core Naughtiness would just not be in keeping with the tone of the book. I have not yet written any sex scenes in previous works - my stories seem to naturally lean that way. While I am comfortable with my own sexuality, I hesitate to put anything more than 12A (or PG-13 for the rest of you) in my writing.

Hippokrene's examples bring to mind the brief scene in the film version of Starship Troopers where the male lead stops to have a quickie during a lull in the action. It's in keeping with the general tone of the piece and, apart from the obligatory boob display, is not gratuitous.

Now, if a similar scene was randomly put in another SF film - Star Wars for instance - it would break the spell. So we have sexual surrogates like Leia's slavegirl bikini instead, and we're all the better for it. By the time we get to Return Of The Jedi, Hans and Leia's relationship has obviously developed to the point where they are lovers, but we don't need a scene showing them banging away at each other in the Falcon's cargo hold.

I would say that graphic depictions of sex (and violence) are never necessary in a story, but they contribute significantly to the feel of a work. There is a fine line between having sex and violence in your story, and showing it in fine detail.

[kmtolan]

If you have two characters in a growing relationship, then sex happens. How long you decide to linger on it, and the audience you are writing for, will chart the course of what kind of scene you are offering.

Sure, I have such episodes in my books, but they are there because such a powerfully intimate occurrence can not be avoided in a good character-based story. I don't steer my characters into an amorous moment - it has to stay within the context of both the story and the character. I also will turn off the lights at the appropriate time as I am not much for SF/Erotica.

Kerry

[Neyska]

Sexual intimacy is a part of adult relationships. That said, there is no need to shove it down a readers throat. You can allow a natural progression to such things if it seems appropriate to the story and the characters (and to the audience if you're writing for a younger set). If you're writing a romance (or erotica), you'd obviously get more involved because the audience will be expecting it. In other adult genres, I think it is necessary to use more finesse. That said, I see no reason not to include it and feel that, in some books, the avoidance is more distracting than if they would allow their characters to progress in that way.

As one friend said, she was reading the Twilight series and got tired of waiting for them to "just have sex already," so stopped reading and found a different series with an adult audience in mind. Be careful of frustrating your readers if you are writing an adult work with any romantic relationship at the core.

[KatG]

Thread question:
Do you have sex scenes in your stories? How graphic do you get? How prominently does sexuality figure in your work?

It's of no use to you what I do in my stories on this issue because I am not you. I mean, if you want tips on writing sex scenes, I can certainly give them as I've edited enough of them, but otherwise, what I do has no effect on what you do.


What if my readers think that because my character enjoys the occasional rimjob, I do?

You mean all your readers are going to think this? That would be rather impressive. Some of your readers may not be able to distinguish between narrative and author, but you can ignore them. Overall it's not usually a problem.

What if random posters on internet fora decide I’m being titillating and gratuitous?

They will, and nothing will happen. No matter what you do in your work, someone on the Internet is going to think you are a bad writer one way or another. Should you be a writer who is highly successful, the number of people who hate your work, think you're a dweeb, and accuse you of crimes such as being too juvenile or having gratuitous sex or taking too long to get out the next installment will be huge. If you want to be a published author, get used to people hating you or your work, would be my advice.

What if my mother goes out and reads it?

Is your mom a SF fan? If so, she's probably encountered sex scenes before. If not, well, you're an adult now (I think? maybe not quite yet?) and she'll have to get used to that idea.

If you are writing a military SF novel, they are very used to sex scenes. They are not going to freak out at a, ahem, rimjob. That being said, you don't have to have sex scenes if you don't want to and they don't work for the story. I would probably find it strange if two soldiers have sex while trying to run for their lives, for instance.

Please, please, please stop trying to apply formulas to things or worrying about having the right formula. You will hurt your brain and it serves no purpose. You are the decider, so you're going to have to decide what's right for you.

[hippokrene]

It's of no use to you what I do in my stories on this issue because I am not you. I mean, if you want tips on writing sex scenes, I can certainly give them as I've edited enough of them, but otherwise, what I do has no effect on what you do.


Kat, if a person asked you 'What's your favorite food?' would you say 'That information is of no use to you because I am not you.'

I am perfectly able to decide what is and is not of use to me. I asked the question not because I'm looking for guidence but because I'm interested in other's thoughts and experiences. If you don't feel like sharing, that's fine, but don't act as though your decision to do so has anything to do with me.


Please, please, please stop trying to apply formulas to things or worrying about having the right formula. You will hurt your brain and it serves no purpose. You are the decider, so you're going to have to decide what's right for you.

I understand you're trying to be helpful, but helping me based on the assumption that I'm an idiot makes it difficult to appreciate your effort.

I know Kat. I know there is no formula to writing. I know how to make decisions. I started this thread because there's one like it on the fantasy forum, and I was interested in hearing how other writers dealt with sexuality in their work.

[Tristis]

I deal with the whole sex issue a lot. Sexuality influences a lot of behaviour here and in the world(s) I write about. It's the kind of influence that makes some characters incredibly dynamic and I definitely would never take it away from them. But it's a question of detail, isn't it? Some stories would get completely derailed by sex scenes, but there's no reason to leave out the concept unless you're (I'm) writing for a specific hear-see-speak-no-evil audience.

For the record, I do not do romance or erotica very well. It seems there are only flawed people who roam my head. Their sex is complicated, messy and often ends badly. It's probably something I should work out with my shrink, but at least for now I know into what genres not to aim my pen (no pun intended).

[KatG]

Apologies. The answer to your question then is, I don't know. I'm not sure how much sexuality is going to play a role in stories I'm trying to do or how graphic it may be because it's not something I plan out, nor is it something that I set limits on or feel I have to pump up. For me, it's just stuff that happens, sometimes, if the story seems to have a need for it and I have a use for it in the story.

How developed a scene it may be depends on what I'm trying to do with the scene. Graphicness is usually related to what sort of world/atmosphere the story is being given. If I'm doing something where I'm being very dark, logically I may have more graphic material.

[tdnewton]

I deftly avoided this by eluding to it as it happened rather than describing the specifics of the sex/scene.

In my next project, however, the sex scene is going to be integral to the plot. Rather than describing the sex, though, I'm going to describe the anguish of the characters (since that's the more important part) as it relates to the act. Vague, I know. Sorry!

I don't mind sex in a story, but a lot of times it's just contrived or perverted due to the nature of the tale. Not much regular, happy-normal sex going on.