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N. E. White
December 8th, 2009, 12:59 PM
I'd like to start a new collaborative story thread, just for fun.

Over in the Writing forum, dandelliondeath started An epic ending (http://www.sffworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=24417) thread. There are some pretty good (and funny) endings over there, check it out and add your own.

Anyway, I posted one that had two characters named Ketchup and Mayonnaise. goldhawk added on to what I had thought was an epic ending, and came up with another character named Mustard.

So, here's the deal: using my epic ending, and goldhawk's add-on, let's create a Love Story. Yes, a good old-fashioned love story. :p

Here are some rough guidelines:
The two lovers are:
Mayonnaise - female, cyborg (but think steam-punk, futuristic cyborg, or just make it up)
Mustard - male, plain old human

Other characters:
Ketchup - male, cyborg (like Mayo, her partner)
Any other condiment (all characters must be named after a condiment)

Setting:
Earth, year 2125, has been at war with alien invaders (let's just make these guys are vaguely humanoid to make things easy) for the past 50 years. Battles occur on the surface of the our planet. Most cities have been destroyed. The human race hangs together by sheer determination, and ingenuity.

Prior to invasion, we figured out how to meld man and machine to create the ultimate solider. Resources are thin, cyborgs, and their makers, have had to improvise.

The aliens just want to get rid of us, and take over the planet.

The Goal:
Somehow, Mayo and Mustard have to get together, and live happily ever after (or something like that). At the moment, that is a bit of a challenge as she and Ketchup just launched themselves at The Beast.

Inspiration for ideas to move this forward:
Monty Python

Okay, here it goes...have fun! :D


Ketchup and Mayonnaise stood on the edge of the precipice. Their cannons aimed at the mechanical beast far below. They each knew they only had one shot to end the war that will end all wars.

"Ready?"

Mayo freed both hands from her cannon's control interface, and extended two steel plated thumbs into the air. "Ready!"

Ketchup snorted at his partner's archaic symbol, and responded in kind. "Lock and load, baby!"

They each plugged into their cannons, aimed at the beast, and initiated the final launch sequence. Their bodies, an amalgamation of titanium reinforced steel and good old-fashioned bio-human, fused into the cannon's atomic payload. They waited as each cannon's timepiece whirled towards the end.

As the seconds ticked by, Mayo had one last fleeting thought before they unleashed hell: I never did say 'I love you'.


Mustard rushed up the hill, breathing heavily. "Wait, wait!" he cried. But he was too late. Both cannons fired simultaneously. As he picked himself up from the aftermath of the blast, a tear ran down his soot-covered face. "Goodbye, my love..."