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Colossus
June 29th, 2002, 01:28 AM
When I get bored I sometimes write down funny definitions (at least they are funny to me) for everyday products or events. For example:
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"Servings per Container"
A unit of measurement derived by manufacturers of food stuff that could only sustain life for transparently thin super models.
"Use as Directed"
A warning manufacturers put on their products to prevent morons who are too stupid to read the warning in the first place from sticking the product where it doesn't belong.
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Why don't you give it a try and see what you can come up with?
Cadfael
June 29th, 2002, 01:49 AM
Originally posted by Colossus
When I get bored I sometimes write down funny definitions (at least they are funny to me) for everyday products or events. For example:
"Use as Directed"
A warning manufacturers put on their products to prevent morons who are too stupid to read the warning in the first place from sticking the product where it doesn't belong.
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Why don't you give it a try and see what you can come up with?
Yep... I agree.. a waste of time...
I got this can of soup... the directions said 'Stand in water and stir'... all I got was wet feet and cold soup....
Colossus
June 29th, 2002, 09:41 PM
Of course we all know that the statement, "Contents may settle during shipment" is actually secret code meaning, "Those dumb consumers will never realize that the packages are getting bigger but the contents are getting smaller." (Of course the price grows with the packaging and not shrinks with the contents.)
Miriamele
June 29th, 2002, 09:50 PM
Yeah, just like they hope you won't notice that the "King Size" Snickers bar is actually the exact same size as the regular ones from about ten years ago. The former "King Size" no longer exists and the regular one now, is more like a taste test.
Everything is a rip-off these days. One other candy which is really bad is M&M's--the big size bag used to be a full half pound, now it's only 230 g! But of course the price is about double.
Sorry if I'm off topic.
Colossus
June 29th, 2002, 10:13 PM
Colossus scratches his head..."Hmmm, let's see, 1/2 pound is 8 ounces, 1 ounce equals 31.1035 grams, 8 times 31...oh forget it"
Damn new fangled metric system...when did they stop measuring everything in bushels anyway?!?! ;)
Miriamele
June 29th, 2002, 10:21 PM
Hmmm...hate to break it to you, but the whole world has been using metric for the past 30 years or so...:)
The M&M's were measured in grams too, but I don't remember the amount, I was just a kid--I only remember that it said "Half-Pounder" on the package, because one time when I went to see a movie (I think it was Robin Hood Prince of Thieves) I ate the entire bag, and let me tell you did I feel sick, and I kept on thinking, God, I ate an entire half pound of pure sugar...never did that again. Maybe the small bags aren't all bad--at least there's portion control. Good for chocolate freaks like me. :D :D
Colossus
June 29th, 2002, 10:26 PM
Did we just experience a flashback to Miriamele's childhood??? I swear I saw the mist appear with the clouded border. ;) ;) ;)
e-Morgana
June 29th, 2002, 10:29 PM
My personal favourite is medication instructions.
Take one tablet 3 times per day.
Does anyone else have trouble attaching the string so you can take it later on?? :rolleyes: ;) :D
Colossus
June 29th, 2002, 10:35 PM
Very good E!!!
By the way I thought you were suppose to wait until it came out the delivery chute and then send it back down!!! :p
e-Morgana
June 29th, 2002, 10:50 PM
I thought you were suppose to wait until it came out the delivery chute
3 times per day!!!
Your loo would be seeing a lot of action. :D :D
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