View Full Version : "A Mother's Affection" is up!
July 13th, 2002, 06:48 PM
My newest story, A Mother's Affection (http://www.sffworld.com/authors/f/fidelle_feacus/fiction/amothersaffection1.html), is now on the site under the author Feacus Fidelle.
It is about 500 words and shouldn't take more than a few seconds to read.
I am asking for anyone who has the time to read my story and give it a rating.
Thank you. :)
P.S.--STRONG WARNING ON GORE AND PROFANITY.
July 13th, 2002, 09:11 PM
This was something a bit different from you, FF: a quick piece of flash fiction with a twist in the tale, a format I like a lot! Though I enjoyed its shortness, I think the story could also be fleshed out to say maybe a 1000 words, where you would have a little more space to build some more tension for the final revelation. But, as it is, it's a very easy to read and surprising little tale. Well done! :)
PS: I added a link above to help people find the story.
July 14th, 2002, 11:21 AM
I read it, rated it, and enjoyed the twist.
Nice and concise, just like your tale
July 14th, 2002, 04:15 PM
Uuuh you sick freak. That was pretty good though, very well written with an interesting twist.
July 14th, 2002, 11:43 PM
Pheacus... I have always said you have talent, and this shows it. I agree it could be 'fleshed' out a bit... but you do have something I respect in a writer... the ability to convey loads of meaning... in a few words.
A four from me, only because I think it is a lttle short... not on imagery... but content.
July 14th, 2002, 11:49 PM
Thanks Cadfael. I honestly didn't realize that having a short story be "too short" could be a problem, but now that I do I'll definitely fix that in stories to come. BTW, my next, next story is going to be the first one I REALLY focus on. The one I'm about the publish about the cakes is just a whim.
July 15th, 2002, 01:21 AM
I enjoyed this, feacus. Concise and gross, a good combination. And contrary to popular opinion, I think it works well at this length. Sure, you could flesh it out and it would still read well, but I also think you could leave it as it is. Because with short stories, open-endings and quick glimpses into an event are perfectly okay (one of my favorite short stories is only a hundred words). But either way, I dug this. Good job.
July 15th, 2002, 01:46 AM
Good job....the first person narrative has always been one of my favorites..works well with this story..coulda been a tad longer..but overall, good job..when I write, I have a tendency to be a little too wordy.
July 16th, 2002, 09:35 AM
I honestly didn't realize that having a short story be "too short" could be a problem
Don't get me wrong... the story is bloody good as it stands... but if fleshed out that would be icing on the cake.
July 16th, 2002, 10:54 AM
I enjoyed the twist ending....
I also applaud how you threw right into it at the beginning of the story. Got the interest right away:) The structure was good, and I've never been able to write a story in 500 words, so much kudos!
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