[Daddy Darth]

Welcome to poll A. Please be so kind as to read all the entries and offer some thoughts, crit or praise. You may vote up to 3 times between the two polls. Voting will end on December 31, 2010 and the next Dungeon Master will be named on January 1 after I have taken some Tylenol! Cheers all and thanks for submitting.

1. Bored of Education - Norman Gray
http://www.sffworld.com/forums/showthread.php?p=613200#post613200

2. The Stakeout - JunkMonkey
http://sffworld.com/forums/showthread.php?p=613950#post613950

3. Unheralded Herkuleans Clash Covertly - txhusker
http://www.sffworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=29497

4. Tinsels Big Break - Squint 181
http://www.sffworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=29503

5. Widows Wage - Daddy Darth (Mike Hazelwood)
http://www.sffworld.com/forums/showthread.php?p=614654#post614654

6. Runs in the Family - Taramoc (Marco Cultrera)
http://www.sffworld.com/forums/showthread.php?p=614945#post614945

7. The Hulk - Fung Koo (Christopher Allen)
http://www.sffworld.com/forums/showthread.php?p=614958#post614958

[zachariah]

Merry Christmas everyone! Remember these are but the ramblings of a random internet yahoo whose opinion carries no more weight than the next guy, although I am slightly more objective than a family member. My criteria for voting are good writing and addressing the contest theme. Full comments on every story are on the way, everybody gets a comment!

It proved to be a big hurdle to follow the theme as laid down by the rules, because flash doesn't really allow more than one main character and the rogue, by definition, is traditionally defined by his relationship to the main character rather than being one himself. So really, we made a load of stories about main characters who have roguish elements, as opposed to genuine rogues who act as a foil to the MC.

Votes are going to The Hulk, because I gotta applaud good writing even if he wilfully obscures the theme; Widow's Wage for a splendid and finely realised space western; and The Legend of the Titanique House for giving us the most lovable rogues (although next time I expect you to give your main characters a few lines of dialogue, or no vote for you!).

[tmso]

Widows Wage - Daddy Darth (Mike Hazelwood)
Runs in the Family - Taramoc (Marco Cultrera)
The Hulk - Fung Koo (Christopher Allen)

I voted for the above. Though they each had their issues, they were the ones that I most liked.

I enjoyed all of 'em, though, and am looking forward to the next batch.

Happy New Year!

[Daddy Darth]

My votes went to Sir Gerwent's Trade by Zach, The Hulk by Fung Koo and Runs in the Family by Taramoc. Tinsel's Big Break and Parralax the Rogue were in the mix but in the end I went for stories that engaged me more on an emotional level with truer Rogue type characters where I know would read a lot more of their tales if available.

Some really solid entries this month. Looks like it could be a an interesting race.

Cheers all!

[norm]

Sir Gerwent's Trade, Parallax The Rogue and The Stakeout we're the stories I enjoyed the most, my votes go to them.

[txshusker]

Lots of good charcters and interesting tales, (albeit my own work was lacking oomph and punch. Even I yawned while reading it). I voted for Sir Gerwent's Trade for it's consistent writing and depth of character, Tinsel's Big Break as the only holiday story, its malcontent elf and Furby shout out, and The Stakeout for a mash up of Buffy in a deerstand.

[Taramoc]

Ops, looks like the polls are already closed, but here are my votes to include in the final tally:

Tinsel's Big Break - just to well thought out to pass it
Parallax the Rogue - very fun overall with nice twist at the end
Widows Wage - I enjoyed it all too much not to give it a vote

Looking forward to the next one!

[Daddy Darth]

D'oh! Looks like I messed up the polls. Sorry folks! But feel free to cast anyway via a post. I will add it to the grand tally tomorrow tomorrow after I have taken some Tylenol.

[Daddy Darth]

Congratulations Zach on a great story and a well earned win. We closed out 2010 with some great stories - cant wait to see what you come up with for 2011.

It has been a pleaure to host you all - thanks for making it a great success!!

Happy New Year all.

[zachariah]

Happy new year everyone, and thank you all for the wonderful comments and votes! Your positions in the New World Order are assured (King of Australia is already taken by Stark Raven, but other posts are available).

Once again, remember these are but the ramblings of a random internet yahoo whose opinion carries no more weight than the next guy. As usual, it was an excellent selection of stories from everyone and very difficult to decide who to give the votes to.

UnHeralded Herkuleans Clash Covertly
by Tx5Hu5k3r

It's a tough one to crit. Your writing is good, clear, and previous entries have been very strong. Too much of the word-count was spent setting up your world before we even got to the story. I really think you're a talented writer but you need to tell us about something that's happening now.

The Stakeout
by JunkMonkey

A really fun story to read. I like your style – economical, punchy but fluid. It's what I aspire to but seldom achieve.

At the beginning the imagery of the virgin maid being used as bait in a meadow convinced me it was a Unicorn-hunting piece, so the vampire in full evening wear was a bit incongruous for an outdoor setting and as an endangered animal (it was gratifying to see the unicorn turn up at the end though!).

However, you did not follow the brief. There is no lovable rogue here. The two men are bungling minions and the woman is a capable hunt-leader working for established authority. We don't see enough of anyone's personality to determine if we like them or not.

(On a different note, I find '****-ing' out words alienates those who hate cuss-words, since they have to say them in their head anyway, and annoys those of us who don't care by making it look censored. ****, or get off the pot!)

Bored of Education
By Norman Gray

The rogue is interesting. He is amusingly ambivalent to those he saves and indifferent to his own part in the story, which I like. I can look the other way to Drake's origins in another story – just this once – because he fits the bill, and this could work even if I'd never read the previous outing (though it would make the scene even more surreal). What really stands in the way of this being an excellent all-round entry is the lack of context for Drake's appearance and a solid reason for choosing Clarence to save over any other deadbeat.

Parallax the Rogue
by Michael Robb Mathias Jr.

Putting 'rogue' in the title, the first - and the last - line is an insult to the readers' intelligence. Give us some credit!

Past that hiccup, this is an interesting tale with a strong non-human character, no mean feat. What's missing is Parallax’s real motivation for his freedom – what makes him different from the other horses? Was he mistreated by his trainer? Was he born wild and yearns to return to the open plains? A generic desire to escape isn't enough of an emotional hook for me. That's a trifling point though, and doesn't detract from a solid story with a good build-up and a satisfying, though open, ending.

Leftovers
by MrBF1v3

I do love a good bit of space scavenging – this is very reminiscent of our introduction to Joshua in the Midnight's Dawn series, one of my favourites. Your execution is excellent as usual.

For the theme, I'm not sure we've really ticked enough boxes. Both of your characters appear to be rogues, as do the off-stage population, in which case nobody really is one. I'm also a little confused to what's going on with the interaction between Timo and Den. Is it a straight con-job with the result that Timo gets 300 credits for sending Den on a wild goose chase? Or has Timo really found the moon and needs to throw Den off the scent?

And how is the Moon going to help as a staging-post for colonising Mars if it's been blasted away to Jupiter or the asteroid belt? What does Den think he and a few mates with tools are going to do with the moon, tow it? Are they ready for the epic multi-month journey to Jupiter's orbit using barely space-worthy craft made from New York scrap? If it was just a con-job, is it really wise to get a rep for lying and cheating in a tiny spaceport where everyone must know everyone's business and life is desperately hard?

Sorry, got carried away with the questions there. In short, I like it but there isn't much in the way of lovable roguery.

The Legend of the Titanique House
by Marshwriter

Overall, a very good entry – I like the period voice. Because the cast and setting are so English, there are a number of Americanisms that struck me as anachronistic – 'newfangled', for instance; calling London a 'hometown' is another; though the real howler is at the end where you use 'pants' instead of 'trousers' (you could argue the Mayor's wife is American, but this doesn't stop it jarring with the tone of the piece).

The Ladies Titanique and Roseton are certainly rogues, even by today's standards, and I'm certain I would find them lovable if I met them, so good work on a divergent but successful take on the theme.

Ace
By Pookiejmk

Exciting and curiously compelling slice of storytelling. A lot of technical bumps for you to iron out which I won't go into detail on here.

Calvin and Vex are more like traditional tough-guy heroes than actual rogues, but I can accept them as such. I find it very difficult to have any sympathy for either of them – you just know they're going to shoot the hell out of a load of people without getting killed themselves.

The Database
by Tony Evans

A mixed bag for me, this one. I like the instantly-familiar characters and the sci-fi version of an old, old scene. The pace is excellent and zips through a variety of locations without confusing.

Repetition, odd word choices and tense mis-matches all crop up throughout the story. The anonymous narrator is too perfect, too unbeatable to be interesting – not once did I worry if he was in the slightest danger. I want my protagonists to suffer, dammit!

Olay and Ulav
by MLSawyer

This has grown on me. Solid writing all through (though you criminally let a 'loose' slip by that should have been a 'lose') and the action is handled almost leisurely, showing a strong insight into the practised way the brothers approach grievous bodily harm.

What pulls this short of being a contest-winning entry for me, is that it doesn't exist in isolation. Even if you hadn't told us it's part of your larger body of work, it's obvious this scene exists as part of a greater story. Sometimes this works for flash, sometimes it doesn't. For me, the parts that raise the brothers into sympathetic characters are missing, leaving me with a good, but unmoving scene of a pair of thugs having a bar-room brawl.

Rogue Rouge
by Hereford Eye

So sweet...Definitely lovable, but not rogues. The intentionally wordy narrative style is well constructed, though I did find it getting in the way of the story at times. Ultimately, if I'm honest I felt a bit cheated to find the whole thing was a set-up for a typo that I don't think you'd actually hear spoken in real life as the two are quite different phonetically (and the phrase 'gone all rouge' doesn't ring true if that's what she meant to say – sorry HE, I just don't buy it! And it goes against the spirit of the theme to ignore it and go for wordplay).

Tinsel’s Big Break
By Ron Faltus

Not much to crit here – very good technically (you do have a 'where' that should have been a 'were' but that wasn't as noticeable as 'fruby', and I don't deduct points for the odd typo even though I love pointing them out like the annoying pedant I am). The protagonist isn't really a rogue in the Han Solo mould, more of a Mad Scientist antagonist who sets up the problem for the hero to solve, and so the story fails on that count.

The story had the feel of a flashback rather than immersing me in the now of the moment. Coupled with the news report-style conclusion, I felt removed from the action. Otherwise, a very solid entry.

Widow's Wage
By Mike Hazelwood

Nice approach to the western genre (Calling your main character 'Zane' was possibly laying it on a bit thick, though!). Very good writing, the characters and scene-setting are all top-notch. You could probably have gotten away without the postscript (or incorporated it into the main scene) but that's just a personal preference. An excellent piece.

Runs in the Family
by Marco Cultrera

Another grower (despite coming in at the last minute). Can't fault the strong writing and it's nice to see at least one person turn the rogue element on its head, though you sacrificed the lovable aspect by making him a self-righteous crusader who sold out his own parents for his idea of 'good'. Without knowing why Caled developed these feelings it's hard to have any empathy with the story.

The Hulk
By Christopher Alen

I love this idea (I thought at first it was going to be along the lines of the Space Hulk game from the Warhammer40K universe, conjuring up many happy hours of dice rolling evenings). I've got the same complaint about the asterisked naughty words as mentioned previously, but it's not a big issue.

Since the ship was designed to be fired into deep space and forgotten, I wonder about the values of any society that would create such a thing instead of just executing the criminals or putting them on an island somewhere. Very cleverly realised atmosphere, tight and claustrophobic with the right amount of cameraderie and animosity one might imagine. Have you spent much time inside, Fung?

The name of the hulk coupled with the clockwork machinery that keeps it going was a nice touch. Another intelligent entry from the house of Fung Koo! Can't really see much of a rogue element, though.