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September 2nd, 2002, 02:08 PM
I was going to put up my plot on a message further down here, but I wanted a direct response to mine:)

My plot is that long ago in another land a powerful dragonking, the most powerful dragon ,had destroyed the land for many years, and was unstoppable.The wizards from
long ago could not kill him,
but could capture him in a weapon for all eternity.
So they tricked Giroth, the dragonking, and stabbed him with the sword they created with magic.
The land was safe again, and the wizards could now release him whenever they wanted, and control him.However only wizards could do this, and only at their tower.
After many years,Serira, another dragon almost as powerful as Giroth, who had been stopped at trying to destroy the land and people by the dragonking, who was controlled by the wizards.So he killed them all, stopping the dragonking from being released ever again.
Now the sword was worthless; at least it was thought worthless.......

Well, I have to get off now, so I'll finish the storyline another time. For now, what do you think of it??

September 2nd, 2002, 04:12 PM
Sounds interesting, I hope you post some of the actual narrative too. From the proferred snippet it sounds like archetypical sword and sorcery fare (which is no bad thing).
You should post the rest of your synopsis though because it's difficult to see exactly where you're going with this just from the background. For instance: Who will be the lead character? What sort of civilisation is this? (although it sounds like fantasy, it could be moulded into sci-fi, or indeed a contemporary piece).

September 3rd, 2002, 01:31 PM
That's part one of the plot. Here's two:

Many, many years later, when Serira is thought dead, the four dragons(the only dragons on the land of Balorn)that live on the bordering mountains and protect their homes while protecting the land from attack beyond Balorn, are captured by some strange being.
However, nothing is stronger than the dragons, meaning the one who captured them is very powerful.
With the dragons gone, Balorn would be open to attack from outer Balorn, a smaller island which is rarely ventured into because of its dangers.The creatures from this island are very powerful and different from what is usually in Balorn, and they are coming over the borders of which the dragons stopped them.
The being who captured the dragons was Serira, not known to anyone in Balorn.He is alive, and is the leader of Gryhir dragons, and he can force the less powerful, normal dragons to do his bidding and destroy the land when he himself gains enough strengh.

Serira cannot be beaten;however, only the sword in which Giroth was sealed in and Giroth himself can beat the dragon leader of Gryhir.

After this has happened, and an invasion starts by the borders, a young elf meets with a wise dwarf, who by destiny came to his small town in search of shelter bearing the useless sword of Giroth.
The two meet, and when the elf, Tillion, takes hold of the sword, he is realized to be chosen.He has the power to release Giroth, and stop Serira.

So the two set off,the young elf realizing his destiny, but not why it is his; long ago, when Tillion was very young, his father, a wizard of the Wizard Tower, was killed by Serira, when the dragon tried to kill all wizards.Tillion was part wizard, part elf, and he only could save Balorn from the dragonleader.He is the last remaining wizard.
The two companions must journey across Balorn and into the outer land of Balorn to reach the Wizard Tower and release the one thing that can destroy their enemy from long ago.......

September 3rd, 2002, 01:38 PM
Oh yeah, this book is completely fantasy, no sci-fi at all.

I was thinking of putting some of my book up here for people to read also, when I get the time.

In this book are of course dragons, and Urai( people that can change into dragons), gnomes, dree(skinny swamp dwelling creatures who are exellent healers),shrivves(shapeshifting creatures) Forest elves, elves, wizards, dwarves, big spiders,Tiri(small lizard people),griffins, griffs,Larnts,minotaurs,gargoyles, Kinspol( big, powerful tree beings that are very territorial), and many,many more.:)

September 3rd, 2002, 03:20 PM

Your idea does have a very large general appeal. The only thing that I would recommended is putting a little more orginal creatures and characters into it. I know that dragons, elfs, etc. are all wonderful and very essential to the fantasy plot but it would make your story much more effective if you intergrated one or two orginal races or peoples into your book. I write mainly science fiction but I love reading fantasy as well. I am always impressed, as a reader, when the writer uses more original thoughts instead of sticking to the basic Lord of the Rings type formula.

This is just a suggestion so please take it for what it's worth. Your plot does have some very strong points and I can see that all ready.

Good luck!


September 3rd, 2002, 10:42 PM
First I would ask what your intention is for this story? Are you writing it with the intention of publication? Or are you writing it as a way to polish your style?

The reason I ask these questions is that if you want publication, then I would suggest that you make a few simple changes, ie change the dragons, dwarves and elves to other creatures.

If this story is just for yourself, then feel free to keep the creatures as they are.

September 4th, 2002, 04:58 AM
I wouldn't go with so many races, and try to keep the number of cliched ones to a minimum, unless you give them a different spin.

September 4th, 2002, 01:11 PM
Actually, my book is FILLED with my own original races and
creatures.The normal, standard ones I mentioned are about all of them.
My creatures all have their own histories, and way of life.They live
in original places of my own.Just a few of my creatures are Meres,miars,shrivves,errits,gerins,lukuas,Iranor,h errans,dree,Urai,marsh snakes,ground worms, dragon worms,Tiri,Larnts,brolocks, and Dark Mages. I don't have the time to list them all:)

I plan to try and publish it, if I can,but though I appreciate
your help,KATS, I probably won't change the main character and such from what their race is.I do know what you mean:):)

Milamber reborn,

Don't worry, not too many elves and dwarves ect. are in my book. In fact, most of
the main characters that join the lead one are other original races I created.

Thanks all, and keep giving me any help
you have:)

September 5th, 2002, 01:06 PM
Oh yeah,

Book 23 of all books I tried to write in; but
I know I'll finish this one.

September 6th, 2002, 01:13 PM
Man, I just can't remember all I want to say:)

I'm at page 263 in it now, and its about halfway through.

I'll add some here for you to read:)