My first posted short story

[Kilroy]

Warning! Shameless Self Promotion Ahead!!

http://www.sffworld.com/authors/a/azure_kalos/fiction/primusfirststrike1.html

Kilroy Was Here

[Kilroy]

Please Review and/or rate it, if you read it. :D

Kilroy Was Here

[enazwo]

Kilroy

I found your story to be entertaining with a action driven pace that made your story a quick read.

For the most part I liked the character Ronin, but to be honest I was lukewarm to the name. I know the meaning of Ronin, which was proliferated quite commerically in the Robert DeNiro movie of the same name.

But that is really a minor detraction, from an otherwise good action sci-fi tale. Your lead character Ronin is developed well enough to understand his cynicism.

Towards the end there's a hint at some kind of ethical growth in Ronin-a nice touch-but I think it would be more effective in a longer tale. I understand this is a short story, but I think a little more insight into the moral transformation of Ronin, would benefit the story.

And finally I really did enjoy the ending. I realize that you want the reader to use their imagination, which is cool, and so I'm pretty sure they blasted the hell out of the Starlans.

Footnote I also like the terminology you have developed for the world your story took place in.l

[Kilroy]

hey man, who said that was the end.
Thank you very much for your review i am quite happy that someone likes my work other than my friends.

[Kilroy]

Back to the top with this little gem, eh?

Kilroy Was Here