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Aik Haw
October 14th, 2002, 05:34 AM
Dear Everyone,
As some of you know, I am embarking on a project to rewrite and recreate some more notable Malay and Chinese myths in the form of a story poem in English. This is my first attempt in writing one so I would appreciate any feedback you can provide. Thank you.

Story is at:- http://www.sffworld.com/authors/h/haw_aik/poems/proofofinnocence.html

To Asian readers as a disclaimer,
This story poem some of you will note is based on the Malay legend/history of Mahsuri which took place somewhere in the 1700s during the height of the Siam/Kedah war. Some of you will also note that I did not strictly follow the 14 known variants of the legend. To the descendants of Mahsuri or Deraman, I confess that I exercised artistic divergence to the following scenes:-

(1) Mahsuri walking to the chieftain's house and calling out the pact of innocence. I am aware that legend tells how she was dragged to punishment and how Deraman fled in fear instead.

(2) The conversation prior to the execution. I confess to placing her husband at the scene when he only arrived after the execution following his denouncement of her and his order that she be punished.

(3) I left out the magic kris which was the only weapon that could have harmed her and instead made her choose to be harmed to prove her innocence.

(4) That Mahsuri and her husband were only married for days before separation, when in fact they were married for years.

(5) That Mahsuri was a savant and teacher for the people of the island, when she was more "the girl next door" who would offer the occasional helping hand.

Aik Haw
October 15th, 2002, 04:39 AM
Any comments?