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Holbrook
November 10th, 2002, 03:43 PM
For about a year now I have lived with a character in my head. He comes and goes, flitting in and out of my imagination.


Often it is as if he is actually with me in the room, so strong is his presense.

I find myself thinking on what he would say and do in certain circumstances.

He plagued me so much that earlier this year a wrote a 86,000 word novel about him:eek:

This is out publisher haunting and though it has been rejected, it has been getting quite a lot of good feed back. So good that my edtior thinks we should do some tweaking and resubmit early next year to certain ones.

Of late I haven't thought much of him,(the character that is) but today he sort of came back while I was trying to work on another piece. He took over and three pages, about 700 words, burbled out on the machine in under an hour.

It is rough, but I think it has the makings of a good short story of about 5 to 10,000 words.....

It is about "The Hat Man", Albert, and how he got his hat and the more especially the large white feather that adorns it.

I am going to something silly and post a link to the story and update the link as and when it is written, just for the hell of it....


Hat and Feather first draft. (http://home.arachsys.com/~chris/sue/Hat%20and%20Feather.doc)


If any one wants to give an opinion, please do, but not on the grammar please. This is first draft so it will be very rough indeed....

IaNo
November 11th, 2002, 02:27 AM
I like this very much, but I was a little bit confused at the beginning. Perhaps this is because I am not familiar with some of the words, specifically firedrake (which i am course realized later was a small snake like dragon), bread peal, and water butt. This made the beginning a little confusing to me, especially since Daniel is not the type of name I would associate with a dragon. Other than that, I really enjoyed it and I can guess where the feather comes from and would like to find out more about the hat.

Other comments:

There were parts in the dialogue, starting with the boa constrictor line where I really couldn't tell who was talking and make sense of it. The words are quite fine though.

Also this section: "Yet, the man did not shriek, curse or hop about like a demented rabbit. He merely stood stock-still, his right hand shooting out, fine long fingers circling the rising firedrake round the neck. This killed Danielís joy at his victory stone dead."

I did not think the demented rabbit metaphor fit the tone of the rest of the story. Also the last line. Just my opinion. If you are married to them they are no real trouble. I just thought it better without them.

This is rough, as you know, but it seems like a great start. I am interested in your completed work with the Hat Man character. I assume this saga is not already contained in the book, it is just a mystery. That is a good idea. What I would try to do is include this short story into another book somewhere.

Look forward to you posting some more.

Talaith
November 19th, 2002, 01:54 PM
I've always liked the Hat Man, Holbrook, and would be very interested in reading more. I imagine he had quite a few adventures during his time.

Plus I like the firedrake. He has a nice name. :D

Holbrook
November 19th, 2002, 04:05 PM
Originally posted by Talaith
I've always liked the Hat Man, Holbrook, and would be very interested in reading more. I imagine he had quite a few adventures during his time.

Plus I like the firedrake. He has a nice name. :D


I named him after a dear friend ;) I just hope the friend is not offended....:(

Because the real Daniel is a cheeky chap and Daniel the firedrake is too.....:p

kater
November 19th, 2002, 04:52 PM
Yeah he reminded me of Pug's tecahers pet in Magician.

kahnovitch
November 19th, 2002, 11:41 PM
I seem to suffer from multiple personalities, especially since I began writing. The lead characters tend to represnet the darker side of me, the most prominent being some wierd hybird of Christopher Walken and Denis Leary.
I used to release this character into my writing, but I find he is playing a larger part in my day to day life.
Perhaps I'm more cynical nowadays, but then what the Hell should I expect..
I'm a writer goddamnit! I've a right to be cynical!

Holbrook
November 26th, 2002, 03:39 PM
Added the next scene to the story... still in very rough draft and will be for a while. but keeping my promise to post it as it comes to life.

The story will be but about 3,000 words no more, it is half way through.....

Hat and A Feather.... (http://home.arachsys.com/~chris/sue/Hat%20and%20a%20Feather.doc)