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Asraloth
December 3rd, 2002, 08:14 PM
would someone mind having a look at one of my stories. i have two posted at http://Stories.Com/authors/seraphim21

i'd appreciate some feedback. thanks in advance to anyone who decides to have a look.

SirRob
December 4th, 2002, 01:20 PM
It seems just a little implausible. How on earth could she not know, unless, say she was confined to one room for the whole of her life.

And the ending was a little weak, the way he just bows his head and says it was a mistake. Someone who even attempted mass destruction wouldn't be quite so meek or nice. But I couldn't really tellwhat his personality was like, everything jumped along too quickly and said person makes two (I think) short appearances.

What kind of technology must they have had to cause so much destruction? The city didn't seem very hi-tech.