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January 11th, 2003, 03:33 AM
This is a work in progress with a working title.

I was just hoping for a little CC for the story before i send it off to an editor or publisher.

Please ignore the stupid grammical errors I've made in the story and just tell me anything you like or think i can improve in the story.


( i have no idea how big the chapter sizes are around her so if it's too big just flick through it and tell me in your post)


‘BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ WAKE UP RION YOUR DAY AWAITS YOU’ buzzed the alarm clock’s irritating, high pitched, star sign reader, female voice.
‘I know my day awaits me, but I’m afraid what it might have there with it.’ I replied.

I pulled the plug out of the clock sending it’s artificial voice into an odd gargle of gibberish before it died, casting it across the floor where it landed softly on the foam weapons I had resting on the wall.

My room is… different; I really am lost for any other way to describe it. I have stacks of ‘The magic in you’ magazines around my bed, an assortment of wooden and foam weapons, a poster explaining the fighting elemental properties, a set of draws and the entire room is decked out in any shade of blue imaginable. I have a thing for water and its elemental properties, plus I love the fact that if your weapon is water based you get ice too. Not to mention my room is small, my room is very small. But at least I manage to keep it relatively tidy.

If this makes no sense it will soon.
Now, how to describe me. Well, I’m fourteen…tall, dark and hansom! But don’t get the wrong idea; I’m usually pretty modest.

Mod Edit: We limit the sizes of the posts here in the discussion forums, but we do have a Short Story section you can submit to, or you are welcome to post a link to a larger work. In the interests of consistency this very long post has been edited too.

~ Erebus ~