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January 15th, 2003, 12:18 PM
Hey, i'm sorry if this seems like SPAM, but i just realized what i need help on with my book. A Villian. I'll tell you the situation.

It was the year 1485, 2999, 3021, and a lot of places unimportant. This fantasy based book came from many fantasy inspirations created from whence I lay in bed and thought, “wow, that’s a good idea”. It begins with a young man named Mike, born from a former Mystick and his beautiful wife named Gwenno, Also born from her was Sage, trained of the arts and artificially grown. He was the first test subject of the magic of AIR, Accumulated Ionic Radiation. No one knew of this except the people of the future, for Mike was born 1461. His life was mostly spent helping around a castle in which he resided in, he had no home, not after his father was killed fatally with a wound in a chest while Mike was a little boy, he had no idea what it was that killed him, but he had an idea who it was. He sat atop the castle as the battle raged on in the distance, it was against the allied forces, and there was no escaping the inevitable. Mike had his ways of finding information this way and that, so he crawled down the castle walls from the vines and into the moat, he swept past the cold waters and mud and ran squish-squashing. Past the forest, past the legions walking in place, up past the thousands he sat. Watching his father fight, none of the soldiers could touch the blazing sword he carried, it was invincible. It was called some long name he forgot, but it could slice through everything, that’s all that Mike knew and thought of. He saw him fight every week. Every week his dad trained him, and all the time, his dad would say, “Practice makes perfect!” There were times when his father sliced his little wooden sword into splinters, but that was okay, his dad could carve him another one. He could always get a board and cut triangles out of it, which usually took three or four minutes. He watched his father die that night, when the battle was won. The reception was outside, and his father was on the grassy ground, Sage shot him, and that was that. Mike saw with anger that not only Sage shot him, Sage laughed. Sage followed his father when Mike pulled out his wooden sword and prodded Sage in the back, sending him to his unexpected fall. It wasn’t until 11 years later, Mike would become the man he never thought he could be, and had the enemy he thought he never could have, and had the highest adventure of his dreams that he thought he never deserved.

I just copied and pasted from my book. Your views would most definentley change of this book once you read the rest of the book. But i'm now at the part where Mike finds his father. I have NO VILLIAN. Sage is now a good guy. i have a side-villian. I need a very good Villian to last throughout my series! HELP!!!!!


January 15th, 2003, 12:21 PM
A bit confusing, no?

January 15th, 2003, 12:47 PM
Seems like your prologue covers quite a bit of ground, too bad you killed the killer, he was your bad guy... I supose he could have had a kid running around, who would pop up to avenge his fathers death, "You killed my Father. Prepare to die."

I PMed you my Email... I'd like to try to read a few pages... From what you've posted here it's pretty confusing, but hey...?

Watching his father fight, none of the soldiers could touch the blazing sword he carried, it was invincible. It was called some long name he forgot...

I couldn't help but laugh at that...

January 15th, 2003, 01:01 PM
Cool, i'm glad you THINK i killed the killer, thats the thing. i didn't... But i guess that is what i want to do, right? Thanks, the kid was so young, he had to have forgotten. I mean, i couldn't even pronounce the word dispicable with out getting my tongue all cramped up!

Mike-i sent reply already

January 15th, 2003, 01:02 PM
Well, now you went and killed the suspense!

January 15th, 2003, 01:12 PM
It's not as if anyone HERE is going to read it, they might think it too dumb. See, i belive in everyone except me. I think my book bites the big one. Which is why i came here for help. I promise you, you are probably going to be the only one to read this MESSAGE, let alone my book!:( :( :(

January 15th, 2003, 01:24 PM
Ok, i'm probably done for the day, i'm at school and it is over, i'll talk to you guys later! bye!

January 15th, 2003, 04:11 PM
So, you have Mike see his father fatally killed by a wound to the chest and the person who caused this to happen was Sage. Now, I'm going to assume that this is during the main part of the story 11 years later, Sage is a 'good guy' and Mike finds his father? Didn't he see his father killed as a boy? If so, how could he be finding his father again? Anyway, I digress.

Did you mention WHY Sage killed Mike's father? Sage had to have a reason. Perhaps the person who put Sage up to it, or tricked him into doing it, could be the villain.

As well, how old is Sage with relation to Mike? If they had the same mother, then it makes sense that they would be close to the same age (unless Sage was born in a future time and an older version came back to the past for some reason). If Mike and Sage WERE the same age, then it doesn't make sense that Sage would have killed Mike's father. After all, even in 1461, children did not fight in battles.

I think that Sage can still be the villain even though he is on Mike's 'side' as it were. The villain doesn't have to be some BNF (big nasty f****r), nor does he necessarily have to be directly against Mike. The two agendas can overlap easily enough depending on how the story goes. I personally think it is quite evil for the villain to be the hero's friend so that the hero inadvertently furthers the villain's agenda.

January 15th, 2003, 04:41 PM
Ah, see, if you wanted to know more, you would have to read the book, because every single answer is answered there. Well, i THINK that if they had no choice ("To arms, to arms, let no man or child without weapon!!!") then they would train kids a little and have them fight. Sage was born the same year Mike was. Only he was taken into the future and aged and came back a "supposed" artificial aged person. you'll see. As a matter of fact... Aw dang, i don't want to ruin the story!!!! Send me your e-mail at thewizerdofmerancape@hotmail.com and i'll send you my book, if you want to. Man, you're missing SO much, to understand the past, you must read the future! I might have ruined the point of turning Sage into a bad guy. Speaking of which, have you ever read a book, and think of it in japanimation? That what i was thinking when i wrote my book, weird, eh?


January 15th, 2003, 04:50 PM
Aw, crap... For one, i missed out a thank you, that really is a good idea, i might consider it, no, i WILL consider it. Anyhow, i just have to tell you, if you don't want to know about what might kill the fun, anyone, don't read this next sentance, look away as soon as... aw forget it. Sage didn't kill his father, nor did he want to. It's quite a shocker when you find out who his father is! But i might have made it a bit to mushy. Still, i forget to mention a race in the beginning. They are called Dark Lords, cheesy name, but strange. these people are those who die. Minions of the underworld take their spirits and transfer them into ghost warriors. Depending on their state of... well... their spirit, they can slowly reform into human. They do go to the future to retrieve dead souls, but do not fight in the future, they belive it unwise. So there you are!