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computer
February 1st, 2003, 05:22 PM
The short story contest that just went by (Some time ago) I entered a story for it. Now I would just like people to read my story and tell me what YOU think. Please?


It is:
Marc Kelly: A Silly Mistake.

Thanks ever so much.










Marc,

computer
February 12th, 2003, 05:39 PM
I have another story I would like people to read for me.

Marc Kelly: The Castle of Magic



If people would be so kind.

lior
February 18th, 2003, 04:52 PM
Hi there

I read your story "A silly mistake" and thought it was quite nice. It reminded me very much of "The magician's apprentice" (you know, from "Fantasia", with Micky Mouse), but it had a nice pace to it and was imaginitive. I liked the part about the "Spellbook reading spell", when Ted reads three books at once, although I thought he shrugged the whole thing off a bit too easily...:)

First of all I would try to polish the grammar and spelling a bit, but I guess this is one of your first efforts, so it's ok...
another thing I would do in a short story like this is put some more emphasis on character and plot development than on types of spells and rods and stuff...
I have to say that I was a bit disappointed that his master didn't tell him what he really does as a wizard. If you know the answer yourself, I would suggest a rewrite with a twist!;)

all and all, a nice story. some more work on character, and a little less emphasis on special effects, and it could be a great one!