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February 12th, 2003, 11:57 AM
Hi. Sorry to bug you again, but I would really like for someone to read my short-story and give me some constructive critisism. And please rate it. (For some reason, ratings make it easier to actually see what people think.)

It is fantasy and not very long (about 2000 words).

Read it here (http://www.sffworld.com/authors/u/ulvestad_hakan/fiction/promiseoflions1.html)

Thanks ppl.

Lucky Joe
February 17th, 2003, 08:47 AM
I liked the ideas in this story but it felt like it's part of a bigger piece of work?

The tortured assasin which a terrible quest to complete at all costs is a nice idea. The main thing i would say about the story though is name your characters, at times it gets a bit confusing when you call both men 'the man' and leave the reader a little unsure as to which man you're referring.

I'll give this a 3 out of 5, nice ideas and lots of potential (IMHO), if it is part of a larger work it would be good to discover more about the man's quest and the boy he's searching for, the woman he killed and so on.

February 17th, 2003, 10:08 AM
You are right. It is meant to be the prologue to a novel I am writing. That's why they haven't got names. When they're nameless I can make the reader believe the killer to be a special person or persons. And of course there will be more about the boy. The way I imagine it the story will make the reader unsure who the man really is, if I describe more than one person similar to him. And then finalyy I will reveal it. Or not...

Well anyways, thank you for reading it and giving me feedback. I really appriciate it. :D