View Full Version : Where are they now?
February 26th, 2003, 02:02 PM
In this thread a person will first explain where a certain comic book hero or villain is and what they are doing with themselves these days. Job, married, divorced, Betty Ford Clinic, managing a minor-league baseball team, ect, ect,…
Then the person posting will ask where another hero or villain is. Allowing the person who will post next to join in on the fun.
Remember first you answer where so-and-so is at and what they are doing, and then you ask about somebody else…
As we all know ROM the Space Knight was once a popular hero chasing down and banishing the dreaded Dire Writhes. Where is he now?
Well after riding the planet earth of Dire Writhes, ROM returned to his home planet to reclaim his humanity. Sadly the cyborg industry on his home planet had fallen on hard times in his absence. So to make ends meet they had sold of the DNA and human remains of all space knights to a local dairy farmer. Distraught ROM returned to Earth where he took up a job as a local parking meter cop, working until his recent retirement. He spent his pension buying a snow cone shack in the Florida Keys. You can find ROM there retailing flavored snow cones to the tourist on warm sunny days. As a side note he converted his Scanner weapon to an ice cube-making machine some years back as a cost cutting measure.
Where are they now? Archie
February 26th, 2003, 02:16 PM
I haven't been able to keep perfect tabs on all the big heros and villians of the century but some of the littler ones I've been in contact with.
Just last week I got a telephone call from Archie. Apparantly after watching to much Rosie O'Donnel Betty has gone ahead and asked him for a divorse. He thought he could rebound onto Veronica but when he called her he found out that she died from a cocain overdose only days before.
When the ol' gang gathered at her funeral Jughead had to get flown in on a special plane funded by Jerry Springr since he was to fat to move by himself, and the tires kept going flat on the transport trucks he was riding in the back of.
Right now Archie has taken a small job a peanut sorter in an m&m factory but he's not sure how much longer he can last... apparantly a lot of gross things goes on in these factories that he was happier not knowing.
His youngest daughter, 12, is pregnant and she insists on marrying her 12 year old boyfriend. And his older daughter, 16 joined a cult of people who believe that punk rockers and goths are rare space aliens (punks from mars and goths from orions belt) who have come to take over the world and soon they will battle eachother for it. He also has a new baby son.... Betty took him with her, and then gave him to chinese munks. :rolleyes:
Where are they now? Wolverine.
February 26th, 2003, 02:32 PM
Wolverine after having a rather unproductive time of it what with magneto ripping out his skeleton and his healing ability turning him into some boney animal thing was last seen mating with Jean Grey's dog after recognising the smell. He also has never seen any of the royalties for the film of his life that was made by some recording artist.
Where are they now: Venom
March 3rd, 2003, 08:21 AM
We are all aware of the checkered past that Eddie Brock and his alien symbiote have credited to them. Its true the burning and consuming hate that they both experienced for Spiderman. What you might not be aware of is that time heals wounds…
Seeing Spiderman drubbed in a fight against the evil Dr. Booger Flinger as he was attempting to protect a stack of innocent patria dishes in a lab, Venom had a change of heart. The sight of Spiderman risking life and limb to protect the tiny amebas deeply touched the symbiote, while Dr Booger Flinger turned out to be the thug that had always picked on Brock in grade and high school. Venom vowed to protect all innocent and was promptly hired as an agent by the Federal Government. After several years as an outstanding field agent Venom was promoted into a supervision role. That is where the trouble began; Eddie Brock started to have several differences with the alien symbiote. It all came to a head one day when Eddie wanted Taco Bell for lunch while the alien wanted Subway. They fought for two days… They decided to part ways with Eddie retaining his supervisory position with the government in the food preservatives testing division, Eddie Brock has ballooned to 420 lbs and has become very un-athletic and eats lots of junk food… The alien symbiote wandered around for a couple of years taking a variety of jobs, theatrical shroud, telemarketer, used-car salesman, a pair of house slippers for an elderly woman, a beech towel, and even a comic book artist. Finally the symbiote found a fulfilling job that it really loves doing, it is now a shammy cloth at a local carwash, where it wipes the water off cars and trucks all day long…
Where are they now: Green Arrow
July 8th, 2003, 05:25 PM
After watching every other superhero called Green-something-or-other die hideously in several incarnations, Green Arrow, along with the realisation that arrows weren't exactly going to trouble the Man of Steel and his ilk, burnt his bow and became a new age tree hugging hippie and did all 'that crap' some fat kid called Cartman always moans about (incidentally he isn't Cartman's father either) Now he lives simply in the forest dressed as a deer and gets humourous revenge on any hunter silly enough to try and shoot him. He was last seen hitting on a hot little reindeer called Prancer and was hoping to have lots of little Rudolphs .........
Where are they now: Martian Manhunter
July 8th, 2003, 11:35 PM
I don't know alot about Martian Manhunter, but, from what I heard, is that serving on and off with the Justice League, he decided to go off and conquer his fear of fire.
Well, he never knew, but, that fear was actually a passion, and he is currently doing S&M with some hot lil temptress in some odd attempt to cure himself.
Where are they now:Guardians of the Galaxy?
July 9th, 2003, 05:33 AM
The Guardians have teamed up with Simon Cowell to launch a new TV show called:
Pop Idol ~ Guardians of the Galaxy
This tried and tested format sees wannabes in spandex audition for a new super troup. Talent is not a prerequisite.
Where are they now? Rhino
July 9th, 2003, 06:18 AM
Rhino joined a animal sanctuary in Africa and has also being doing bit parts in films (one in particular where he gave birth to Jim Carrey in Ace 2).
He often poses as a Rhino in the wild to lure poachers who trade in Rhino horn into a rather ironic trap, whereby he charges them down and gives them the kind of rhino horn they definitely didn't want!
He has also been seen experimenting with cross-species interbreeding to create a more powerful hybird rhino.
Where are they now: DR Doom?
July 9th, 2003, 11:39 AM
Well this much we know Victor Von Doom, was a monarch with mental problems. He is better known as Dr. Doom and was driven nearly mad when his mother had been imprisoned in a demonic dimension after her death, and his attempts to free her resulted in an explosion that scarred his face. Doom blamed his college schoolmate Reed Richards for the accident, when Reed had actually warned Doom of accidents, and, due to his vanity, felt that his face had been scarred beyond repair when he had only gotten a small scar. Of course we all know about his years of battling the earths mightiest heroes and his many failed attempts at both world and universal domination. But the question remains.. Where is he now?
After years of being drubbed and manhandled by the likes of every hero in spandex, Victor was facing some real serious inferiority complex issues. His robot Dr. Dooms, that he often used as stand-ins had become so passé that heroes stopped showing up to even fight them. Dr. Doom was getting no respect at all. The bottom finally fell out for Doom when a girl scout came to his castle door one day. He refused to buy any cookies. The consequence was that the tiny Girl Scout proceeded to whip Doom up one side and down the other. By the end of this short conflict Doom had lost total control of his bowels and his bladder, he was scared of his own shadow and had agreed to purchase close to a million dollars in Girl Scout cookies, not to mention that he had pack up his genitalia and shipped them away to parts unknown never to be seen again. Victor Von Doom shortly there after abdicated his throne and dictatorship of Latveria. He spent years traveling the world on a shrimping boat looking to find himself and a purpose in his life. Finally he alighted on the coast of Jamaica where he was introduced to the local cash crop. Ever the evil genius, he started producing hybrids and improvements on the recreational plants. The top-notch stuff coming out of Jamaica today is a direct result of Dooms experiments. The irony of an evil genius bent on world domination being responsible for one of the greatest advancements towards world recreational happiness is rather stark. After some time and a lot of reefer smoke Doom removed his armor and hopped a boat to the United States still seeking a purpose to his life, although a great deal more mellow he still suffered from a major inferiority complex. Watching daytime TV he finally found the light. He was introduced to Dr. Phil, Opra and the others of that ilk. Doom’s life has never been the same, so engrossed with Dr Phil’s’ and the others wisdom and insight Victor Von Doom, became a daytime TV addict. You can find him any day of the week glued to his small TV set in his one room apartment on the lower east side of Cleveland. He has never gotten over his inferiority complex, but he has totally given up the though of world domination. After all he might miss an important Make Over on the Jennie Jones Show.
Where are they now: Wonder Woman?
July 9th, 2003, 02:09 PM
Nice one Ogg. I can just see Dr Doom on a special edition of the Jerry Springer Show with Reed Richards waiting in the sound proofed booth behind stage.
Wonder Woman mysteriously fell pregnant several times and now has six kids.
She denies any knowledge of who the father may be and theories abounded of "immaculate conception".
Although more cynical people beleive either the Flash or Superman (or possibly both) may be responsible for her offspring, as they both could have come and gone without her ever knowing there were there.
Evidence for this was when Wanda (as she likes to be called now) attended the local school sports day in which her eldest son ran the 100 metres in 1.27 seconds.
She worked part time as a lap dancer for a short period of time to support he ever increasing family, before having several liasons with notable politicians for private shows.
There is great speculation that her "lassoe of truth" may have been used in some bondage games with several statesmen as she currently lives in a luxury penthouse apartment in downtown Metropolis and has given up her lap-dancing job.
Where are they now: Morbius?
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