my novel online

[Jason_G]

Hey there.

For reasons that will remain my own, I have decided to publish my novel in serial form.

I am a graphic disgner and web developer, so publishing elecronically is second nature for me. Writing a novel, that's something else.

Have a look at my site, see if you like the story so far.

Thanks

Jason_G

http://home.centurytel.net/Outerlands/

[Pluvious]

I didn't read the whole thing but I liked what I saw. I was interested from the start and your writing didn't put me off (it flows nicely and I immediately took an interest in your character-the whole thing just sounds professional). But since the story isn't finished I don't see the point in continuing.

Good luck.

[Jason_G]

Hi,

I just added two more chapters to the story.

http://home.centurytel.net/Outerlands

thanks

JasonG

[John]

Hello JasonG

I read your story and it has the making of an interesting space adventure.

I hope that you'll get back to Shea Adair sometime soon, because I dislike having a thread of the story seem to die out then resurrect several chapters later. I found, after reading Robert Jorden, I become annoyed because I got intensely curious about what was going to happen and NEEDED to hear about that part of the story. At the moment your story is fine. I think you can probably go for another one or two chapters without continuing Shea’s part and without it being annoying for me.

I would be interested in knowing what Tyrosine was. I suppose you'll explain what that was when Kari gets sick.

It would be nice having links to the next chapter at the end of each page.

That's all I can think of for criticism and suggestions.

Now for things I liked. Well I liked the story. I liked the character building. I had no problems with reading it. You have interesting politics going on and I’m wondering why the government wants that particular smuggler ship so much. I think you’ve done fairly well.

I suppose I’ll add this story to my long list of stories that I won’t find out the ending of. Most of those stories are half-decent too. If you finish your story you can email me (s354424@student.uq.edu.au) to tell me that you've finished it. That email address will be good for at least another 3 years. I would be interested in reading the rest, but following an uncompleted series is not my cup of tea. I don’t want to constantly be wondering what happens between chapters over a year or longer.

John

[I, Brian]

Had a look but didn't read much except the first paragraph - decent opening - but no time at the moment.

BUT - what are you doing starting a Yahoo group?!?! Really, get yourself a free php based forum - there are plenty around.

Yahoo groups suck. Not friendly layout, and other groups will start spamming members unless they specifically opt out. Also, full detailed registration to create a Yahoo account is required. This is *not* going to entice the casual visitor to your site!

Personally I use a YaBB SE - free and easy to install. There are plenty of others. Ask me for some info if you'd like, as pretty rushed at the moment.