View Full Version : Feedback
April 26th, 2003, 04:38 PM
My story, "Soul Solution (http://www.sffworld.com/authors/r/rafala_carl/fiction/soulsolution1.html) ," is up in the short story section.
I would like to thank the two people who reviewed it so far.
I would greatly appreciate anyone else offering me their comments or feedback.
Mod Note: I will move this to the Writing section of the forum... it will generate a lot more feedback for you from there :) ~Cadfael~
April 26th, 2003, 05:16 PM
April 30th, 2003, 12:14 AM
I liked this story, especially your descriptions of how the Titan life would work.
I can't see any faults in your story telling style and all the elements, dialogue and description etc, seemed well balanced.
You seem to use commas more than necessary, but that was something I noticed when I was specifically looking for problems.
I didn't quite understand what the last sentence of your story meant though.
April 30th, 2003, 06:54 AM
Thank you, John.
The last line: "She knew she would remember it all..."
It is really more to make you wonder if she really would remember it all the way she would if she remained human.
If you link what the character does at the end to survive--turn herself into a bio-bot--back to the section about Piers having once been human, and then downloading himself into a bio-bot machine, you can see where the main character is going.
The story has more to do with the main character hating bio-bots like Piers, and then having to become one herself for survival.
I hope that clears it up a bit.
Thanks so much for your great feedback.
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