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Kilroy
May 2nd, 2003, 02:46 PM
Okay, i posted this story here just before Christmas and it's gotten a couple ratings. I've since updated it and fixed the grammatical errors but the point for which i bring this to all your attentions is the second comment it recieved.

Mike-Hardly original -- and if this represents your view of the world - get yourself some help - no one should be that depressed.

Please, if you would, read my story and tell me if you agree with Mike here. And if Mike reads this, please come forward.

*oops* forgot the link...
The Horsemen (http://www.sffworld.com/authors/a/azure_kalos/fiction/horsemen1.html)

btw Kilroy's back
Kilroy Was Here

Kilroy
May 3rd, 2003, 01:07 PM
FIXED!

John
May 3rd, 2003, 06:57 PM
Hi Kilroy,

I think Mike was probably religious and this prompted the comment. He probably knows the bible story very well. Consequently, the story would seem old and uninteresting. Also if he is religious he would take such a story very seriously and that would prompt the depressed comment. For someone that has faith in the Christian god, the story would be more non-fiction than fiction.

If you write about something that relates to religion expect to have certain sectors of the community offended. I know that Sara Douglas' "Crucible series" was annoying for me, as it appeared to have veiled attacks on Christianity.

As for my own personal opinion on your story. It's interesting and has a good story flow (most important thing IMO). However, I usually prefer happy endings or endings where the hero finds some fulfilment even if it's a sad ending. I wouldn't call your story unoriginal as I have rarely read stories on the subject. I think this is because most writers stay clear of religious issues as they don't wish to accidentally step on anyone's toes.

John

kgg
May 4th, 2003, 11:15 AM
Alot of writers are depressed. Look at Poe's work--very depressing. So that shouldnt worry you. And if you have mental problems--join the club. :) But if you do write on religious themes in the future--dont be surprised if you get snide comments or worse(Salman Rushdie's case). Even JK Rowling gets criticism on that.

John
May 6th, 2003, 01:15 AM
Hey Kilroy

Don't you reckon it's interesting watching the sparks fly in the Taboo thread, over things you weren't really asking about. Run away freight train comes to mind. :)

John

pcarney
May 6th, 2003, 07:10 AM
Originally posted by John
Hey Kilroy

Don't you reckon it's interesting watching the sparks fly in the Taboo thread, over things you weren't really asking about. Run away freight train comes to mind. :)

John

That's the way it goes on the forums- start of talking about the pope, end up talking about comfy chairs.

Anyway, although a dark piece, Kilroy, I don't think anyone could go so far as to 'accuse' you of being depressed after reading it. That really isn't a helpful comment anyway.

Iloendell
May 9th, 2003, 10:39 AM
hmmm... was watching monty python the other day, and saw the spanish inquisition skit, and the pope and the comfy chair stuck out to me... heheh.
nothing to do with this post
i apologise.
DJ

Gravity's End
May 9th, 2003, 11:25 AM
I don't want to offend you, but your story still needs a LOT of work in terms of grammatical errors (spelling and punctuation in particular).

The comment about you being depressed was pointless, and not a logical conclusion based on what you had written. But personally speaking, I didn't care for your story. The problem I had with it is that it really didn't seem to be much of a story at all, but mostly just a catalogue of events.

But regardless, to answer your original question, no, I don't agree with Mike that you seem "depressed." Most likely it was a word of criticism that he did not put much thought into.

Kilroy
May 9th, 2003, 11:54 PM
Gravity's End - I don't want to offend you, but your story still needs a LOT of work in terms of grammatical errors (spelling and punctuation in particular)
ahem...

Kilroy - I've since updated it and fixed the grammatical errors

Kilroy Was Here

IaNo
May 10th, 2003, 02:54 AM
I thought your story was very well written (of course I overlooked all the spelling and punctuation errors since I know you have already fixed them). The pace and style was excellent, especially for the topic. It seemed like something the Jehovah's witnesses SHOULD send me in their pamphlets, at least that way I would be impressed with the writing. I thought it was interesting to have a story with no main character, no one person who experiences all of the things that happen. It is very omniscient. I like it. I think it would be cool to write another version with a character too though. As for the depressed thing...well, no it didn't seem depressing at all. I guess all people who believe in such a thing happening must seem somewhate depressed to people who don't, but it doesn't really correlate to real depression. Besides, like someone already stated, depression is often a useful tool for writers and I think most of us are depressed so welcome to the club.

keep up the good work