[DrBloodmoney1]

I like nothing better than a good conspiracy story, or lacking that, just good gossip. Well I'd like to talk about two mediocre fantasy authors. Robert Newcomb, who produced the worthless 'Epic Fantasy of the Year' in 2002, The Fifth Sorceress, aspired to write a better fantasy novel than Terry Goodkind (which was the only fantasy novel he ever read, by the way). Well, we all know how that line of promotion flew into the face of Del Rey. (Notice that his follow-up turd, The Gates of Dawn, is not being touted as 'Epic Fantasy of the Year' by a large banner on the front of the novel). This GoodBadKind novel was handed to him by his neuropsychologist "wife" (who is an author, just so happens). Now, I can completely sympathize with one's conviction that any monkey could write a better book than BadKind. I just wouldn't set the bar that low, nor would I be that monkey.

Enter Mitchell Graham, neuropsychologist and novelist. He, too, is an individual who was handed a fantasy novel by a "close" friend. After a short period of time later, he excreted the stinking, sticky pile of waste known as The Fifth Ring. This book slowly killed something inside of me. I don't know if it was my own sense of amazement at the audacity of the book publishing industry, a life-long love of reading fantasy novels, large portions of my imagination, millions of neurons, or my patience with kitchen-boy heroes.

I would like to strongly caution the fantasy-reading public: Please do not give fantasy books to your "partner." After one reading they might decide to continue the disturbing trend of challenging an ever-lowering standard of mass-market fantasy. Churning out 'Fifth Turds' after 'Fifth Cliche' after 'Fifth Kitchen-boy meets the big teddy-bear and experiments.' This problem is apparently most commonly occuring in Florida, so be especially preventive there. Please be aware of the Florida posse of neuropsychologists and novelists terrorizing the fantasy loving public with their excresences.

Also, a very sad commentary on the state of the fantasy publishing industry. Misrepresentation of authors and shameless promotion of terrible fantasy will only lose them readers in the future.

Tor, big publishing house that it is, at least has the cannonballs to accurately represent their authors. In the 21st century it is OK to support artists who lead "alternative" lifestyles. I have been particularly impressed with Tor and Ricardo Pinto in this respect.

Please do not waste your disposable income on either Mitchell Graham or Robert Newcomb. I have been there. I have also sold those books on eBay for a lot less than I paid for them, and was glad to do it (even though I felt sorry for the buyer).

Mitchell Graham (http://www.writerswrite.com/journal/feb03/graham.htm)

Robert Newcomb (http://www.sfbookcase.com/author.asp?forename=Robert&surname=Newcomb)
Robert Newcomb (http://www.computercrowsnest.com/sfnews2/02_sept/news0902_11.shtml)

DrB

[Evil Agent]

Oh GAWD.

Did he actually say he wanted to write a better fantasy novel than Terry Goodkind???

(pause)

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TALK about setting the bar too low.

That's like saying "I'm going to paint a better picture than my toddler!"

[Mithfânion]

Several copies of JV Jones' "Cavern of Black Ice" carried the sticker "as good as David Eddings or your money back"

I had trouble believing that was serious, but it must have been.

If it were a joke though, it's a good one.

I've heard nothing positive for either Newcomb and Graham so they're not on the to-read list.

[cgw]

I usually ignore any publisher-written accolades. It was hard to ignore The Fifth Sorceress though due to the prominate position it was given on the book store shelves. It looked pretty good based on the jacket. I did not get it though based on advice in this web board. There is another thread concerning what books we have read based on this web board. I can almost say I have not-read as many as I have read based on advice from this board.

Anyway, the point is that they probably sold a lot of The Fifth Sorceress and what works once will work again.

[Rob B]

The Newcomb stuff was bandied about when THE FIFTH SORCERESS was published last year. The whole Goodkind comparison really put me off. His approach, in that both he and NoGoodkind really-don't-read-fantasy-but-think-they-can-write-it is annoying.

Heard the same about Graham as well.

[Hobbit]

It is interesting how Newcomb's latest is not being sold quite so hard. :)

Amazon co.uk actually refer to the sequel as 'somewhat repetitive and clunky, but significantly superior to its predecessor.' :D

And that's from somewhere that usually falls over backwards to emphasise the positive!


Agree with a lot of what's been said earlier. (Dr B, why don't you say what you really think?' :D)

Hobbit

[Vladimir]

I have been particularly impressed with Tor and Ricardo Pinto in this respect.

ke?

but yeah.. I wont touch anything with the number 5 in the title

[Blackwing]

I just think that this shows how little publishers think of fantasy and by extension people who read it. Or is it actually possible in any other genre than fantasy, to flount to the public that you don't read any books in a given genre and then have a book published in that genre ? Does this happen in detective or romance genre?

I mean of course you can do it, but IMHO it's really stupid to advertise it. It just shows that the writer doesn't know anything about the genre he is writing in and wants money for nothing.

I'm a Neil Gaiman fan. Or to be more spesific Sandman fan. I hesitated to by American Gods. Why? Because of the threat on the cover: As good as Eddings or your money back. :rolleyes:

[Arc]

Originally posted by Mithfânion
Several copies of JV Jones' "Cavern of Black Ice" carried the sticker "as good as David Eddings or your money back"

I had trouble believing that was serious, but it must have been.

If it were a joke though, it's a good one.

I've heard nothing positive for either Newcomb and Graham so they're not on the to-read list.

I remember that! Was hilarious. Worse, I made the mistake of picking up a JV Jones book once, and omg.... pox.

[Sirand]

...?