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April 29th, 2003, 04:35 PM
A road story it wasn't planned it just happened done for laughs, poking fun at me, ourselves, us..... can't be serious all the time


On a barren dusty desert highway far, far away...... a neat 50 year old morgan sports car (in British racing green of course) is eating up the miles............. The mouse is leaning back in the passanger seat , ears blowing in the wind.

Holbrook glances at his companion, adjusts his sunglasses and smiles..... The get away had been clean....(hopefully)

The mouse scampers forward and turns on the radio.............

Nobody on the road
Nobody on the beach
I feel it in the air
The summer's out of reach
Empty lake, empty streets
The sun goes down alone
I'm drivin' by your house
Though I know you're not at home

But I can see you-
Your brown skin shinin' in the sun
You got your hair combed back and your sunglasses on, baby
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone

I never will forget those nights
I wonder if it was a dream
Remember how you made me crazy?
Remember how I made you scream
Now I don't understand what happened to our love
But babe, I'm gonna get you back
I'm gonna show you what I'm made of

I can see you-
Your brown skin shinin' in the sun
I see you walkin' real slow and you're smilin' at everyone
I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone

Out on the road today, I saw a DEADHEAD sticker on a Cadillac
A little voice Inside my head said, "Don't look back. You can never look back."
I thought I knew what love was
What did I know?
Those days are gone forever
I should just let them go but-

I can see you-
Your brown skin shinin' in the sun
You got that top pulled down and that radio on, baby
And I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone

I can see you-
Your brown skin shinin' in the sun
You got that hair slicked back and those Wayfarers on, baby
I can tell you my love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone


Scarlett is only aware of a low growling noise and the gentle vibrations. But she is warm and comfy in her hidie hole that she found the night before. Sleep induced from imbibing too much of the martini foulness and its vapors, she found a nice enclosed bed of some sort, and squeezed inside. But now the bed had started to vibrate wonderfully and the growling was pleasant as it waxed and waned. But the music was even better and kept mentioning the boys of summer. How she loved the boys of summer. Finally her eyes snap open as she hears Holbrook singing. Holbrook singing? Not even in her worse martini experiences has Holbrook sung to her! Pushing out of her tiny enclosed bed, she pops up from............

Appears to be the boot of a fine sports car. The fit is tight and she pushes her way up through the leather covering and is tightly packed between the two seats, but slightly behind. Her head pops up and Holbrook sees it the rearview mirror, in his peripheral vision. He momentarily is startled and begins to lose control of the precious Morgan. The mouse screams "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Not again" and clamps its tiny feet over his eyes.

Scarlett, suddenly thinking she must be on some zany new Disney roller coaster ride is getting really sick........really sick...............uh............did I mention really pea green sick? OH NO............................................

April 29th, 2003, 04:36 PM

Holbrook manages to keep damages to a minimal but the threesome hop and skip across several large mounds of sand and dirt and into some dried grasses and came to a halt just moments before real disaster!

Scarlett leaps from the car and makes it a couple of feet outside the passenger door. Holbrook's fine large brimmed red hat is crush down over one ear and eye, its large plume wedged in his mouth. He spits repeatedly to get the feather tip out. The Mouse has jumped onto the door and watches the happenings just a couple of feet from him. "That is totally disgusting!" gags the Mouse. "Martini drinkers are such nasty creatures, really disgusting. We need more Martini drinker traps and fewer mouse traps!" He shivers and gags again at Scarlett's retching.

Jumping down onto the leather seat, standing on rear legs, his front paws resting at his hips (hips on mice?) and starts in on Holbrook. In his most sarcastic, lecturing type of voice "Another fine mess you've gotten us into, Stanley! Yes, another hellava mess! I tried to warn you. But did you listen? NO! You never listen to my wise advice. I'm ignored. And I am getting damned tired of it too, Holbrook! Damned tired! Look at yourself. Your hat all scrunched and the feather broken in 3 places. And that hideous creature retching her guts out. Look what your foolishness has brought us too. Just two more members of the stupid human race. Once, we were swashbuckling observers of the fraility of others. We rode above them all in our own superiority. We could allude their foul touch. Now look at us. I am sooooooooooooo embarrassed."

The Mouse sits heavily in his seat, still muttering, his feet crossed tightly in his new found low life disgusting existence - with a ridiculous looking ex-swashbuckler and a retching slut. "Oh the horrors of it!" moans the Mouse, its tiny head crashing back against the seat.


Holbrook glances at his sulking companion and sighs. He then takes off his hat and straightens the feather.

The mouse huffs and shuffles in his seat.

Holbrook then reaches down and pulls a whicker hamper out from under the passenger seat. He flicks it open and pulls out a neat flask. He then pours out one man and one mouse sized glass of the contents.

The mouse's nose twitches but he refuses to look at Holbrook. Who is now slicing french bread and spreading a very rich stinky cheese on it.

The mouse tries hard to keep his sulk in place.

Holbrook places the mouse's drink along with the bread and cheese on the seat by the mouse. The mouse's nose is now twitching ten to the dozen....

"Actually my name isn't Stanley." Holbrook softly says... "And who had the morgan out last? Hmmmm.... All locked tight as a drum I believe your words were. Well how did she get in there then?"

The mouse's mouth flaps he gives a half mutter and downs his drink in one. Holbrook refreshes his companion's glass.

"God! What is that stink?" Scarlett moans as she comes along side the car

"Cheese m'dear," Holbrook replies and offers her a slice on the end of his knife.

April 29th, 2003, 04:37 PM

The Mouse looks disapprovingly at the Slut! And then Holbrook had the manners to offer her some of their splendid respite and the vile creature turned her nose up! The Mouse shook his head at the lack of manners. Must be some fool Yank, that one is. announced the Mouse. No manners at all. And your name isn't Stanley? Thank God. The Mouse can't stand it further and devours the cheese and bread.

Scarlett climbs over and wedges herself back into the tight confines of her earlier location and starts to moan. The Mouse can't stand it and jumps onto top of the seat, then leaps over onto the Slut's head. He reaches down and pinches her ear lobe visciously and whispers Hey Yank. Why don't you go lie in the shade over by that rock. It will make you feel better.

Scarlett thinks maybe she needs distance from the rodent and climbs back out. Once she's settled in the shade, the Mouse turns to Holbrook and screams Fire this sucker up. Let's leave her here by the side of the road. No one will miss her!


Holbrook shakes his head, "We can't leave her....

Why Not?" The mouse answers pointing to the key


"Rats!!!!!" the mouse mutters..."Well, she rides in the back then?" Holbrook raises his left eyebrow...

"Scarlett, m'dear. I think you best get in the car and I will get you back to the Den and your lover's arms" Holbrook gallantly says.

Scarlett's beautiful head comes up and the name of her beloved drops from her lips.

Holbrook and the mouse exchange looks as the word reaches them... "Well, well who would of thought that?" Holbrook comments.

"Poor sucker" The mouse replies and vacates the seat as Scarlett climbs in. He moves up Holbrook's arm and drops into the "v" of Holbrook's open necked shirt.

"Behave in there. "Holbrook remarks as the mouse shuffles to get comfortable. The mouse looks up at his friend and grins. The creature's smile soon fades as Scarlett begins to moan about the specifications on the vehicle. No sunroof. No Air conditioning. No four track stereo CD player.

"It's a classic... " Holbrook softly says as he starts the engine and backs the car out of its resting place.

The mouse glares at Scarlett as she leans towards Holbrook. He mutters. "Damn Yank... over sexed and stay over there..."

April 29th, 2003, 04:38 PM

Although Holbrook's driving was incredibly......uh.....scary, Scarlett soon got into it. Of course, driving on the wrong side of the road and sitting in the seat that was normally the driver's side in civilized nations, made her the most uncomfortable! But soon the fresh air ripping through her hair and her stomach settling was making her a new woman.

Though admittedly, she had to keep stealing glances at Holbrook. Quite the charmer. Old fashioned manners and such a gallant manner about him. Quite different than she was used to. But then she'd spot the Mouse glaring at her again, and giving her the one claw salute, Scarlett would back up into her own seat and refocus on the road.

The trip was quiet for a while, then strange knocking noises started coming from the engine and the car began to slow. Luckily, they were coming to the outskirts of a quaint village. They rolled to a stop. Holbrook repeatedly tried restarting, getting constant battering instructions from the Mouse. Scarlett stayed silent since she knew very little about cars, and even less about Morgan touring racers!

But there just paces away, was the most beguiling little diner. Lace curtains on the windows, the outside whitewashed with a dutch blue roof and shutters. The front door was painted a bright lemon yellow and highly varnished. "Looks like a great place to get some refreshments" Scarlett announced.


"Petrol first" Holbrook announced and hopped out of the car.

"Petrol???" Scarlett asked puzzled.

"Gas woman. From over there......" The mouse hissed and pointed to the set of pumps before the diner. "Well don't just sit there get out and push." The mouse hopped onto the steering wheel as he spoke.

"Albert.... "Holbrook sighed as he bent his back and began to push.

April 29th, 2003, 04:39 PM

Scarlett joined him at the rear and helped, avoiding the glares the mouse Albert was giving her in the rearview mirror.

"It's getting late." Holbrook said as he watched the pump attentent fill the car.

"Yes and I am a little hungry and..... " Scarlett began smiling at Holbrook.

"You mean it's been nearly 6 hours since you filled your gullet with martini." Albert snapped.

"Albert enough...." Holbrook snapped back...

"Oh.... like that is it?" The mouse retorted jumped out of the Morgan and stormed off towards the diner.

"No its........... " Holbrook's voice trailed off and Scarlett noticed a rather sad expression cross the man's face.........


Scarlett wondered what could possibly be so deep inside this enigma of a man that she wasn't seeing. Men were all alike. Weren't they? At least, all the men she had ever met were all alike. But there was something intriguing about Holbrook! Deeply into her thoughts, she followed Holbrook who was following Albert the mouse. She didn't notice the strange looks people made towards the three of them. There was nothing strange about a swashbuckler with a red hat and broken feather, a mouse, and a slut traveling together!

Someone pushed out of the bright yellow door and Albert scooted in, nearly catching his tail in the closure. But Holbrook swept the door open, taking his hat off and slightly bowed at Scarlett to let her pass first. Inside the diner smelled superb. The warmth and the smells and the hint of drawn beer. Incredible countryside!

Holbrook pulled out a chair and like a gentleman waited for Scarlett to sit. Albert had jumped in the chair opposite and seeing the grand jesture snorted loudly several times "Oh yes. It is like that!

Looking at Holbrook, Scarlett asked "What's the rat talking about?"

"RAT? Holbrook, she just called me a RAT! The trollop! I should beat the holy cr...."

"Albert, please. I will explain it to her!" Holbrook said softly, frustration clear in his voice.

"Good Luck getting the wench to understand it. I don't think much of her. Seems rather one dimensional, if you ask me." smarted the mouse.

Scarlet gave the mouse a hellava glare

April 29th, 2003, 05:12 PM
Holbrook waited until the waitress had brought their order. Then he carefully served Scarlett with tea. He noticed how her eyes widened at his gesture....

"Shouldn't of done that." Albert remarked as he slurped hot sweet tea from a saucer.

"Old habit's die hard." Holbrook said a small smile on his face.

"Thought I had rid you of them half a world away and a few centuries ago "

"What did he say?" Scarlett said the cream cake half way to her mouth. A dollop of cream came adrift and fell down the front of her dress. "Oh nuts"

"Not from where I am sitting"

"Albert!" Hobrook's voice for the first time took on a tinge of anger.

"Oh pardon me.... please continue..."

"Scarcastic little rat isn't he?" Scarlett ventued as she flicked out the cream from where it lay. The off white lump splattered down on the table.

"Missed" Albert declared as he sucked the contents out of a rather large chocolate eclair.

"I wasn't aiming for you...."Scarlett stuck her tongue out.

Holbrook shook his head and began to speak. "You seem to be taking the fact that Albert can talk in your stride Scarlett. Also he is at present a mouse. One black mouse with long whiskers and tail. Bead like hooded eyes and very, very male..."

"You sure its a male?" Scarlett asked trying to bait the rat..

"Oh yes he is very much that..." As Holbrook spoke a soft gleam came into his eyes.

Scarlett O'Hara
April 29th, 2003, 05:27 PM
Originally posted by Holbrook
"You sure its a male?" Scarlett asked trying to bait the rat..

"Oh yes he is very much that..." As Holbrook spoke a soft gleam came into his eyes.

"I would rather know more about you, Holbrook. Now you are very much a male. An intriguing male....." Scarlett began.

But the mouse suddenly spit his chocolate eclair center and fell over on the table. His legs were all motion as he banged his tiny front paws repeated on the table. His laughed ranged through the diner, which considering his small size was a feat! Scarlett stared as the mouse turned onto its back, its laughter rolling off it in peals.

"She is an idiot, Holbrook. How much do you have to explain before she gets it?" screamed the mouse in merriment. "What a moron!"

Suddenly the waitress was back with a broom and dust pail. "Pardon me, folks. Didn't notice this rodent here!" and she swatted at the mouse. Holbrook was trying to stop the woman and Scarlett reached over and pulled the mouse to safety. Then quickly dropped him and her lips quivered "EUeeueuueeue. Nasty."

April 30th, 2003, 01:58 AM
"EUeeueuueeue. Nasty." Scarlett's words were the trigger for the ensuing chaos.

Holbrook battled an enraged waitress, who out weighted him by at least a hundred pounds. Her wide bottomed frame shook as Holbrook struggled to keep her dust pan and brush away from the mouse.

Albert however left off glaring at Scarlett and bellowed "Bombs away." Scarlett sat back down and merely stared at the remains of their afternoon tea. In fact the afternoon teas on every table. They were in motion. Each cream cake, slice of bread and butter, cup and saucer were rising into the air.

"It's impossible... "Scarlett burbled through her fingers....

"Nothing is impossible," Albert said in a very different voice. It was a rich bass rather than a high pitched squeak. The various items in motion began to form an orderly line as they tageted in on the sumo waitress. Holbrook was now pinned against the fish tank in the middle of the diner. His hands raised to defend himself from a rain of blows.

"Why doesn't he hit her?" Scarlett said as she balled her fists and ducked to avoid a wayward buttered scone.

Holbrook doesn't hit women. The mouse replied as his eyes narrowed at the even larger figure now bearing down on Holbrook. The waitress extra large boyfriend had entered the room in answer to his beloved's crys.

"Do something!" Scarlett screamed and thought damn mouse, the arial attack was not working. The damage done to the waitress was minimal. She surged from her seat and charged at the struggling pair. She hit at the same time as the boyfriend. All four went down in a pile of arms and legs followed by at least a dozen cream teas...

Scarlett O'Hara
April 30th, 2003, 02:26 AM
“First things first” thought Scarlett as tons of waitress and boyfriend bodies crashed the wind from her chest. “Disable the boyfriend!” That was no trouble. Scarlett had plenty of training on quickly disabling overbearing males. It took only two good hard upward jabs of her right knee to the man’s groin as she hit upward with her palm into his chin. The scream was enough to tell her, she still possessed damn fine aim! He rolled off to the side, fetal position, holding himself and crying like a baby. His tongue seemingly caught on teeth. “Now for the waitress!” thought Scarlett.

But suddenly, a strong male arm reached in and grabbed the waitress by the back of her collar and pulled her up. It was enough for Scarlett to pull out and reach for Holbrook. If Holbrook couldn’t hit a woman, she sure could! But Holbrook wasn’t there. Just another woman. A woman she had never seen before was at the bottom of the pile along with herself.

Scarlett looked around and then her head suddenly snapped back to the other female. SHE was wearing Holbrook’s velvet pants and the beautiful silk shirt -previously worn by the male Holbrook. “Maybe the martini mist has finally done its damage!” thought Scarlett. “I am totally mad. No longer sane. The fact I didn’t question a mouse who could talk - should have been my first clue. And now this! Holbrook a woman?”

But she hadn’t even gotten to know the very male Holbrook yet. Something she had wanted very much to do. But she still grabbed at the person wearing Holbrook's clothes and pulled her away from the sumo waitress. The other female looked at the man holding the swinging waitress at arm's length and the most feminine voice breathed happily "Albert. It's you! Oh my Love! It's been so long."

Scarlett knew it for sure now. She was mad. Completely certifiably mad. Mad as a hatter!

April 30th, 2003, 02:54 AM
"Spell slip..... Get to the morgan now! The man Albert ordered.

Holbrook's lips tightened. As glad as she was to see him, he could put a downer on things sometimes... Then the words "spell slip" registered.... Oh hell, Holbrook thought, no wonder she could "see" him. And she also knew everyone including the stunned Scarlett could she her. But that wasn't the worse of it. Not by a long shot.

The diner began to shake. It tipped left. Then right, the contents sliding from side to side. Scarlett and Holbrook tumbled over the poleaxed boyfriend and slid under a table.

"Get to the morgan," Albert repeated, still standing holding the waitress, even with the floor at 45 degrees. He dropped her and watched, with sparkling dark hooded eyes, as she rolled into the fish tank and took it and herself through the door into the kitchen. He then picked up the Holbrook's hat and rammed it on his head. Whipped a table cloth from off the floor and deftly wrapped it round his middle.

"Pity... " the stunned Scarlett mumbled from under the table, as thoughts of a mouse turned into a naked, well made man of medium height tumbled through her brain. " It's the martini mist.... oh Hereford how do you do it or don't you....."

"Come on..... "Holbrook cried and pulled Scarlett across the floor to the door.

"Leave it...." Albert said, as bent down to help Holbrook.

"No.... "

" Where did you get these notions of gallantry..." Albert sighed, as he helped Holbrook steer a reeling Scarlett out of the door and across the shimmering forecourt to the car.

"You..." Holbrook retorted as she looked up at the sky... It had gone a very funny colour.....