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I need your opinion


Pages : 1 2 3 [4]

haim
September 17th, 2003, 03:16 PM
Thanks very much choppy I think I'll take your advice.

In answer to your question here's something I've already written in another thread:

I finished my first novel called "The Haunted Legacy" a few months ago and gave out a few copies to some experts and friends.
I was three chapters into my second novel "Cedalion" when I got reviews from some of the readers that were overall rather positive but it was pretty much agreed that the ending was a bit of a dissapointment. The truth is I was planning on having a twist in the sequel that would reveal a big part of the history of the world my novel takes place at and would make the ending of the first seem much much bigger and more epic. I now realize that the end of the first novel doesn't stand well on its own and that I cannot leave things for the next book and that's why I wrote the short story "The Gathering of the powers" which was supposed to be revealed in the second novel.
I still haven't decided whether I should add this as a short story at the end of my first novel or write it into the first novel but what's important is if the short story is any good plot-wise.
That's where you all come in.
I really really really need to know if you like my short story so that I can decide exactly wehat to do. Most chances are that if this short story is good then the novel is too since the have a lot in comon.
I hope I've explained my desparation enough to make you go into my thread and short story and review it.
I've just re-written the first novel so many time and I"m dying to go on with the second or attempt to publishe the first and thayt's why your opinion is very very very very very very i-m-p-o-r-t-a-n-t!

I'd appreciate critiques plotwise mostly but grammar and michanics would be greatly welcomed as well.
I'm aware of the fact my short story needs a lot of rewriting and that's why I really need as much help as I can get.

haim
January 13th, 2004, 11:03 AM
I know its been a long time since i've bothered u all, but I'm now in contacts with an agent (I've passed the query letter and proposal thank god!) and he wishes for me to send him the full manuscript. I'm sending it in a week tops (I've already changed the short story a lot thanks to your comments)
The thing is i want to be as confident as i can before i send it so pleasssssse write me a few more reviews based on the draft that's on this site.
Here's a link: http://www.sffworld.com/authors/a/a...ngofpower1.html

Speed would be greatly appreciated as I'm probably going to be asked to remove it from this site in a matter of days.
Thanks in advance!
Haim

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haim
January 14th, 2004, 02:40 PM
i realized the above link does not work so here it is:
http://www.sffworld.com/authors/a/avihail_hm/fiction/gatheringofpower1.html
check it out quick please!

 

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