View Full Version : ** Three's Company **
May 9th, 2003, 03:58 PM
Been sitting in this cell for 67 days straight. Cell on my left is empty. Itís the last one in this block. Cell on my right is some alien that hasnít shown any interest in conversation. Suits me fine. Aliens have a place in this universe. Itís alright with me if they stay in that place.
Look out the cell door and I see a wall,. well, the corridor and then a wall. Look at the rear of the cell and you get another wall. No windows, just wall.
The other side of the alien appears to be a wall as well. Small cell block, three cells. Must not have a great need for prison space. Course, they needed one for me. And for the alien.
This was going to be my big score, set me up for a run to the inner planets where there is no law, the kind of rules a man can learn to live with. A stone, an icefire gem, 40-50 karats. Hanging from a chain wrapped round this old ladyís neck. How was I supposed to know the old lady is mother of what passes for the Chief of Police in this place? Worse, how was I to know sheíd have a titanium masterlock on the necklace?. Hell, Iíd only been dirtside two hours. The shuttle was doing an immediate turnaround. I could have been aboard and gone before anyone realized what had happened.
My timing was perfect. She started towards the terminal door, I brushed behind her, made contact, hand over shoulder, grab the stone, take off running. Sheíd have never seen me.
Masterlock donít break, you know? I grab the stone, yank, and run. Get pulled up short because the old lady is an alien massing a kilo at least. Chain doesnít break; she doesnít move; Iím overbalanced and on the floor. She calmly sits on my legs and calls her son on her wristphone.
One to two years depending upon behavior. One to two years sitting in this cell meditating upon my sins. No exercise program I do not dream up for myself. Passable food, required facilities. Thatís it.
No, wait a minute, thatís not all of it. A year on this planet is 543 days. A day has 37 hours. So, of the 543 minimum, Iíve served 67. Once my bio-rhythms get used to 37 hour days, nothing to it. Be out of here in no time.
May 9th, 2003, 04:09 PM
To pass the time, I study the alien who seems to be studying me. Beingís about 165 cm compared to my 183cm. Probably weighs 50 kilos to my 91. Wears a dress. The schoolmasters would say itís a toga but canít see calling things except what they are. Itís a dress.
No shoes so six toes are pretty prominent. Look up and sure enough six fingers too. Makes you want to see three eyes, doesnít it? But you donít. You donít see any eyes; you see something where eyes ought to be but that something looks like a million tiny filaments, sensors mashed together. Iridescent brown. My brown eyed girl. Except we donít know sheís a girl.
Has a nose and mouth close to human norm so thatís a relief. Teeth do look kind of sharp, though. Must be some molars in there somewhere but what you see is incisors, lots of ďem. And the most godawful green hair you have ever seen. Lots of it, too. Hangs down its neck, over her shoulders. Green hair! Ugh!
Two arms, two legs, no tail visible. Skin is maroon. Can you believe that? What kind of climate is gonna produce maroon skin?
Eats the same thing I eat so thereís something good to say about it. Probably just means we are competitors for the same resources.
Takes dumpsÖschoolmaster terms, eliminates waste in the same kind of device provided me so that has to count for something. Never see anything exposed, though, a privacy screen goes up when use them.
No breasts or, if there are breasts, they are record level small. Proverbial fried eggs.
Never takes the dress off so no way of knowing whether there is anything interesting under the material.
May 9th, 2003, 04:22 PM
Cells I can tell by the stink. "Take the hood off I can't breath." I rasp at the guard who is carrying me bodily into the stinkhole.
"Yes you can, " The guard rumbles as he tucks me further under his arm.
"No I can't..... take the hood off.... " I purr....
"And what? Have you fry my brains."
"Nooooo..... promise......" I start to wriggle as I hear the click of a cell door being opened.
"The hood stays and don't try to claw it off this time you will get a shock." With these words the guard tosses me into the cell. I roll bounce and crash into the far wall the hood hitting hard. I spit my fury in the dark and slam my head complete with hood against the wall again and again.
May 9th, 2003, 04:50 PM
Another one! Surrounded by motherfashing aliens! What did I do to the universe to deserve this?
This one pounds its head against walls. That's intelligent. If there were a scale of intelligent behavior among aliens, which there isn't because we can't even decide what constitutes intelligence among ourselves, this one would have to rank pretty high, don't you think? Bang, bang, bang. Brilliant. Motherfashing brilliant.
Stands about 152cm, weighs about 36kilos. With rag around its head hard to make out the face. If those are eyes under that, those discs are huge, almost 6cm diameter. No ears visible under the rag. Mouth with reasonable teeth.
"Hey, little missy," I say to the green haired monster behind me, "that's how teeth are supposed to look."
The new being is all hair, darkest brownest hair on the darkest brownest skin, everywhere, couple of cm length from shoulders to ankles. Brown, ratty, hair. But muscular. No fat on that frame anywhere.
Oh, ****! Yes there is. Breasts! And no heavy artillery at the crotch. Another damned female.
"Hey, you, universe! What the hell are you doing here? I got 476 days left and you surround me with females? Alien females? Why me, universe, why me?"
May 9th, 2003, 05:07 PM
Bang! Bang! Hood off! All I want. Hood off! I stop. Sway. Disregard the pain. Unimportant. Hood off important. Then I begin to claw at the fabric. Then I scream. Not cloth! Not Cloth! Metal strands as fine as my fur. I can breathe through it and they can poke a straw through it to feed me slop. But no hood off. Drawn tight. Wire round my neck.
The rage is consuming me I must stop. I shudder and draw in a deep breath and try to curl up. But my rage will not go.
I try again. No. I scream my fury and it rips my throat.
Try again. Need something to anchor myself to. A voice muttering. I draw the sounds into me and breathe them out. I don't understand the sounds but the anger in the voice I do. It draws the anger in me away...
I relax and curl round and purr my thanks to the voice.
May 9th, 2003, 05:48 PM
Mit'shib'ins. My luck! Mit'shib'ins. Tailchaser one. Unknown other. Stinks. Badly stinks. I stinks. Been round Mit'shib'ins much too. Guild Pok, I. No one seeks me but Mit'shib'ins. My luck! Goddess, your poor servant I. Making me a Mit'shib'in stay I longer. Help.
Noise they make. Horrible. Cell I new need. Affront to Guild Pok! Goddess, your poor servant I. Help.
Mit'shib'ins! utichi' ah'hiba Mit'shib'ins! Stink. Stink I badly too.
"?Tailchaser, why you me look?" I asked the Terran male in the next cell. "Quieten Mit'shib'in!. You quieten can?" The Terran male looks strangely at me. He must be inferior breed stock!
May 9th, 2003, 06:04 PM
No way! Just can't be happenin'! Pidgin? The damn thing speaks pidgin! 476 days and the damn thing speaks pidgin.
At least the other damned alien decided to quiet down. Guess I have to talk to greenie. But pidgin! Why the hell pidgin? Universe, I'm keeping score here. You owe me, big time.
"Okay, miss green hair, I'm here and you're there; our little friend is over there. That sums the situation up succinctly, don't you think. Or can you think? Tell me, missy green hair, can you think?"
Don't matter, really. Think, no think. We're here for the duration. 476 days of 'you quieten can?' Wonderful!
476 days of 'mittens heavens'. Wonderful!
Head banging on one side; pidgin on the other.
Universe, listen up here. I'm not going to make it, you hear? A little help please. Strike this one dumb, let that one kill itself pounding the walls, okay. That's all I'm asking. Just a little help.
"Tell, me missy green hair, can you think?"
May 9th, 2003, 06:18 PM
Terrans! utichi' ah'hiba Terrans!
"?Tailchaser, know you who insult? Missy green hair, no! Guild Pok. I! Guild Pok, utichi' ah'hiba, Terran! I. We make slow maybe, conversation, so understand you. I Pelama Rolof, Guid Pok. Nice to me you must! You dull tooth, to me nice you must!"
I look at the ugly Terran. Blunt eared and dull in teeth. No doubt, he is inferior breed stock. Head tilted to one side, ugly and stinks. He may not speak to me thus. I am a Guild Pok! A proud thief. He stinks. So do I, worse by minute around utichi' ah'hiba Terrans and Mit'shib'ins!. They deserve nothing better in greeting.
May 9th, 2003, 06:27 PM
"So you're saying you can think, is that it? Or is that just the sales pitch, a Gilded Poke? Can't see why gilding it would make it any better but I'm willling to listen.
"What is it you want me to teach you? Ahiba? Never heard of it. Sorry, missy green hair, when you learn to speak the language, maybe we can communicate. I doubt it. Take the simplest, most complete language in the universe, Terran, and the best you can do is slow down and still don't get the words correct.
"Who let you guys in the Union?"
Hey, universe, it's me again. Pee on my roof with the guilded poke, what kind of name is that? Give me a break.
"Hey, missy green hair. What have they got you in here for? You promise someone a gilded poke and couldn't produce?"
May 9th, 2003, 06:44 PM
"?Tailchaser, fun you make of me?" My filament eyes flash. I know what he said. He thinks I need education. !But I meant him! He needs education on how to speak to me. !Inferior bread stock terran!
My head tilts one way then other as I try to distinguish his words rapidly spoken. !Terrans do this so others can not understand earth languages!. Terrans, tricky like that. Don't trust in anyone but another Terran.
I laugh when I realize he is too stupid to understand a simple term of Mit'shib'ins utichi' ah'hiba. I point at the furred thing and say Mit'shib'in! Then standing, I make my way to common prison wall and point to him and say utichi ah'hiba. Nothing. No sense of understanding on its face. I point at him and repeat utichi' ah'hiba, again and again and again. Still no recognition. !This one more stupid than most!
Suddenly the stupid stinking Terran leaps towards our common wall and jerks my hand and arm around the cell bars. I scream and hold my arm, sneering and spitting at him utichi' ah'hiba maji'jiru'onta! Scurrying backwards across the filthy floor, I keep cursing him.
Finally the Terran standard comes to me and I scream in pain "you motherless bastard!'
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