[FantasyFantatic]

I have been splitted up with my long term girlfriend (8 years together) because I read too many fantasy books.

She gave me a Ultamatium...fantasy books or her. I choose the former. Did I do right?

Why am I so depressed? She will NOT come back with me again.

She says that I spend all my time after work reading books that I never take her out for meals etc...that caused the end of the relationship.

BUT I cannot give up fantasy books...they are the soul of my life.

Please guys...cheer me up....I think I need a partner who understand me...perhaps someone who also reads books.

[Erebus]

Sorry to hear of your troubles, FF. I guess the simple answer would be compromise, but I know that's not always easy. http://www.sffworld.com/ubb/smile.gif

Anyway, I think the substance of your topic should be discussed further in the General forum, so I'm closing this now and moving it there.

[This message has been edited by erebus (edited August 20, 2001).]

[Erebus]

Okay...now that the transfer's done, welcome to the forum!

As I said, I'm sorry to hear that you broke up because of your committment to fantasy books, though I suspect that perhaps this was only part of your problem. But, if you really did choose reading over a relationship then I guess you made the best choice you could at the time. Unfortunately, we all make choices that we sometimes regret later, and perhaps for you, this is one of those? Personally, I don't think I would ever choose a hobby over someone I truly love, but that's just me; we're all different of course!

Anyway, FF, you'll find plenty of people here happy to discuss fantasy books and authors with you, so I hope that will help fill the void of your missing partner. You may even find that after a break for a little while you might be able to patch up your relationship and reach some sort of compromise. Either way, I wish you well in what ever transpires.

And now, I must take off my Dorothy Dicks cap... http://www.sffworld.com/ubb/smile.gif

[Pyro]

You are obsessed. You need to stop reading so many books and get on with real life. A real girl is worth any amount of fantasy girls. And why do you turn to people you don't know to help you feel better? If you have friends of family, talk to them. People here don't care about your problems. And no, you did NOT do right.

[Cadfael]

Pyro...

People here don't care about your problems.

Even though FantasyFanatic is a new member... you are 100% wrong with that comment... we are all friends here, and give each other support when asked for.

FF... put down the damn book and go make up with your girl... then ask her to read... say... Lord of the Rings, she just may get hooked http://www.sffworld.com/ubb/smile.gif

[Alucard]

I don't know about the lord of the rings. That might just put her to sleep http://www.sffworld.com/ubb/smile.gif......

......and yes, I am just kidding. I don't want to start another tolkien debate. I just couldn't resist.....

[Lady Fox]

Okay, here's my two cents. You were together for 8 years and all she has for a reason for the break-up is your reading habits? Get real - her ultimatum was a control manuver, one of those "prove your love" scenarios. Even if you did neglect her and spend too much time reading books, that's not a very mature response from her. Then again, we only hear your side of the story. Did you and she sit down and talk about this problem, or did you just ignore her complaints? Any successful relationship is a continuous compromise. There are times I would rather just sit at home and read, or play on the computer, or just rest, but if it's really important to my husband for us to do something together I make the time for him. You've got to look at your part in this break-up as well. If it's true love you can overcome your problems if you work at it TOGETHER. Otherwise, it's better to break up now and find someone you have more in common with.

[Lani]

What I think is that a person who would break up with you after 8 years just because you like reading alot doesn't really love you. Or you have huge problems with communicatin there and need to talk everything out and reach a compromise. Basically I agree with Lady Fox.
But anyways, cheer up! There are lots of other girls and some of them like fantasy too http://www.sffworld.com/ubb/smile.gif

[Nyte]

FF, I really can't understand you, or how you can have a relationship for 8 years if all you do is read other than working. Personally I would never give up my g/f for a few books, but on the other hand, I don't read, hehe. Anyways, Luv ya Lani.

[Zsinj16]

I agree with Nyte, FF. I mean, I don't mean to be blunt here, but, what kind of a life would a person have if all they did was just read fantasy books and work. In my opinion, I honestly think it was a wrong move to choose fantasy books over your girlfriend. I mean, I think a man's girlfriend should be the love of his life, and he should be willing to give up anything and everything for her. I, myself, have a girl that I like, and I'm willing to give up everything, even my life for her, if it meant giving up the one thing I love most in the world, I would do it for her.
Take my advice, friend, think about what you've done and decide in your heart if what you have done is right. And if it was wrong, make up with your girl. All the fantasy books in the world aren't worth it when your girl's heart is broken.
Have you ever heard the saying "What worth is it if a man gains the whole world and loses his own soul"? Well, in my opinion I think that applies to a man's girlfriend as well as his soul.

[This message has been edited by Zsinj16 (edited August 20, 2001).]