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September 25th, 2003, 04:13 AM
I've finished my novel about 6 months ago, but havent gotten around to editing it. no, i'm not asking for an editor, i'm asking for opinions. I've become impatient on the piece of my book there is showing up on this site, so I decided to hit the forums. I wish to get many opinions of my book, because I want to publish the thing but I want to make sure its up to par. Unfortunately it can be confusing, which I wish I could change. What I'm asking of you (you being anybody who is interested) is to e-mail me (LLSBackup@hotmail.com) about reading my book. I'll send the first half of it over, and then I hope to read your opinions on this forum. It's a confusing process, I'm sorry, but I need to be able to publish this fast so I can get money for college. I know that publishing isn't easy, but this should at least speed it up even if slightly. Keep in mind it isnt edited. Thank you to all who wish to help.

September 25th, 2003, 04:39 AM
Hello Tasnek,

Feel free to email me the first two chapters juzzza@hotmail.com

There is no 'fast way' to get published mate. Just ask Holbrook. It can take months and even years before you find a publisher or agent who is willing to take you on. Once you have been offered a contract it can take a year or more before your book appears in the book stores.

And as for money, the royalties can take a looooooooong time to start coming through and most authors have to keep their day jobs and that includes great writers like James Barclay.

September 25th, 2003, 04:51 AM
Thank you for your insight about publishing, it is much appreciated. As for only sending two chapters, I don't believe that would be too satisfactory of an amount, for the following reasons. There are three characters in the book. They alternate chapters, and no character has any two of their own chapters in sequence. Not to mention the third character doesn't appear until chapter five. Seeing as I'm unsure about what to send you after what I've said, I will leave it until your next reply to see how many chapters to send you.

Thanks much,

September 25th, 2003, 04:59 AM
Trust me, I will know from one chapter if I would like to read more of your ms.

A publisher will want a few sample chapters to see if you can string words together, if you can build characters and worlds, write dialogue that is believable, if you can 'grab' a reader, if you make them want to read more.

A publisher will not care what is satisfactory for you mate, perhaps that is the first lesson you need to assimilate.

Also, right now with my schedule, two chapters is a stretch for me... Your call. :)

September 25th, 2003, 11:41 AM

I would like to read it.

September 26th, 2003, 06:24 AM
OK Tasnek,

I have read the two chapters you sent me.

I'll be honest mate, because that is the only way to be constructive when it comes to critique.

First of all, you have a very vivid imagination, plenty of ideas floating around in that head of yours. I like the basic premise of the story, I.E. past, present and future time dimensions occupying the same world.

I had no idea how old you were before reading the chapters and did not check your profile until after reading your work. I have to say that I could tell that you are quite young (not patronising you by the way).

I was confused at first as you seem to mix present tense with past tense and first person POV with third person POV, but this seemed to be resolved as the story continued.

You use far too many words and have a habit of 'telling' rather than 'showing'. For example, you don't need to tell the reader that your character thought something AND said it out loud. The fact they said it, means it came to mind... Does that make sense?

Your dialogue was also a little unbelievable, a good example of this is the interaction between Dragon and the Guard.

The whole thing read like an adventure computer game, green herb for healing, collecting gold, needing ID to access the library and so on.

You have a LOT of work to do on polishing your ms if you want to send it off to agents or publishers. You mentioned in your first post that it can be confusing and I must admit that this is true for some aspects of your plot.

The good news is that everything I have picked up on can be worked on, something you can never learn is the creativity and imagination needed to weave a good story and you have that, which makes you very lucky.

Hope that helps


September 26th, 2003, 06:39 AM
Tasnek: With regard to writing, editing, the evil of trying to get published. I can only speak from my own experience.

I would suggest you read the posts of KatG, KATS, NOM and errrr what was the mod's name oh yes Juzzza. ;) All have been published or worked in the publishing industry and know what they are talking about.

From my own bitter memories (lol) I know publishers will at most only want three chapters, often only one, or the first 50 pages of the manuscript. They will keep you waiting months for an answer that can range from You must be joking to It had merit send me the rest Then completely turn round after nine months and say nope....

You need to "grab" the reader within the first 50 pages I have learned. You need to plant the "hooks" deep within those pages so that the reader is tempted to read on. It you don't then you have lost before you have started. No matter how good the book gets later on it will be judged on those first pages and the outline.

One thing I have learned. Don't send it to any one in "rough" draft, unless you are prepared to have your legs knocked from under you. Even polished and edited it can and will get smashed to pieces by someone, who wishes to give you a realistic critique. What sounds and looks wonderful to you, can to other eyes, be crap. You have to lose the ego, egos get in the way, by your third rejection the ego is so flat it is just the stubbornness that keeps you going, keeps you writing.

Putting it bluntly writing is a mugs game. If you want everyone to like you and your work it is seriously not for you, because it can't and won't happen. The best you can hope for is that at least one or two will read it and like it, not because you wrote it, not because they are your friends, because the story was not that bad.

September 26th, 2003, 04:49 PM
Thank you both, juzzza and Holbrook. And as for catching the reader in the first 50 pages, I believe that can be done with my novel, seeing as it has with a few others I let read...and not just friends. I'm still a novice writer with much to learn, and that is why I'm seeking assistance for it. Perhaps, juzzza, if I re-write the first two chapters according to your suggestions, would you read them over again and tell me if I've improved? If so thank you much, if not, still tahnk you for considering it in the first place.

Oh, and juzzza, about your comment on the book sounding almsot like a game, you should remember the name of the book "The Board Game". I actually used to play a game that my friend had made up, and still sometimes do though not as much. This game had so many possibilies and was so original, that I decided to write a book about it...with prior permission from my friend, of course. That is why it may seem like something you'd find in a game at points...and its meant to, slightly. Once it gets more into the book it really unravels. Anyways, thanks again.