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Drew
November 5th, 2003, 09:26 PM
I have put of writing for a good while for many reasons, but I am finally back and ready to write. However, as I stare at the blank page on Microsoft Word, I do not know how to begin. I am thinking that I need to get some help maturing my idea before I can really start writing.

Here is my idea, tell me what you like or don't like. You can be as harsh and honest as possible, I am open to criticism. And if it is a crappy idea, please tell me so as I am still tossing some different ideas around in my head.

A young man, a private detective by trade, awakes as if from a nightmare. He has no recollection of the past few weeks, only fleeting images of people and places he believes he has come in contact with during this time. As he awakens, he finds himself sprawled out on the floor in his apartment with empty pistols in hands. So, he sets off to find out what has been going on during the course of the last few weeks.

The scifi twist? Over the course of the story he learns that he has come in contact with forces from another dimension leaking into his world.

Sounds pretty weak, eh? It's okay, be blunt and honest. I would like to mature this idea a little bit more before I start writing.

Thanks in advance!

milamber_reborn
November 5th, 2003, 10:20 PM
It sounded good until the sci-fi twist. I love that sort of stuff, but I think the story sounds good just as a 'detective lost his memory' story.

Start with a catchy line or a solid but cliched line.



He awoke to the pain in his temples. Someone must have hit him, and hard.

He sat bolt upright, sweat dripping from his brow.

Lifino
November 5th, 2003, 11:16 PM
Originally posted by milamber_reborn


He sat bolt upright, sweat dripping from his brow.


He rubbed his temple and found his hand had the cold steel smell to it. Looking closer CHARACTER NAME could see a diamond pattern pressed into the skin of his fingers...

I'll counter Milamber's comment on the Sci-Fi twist... I think it is a good route to go, if you're going to mix genres. There are plenty of weaker premises than the naturally inquisitive nature of a PI and the totaly sureal happenings of transdimensional beings...

Could be fun.

If you want to share any more details of your idea I'd be happy to act as a sounding board. PM if you want to keep it private.

Rocket Sheep
November 6th, 2003, 02:17 AM
Waking up at the start of a tale is a cliche. You would have to do it SOOOOOOO different or think of another way for him to arrive back in our dimension... like being manhandled thru a door/tunnel that instantly vanishes/turns into the fridge door.

If you are truly stuck on the idea of waking up and wanted to be different, have some odd person or creature shake the guy awake and then vanish out the front door into the street. Him with such a concussion headache, he can't give chase etc.

Start with a bang. Don't you dare do another, "I woke up with a headache and can't remember where I got this gun story"... or I'll hunt you down and bite your kneecaps!

Grrrrrr! (Sheep are really very scary, huh?)

Erebus
November 6th, 2003, 04:22 AM
Originally posted by Rocket Sheep
... or I'll hunt you down and bite your kneecaps!


God I love it when sheep talk dirty like that! :)

Drew, another twist may be to have the mystery unfolding subconsciously perhaps - when he's actually asleep, and just vague memories of what occurs during his waking hours. That way you can keep a specfic/supernatural twist without the need of aliens etc.

Just a suggestion - hope it helps.

Fist
November 6th, 2003, 10:07 AM
I like the sci-fi twist aswell.

Perhaps he's not really a detective from the 20th/21st century, but really something else entirely, like a cyber cop from 2347. He spends most of the book trying to figure what happened over the past few weeks only to discover that he's in a kind of 'holodeck' type thing ala Star trek :-) and that's the sci-fi twist that's revealed at the end.
You can even make him have perceived memories of a childhood and of a life fighting crime as a PI etc....which have been implanted into his brain.

I suck at the sci-fi as you can see but you can come up with the details yourself.

Also the beginning should be a bit more interesting. Maybe he is waking up in hostpital after a 2 month coma, surrounded by his family whom he somehow has memories of. The last thing he remembers is working on some case and being pushed off of a rooftop by an unknown and unseen assailant.

Anyway you get the jist, I'm running away with myself here haha.

juzzza
November 6th, 2003, 10:18 AM
Make it that upon becoming self-aware, it turns out he is just a program running on a machine, just to extend the holodeck idea further, I like that not only is his world not real, but neither is he!!!

Goodman
November 6th, 2003, 01:50 PM
I've had a quick look at other peoples suggestions and I think that your idea, added to the others will make the story good. I'm not going to tell you any more ideas as to what you could do but if your not entirely sure what is going to happen, or how the story unfolds I have a way to help you.
I'm not a fan of big plans, so what I do is I write out parts of the story or ideas. This way you have a basic string of ideas that you can elaborate and change, adding bits in as you go. That way you can sort of connect the scenes. It works for me, as long as you remember to change these scenes as the story evolves rather than the other way around.

Dawnstorm
November 6th, 2003, 02:28 PM
What if transdimensional travel messes with your memory, if you're not properly prepared? Detective could have had to make an emergency dash through a "portal" at the expanse of his memory. You'd have a different situation at the start of the story (instead of a rested, drousy body coming to, you'd have a body full of sweat, adrenaline,perhaps a bit of nausea... and no idea what happened). It could also be a further plot device, later on (if he falls from grace with his "clients" they may be unwilling to supply "memory shields"...).

Ouroboros
November 6th, 2003, 04:34 PM
Sounds a bit like Dark City.