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juzzza
March 17th, 2004, 08:11 AM
FAO Myairyae

Care of: Sword and Barrel Tavern of Hull City.

Dear Mya,

We were delighted to receive your application for our recently advertised vacancy.

I must admit that I thought you had perished on the Scarlet Vengeance. I am pleased you are still alive and must say that your exploits are legendary, and not just your adventuring I might add!

A colleague of mine knew your father very well and if you have some of his heart... And not to mention the Berserker ability of Erik the Half-Hand, I would very much enjoy the opportunity to interview you. Of course your companions are welcome to join you, as you all need to be happy with us as we are to be happy with you.

A message will arrive shortly with a time and place...

All the best

Juzzza
Loveable Rogue Inc.

juzzza
March 17th, 2004, 08:23 AM
Dear Mr Reed,

Thank you for your confusing correspondence.

One of the qualities we are looking for in the right person to fill the vacancy, is the ability to be vague when quizzed about the activities of Loveable Rogue Inc.

I have to say that I am unsure if in your letter, you are actually applying for the job or not... And I like that.

A Gambler is of little use to us however, reading between the lines, the successful applicant should be willing to 'gamble' his life upon joining our quest, if not put his life on the line to fulfil it.

A message will arrive shortly with a time and place... Accept it or not, as the case may be.

And as for your 'services', whilst the offer is tempting, your loyalty is what we are after in the first instance.

Kind regards, and regard these regards how you choose.

Juzzza
Loveable Rogue Inc.

juzzza
March 17th, 2004, 08:35 AM
Dear Tblue,

You may recall that following a disagreement with some fellows in the Pig's Arse Tavern, and after beating them into an apology, you handed me your business card.

I am the gentleman who was discussing a vacancy for an adventurer with you before the above mentioned buffoons, knocked over our drinks.

I am interested in your axe wielding abilities and indeed, a skill with languages is an advantage. I must confess that I have no idea what the rest of your card means, I have never heard of photographs, pencils, animators or traffic cones.

None the less, you have already proven your fighting abilities, as has your little Norse friend and I would like to invite you along for an interview.

A message will arrive shortly with the time and place.

All the best

Juzzza
Loveable Rogue Inc.

P.S. A shame your companion is not interested, his psychic ability would come in handy... How on earth did he know that a Berserker has applied for the position!!!

Richardb
March 17th, 2004, 01:39 PM
Originally posted by juzzza
OK, for a bit of fun...

Flex your creative muscles and pretend that you are applying for the following job vacancy, of course you should be applying as one of your characters or you can make a new one up.

Vacancy ~ Adventurer

We have an exciting and challenging vacancy within our winning team for an adventurer. The successful candidate will be competent with a sword, hold a clean riding licence (horse preferred) and have at least five year's experience in questing.

If you believe you are the right person for the job (loveable rogue inc. believes in equal opportunities), send a letter along with your CV, which highlights your experience and explains why you should be considered for the post.

Dear Sir:
I have the pleasure of being known as Nasim, and I would be most pleased to join in your endeavor. I have been, you see, without employment for some time, and believe I could be just the man you are looking for. You see, my life has been dedicated to the quest for knowledge, and I believe that those skills will easily transfer to what you need. I have studied up on all the relevant texts around swordsmanship, and see no reason I should not be able to put this knowledge to use upon request. I have seen a horse, and even ridden in several cariages, and can't see any reason that I could not ride one. Please see my enclosed CV. I look forward to working with you and your esteamed partners.

Name: Nasim Harsworth III

Current Occupation: Pursuit of self actualization through the ongoing attainment of knowledge.

Carreer Goals: To work as part of a team that provides access to knowledge and respects the quallities of each individual.

Key Skills: Fluency in forty languages, sewing, netotiations, lawn bowling, and I can cook an excellent Orange Trout.

Experience: Seventeen years as a professor of literature, three years as a personal tutor, and two years as a manservant to Lord Assvane.

Education: Attended the School of Ancient History, earning my Masters in History, and earned a Masters in Literary sciences from the Guild of Publishers. Recently earned a certificate in the Theoretical use of Arms and Armament from the local Arms Guild as part of their ongoing lecture series.

Hobbies: Painting, cooking, and teaching the poor and underpriveledged the skills of bathing and cleanliness.

References: Upon Request

JRMurdock
March 17th, 2004, 06:16 PM
"BLARG!"

Willie tore the sign from the wall and chewed it into small bits and spat them on the floor. He then smashed with his battle-axe the tree that held the simple posting.

"I repeat, BLARG!" Wille screamed. "This here job is mine and ya ain't gonna do nuthin' 'bout it. Now all ya sissys can go home and let a real dwarf take this job."

"Braaaaaaap!"

Even Willie was offended by his loud belch. He took a moment to calm himself, then sat on the chair (where'd the chair come from?) and proceeded to comb his red beard. His beard was the only thing about him that was neat. His clothes were torn and soiled, his helmet was dirty and dented and his red hair hung in long dreads. By his beard was clean (I said that, didn't I?) and he wore a jovial face.

"I'm short and stout, a drinking lout," Willie proclaimed. "If'n ya can provide enough Dwarven ale, I'm yer dwarf. I cannot give ya a resume as I've hit my head pretty hard and have forgotten everything except the past couple months. But I've got an axe and I'm not afraid to use it."

Willie got off the chair and reduced it to toothpicks. "Garrrr!"

"Gog smash?" asked a huge ogre-ish fellow.

"Oh, this here's Gog. He likes to smash things with his hands," Willie explained.

"Gog smash!" And Gog pounded his fists into the tree that once held the sign (That tree sure takes a lot of abuse).

"Gog, stop! Not yet, Gog. Later." Willie calmed the beast.

"As I was saying, Gog, well, ya know what he does. He's a half-ogre and he's strong. He only listens to me and he wants to come along as well. So, whadda ya say?"

Willie found a tankard of ale (where'd that come from?) and took a long swing and awaited a reply.

tingmakpuk
March 17th, 2004, 09:07 PM
To Whom It May Concern:

I am in my fourth year of service to Iphazaku. I have nearly six years remaining. During that time, I will put my blades to your good service so long as it honors the name of the God of Vengeance.

Know that when my tour of service has finished, I will return to my homeland to reclaim my place as heir to the Mirshevik Territories. My allegiances will return solely to my father, and one day shall be subject only to my own will. All former allegiances will be null, all friendships lost and all obligations forgotten.

Brugh Mirshevik
Bunk 2, Barracks 39
Order of Iphazaku, Great God of Vengeance
Coastal Brill, Kelisura

EDUCATION:

Order of Iphazaku: Second Adept, 3rd Shock Squad

RELEVANT EMPLOYMENT

Heir to Mirshevik Clan Leadership able to enforce clan rules; able to lead clan warriors into battle; able to defend the honor of the Mirshevik.

SPECIAL SKILLS

Weapons Master of heavy, bladed weapons.

REFERENCES

Elder Priest Pattor Ayanis
7 High Quarters
Order of Iphazaku, Great God of Vengeance
Coastal Brill, Kelisura

High Priest Krissif Mane
131 High Quarters
Order of Iphazaku, Great God of Vengeance
Coastal Brill, Kelisura

First Adept Sahanik Janoh
Bunk 1, Barracks 39
Order of Iphazaku, Great God of Vengeance
Coastal Brill, Kelisura

juzzza
March 18th, 2004, 04:20 AM
Dear Nasim,

Thank you for responding to our recent advert. I regret to inform you that at this time, we will not be inviting you along for an interview.

I once read a book on birds and yet I doubt I could fly if I tried. We need experience, not optimism.

I must admit that it took some time to consider your application, your orange trout sounds fantastic and some of the men would certainly benefit from your advice on bathing and cleanliness.

I have taken the liberty of passing your information to a colleague who may be recruiting learned individuals for clerical and academic work in the near future.

I wish you good luck and you never know, our paths may cross again.

All the best

Kind regards

Juzzza
Loveable Rogue Inc.

juzzza
March 18th, 2004, 04:29 AM
Originally posted by maus99
"BLARG!"

Willie tore the sign from the wall and chewed it into small bits and spat them on the floor. He then smashed with his battle-axe the tree that held the simple posting.

"I repeat, BLARG!" Wille screamed. "This here job is mine and ya ain't gonna do nuthin' 'bout it. Now all ya sissys can go home and let a real dwarf take this job."

"Braaaaaaap!"

Even Willie was offended by his loud belch. He took a moment to calm himself, then sat on the chair (where'd the chair come from?) and proceeded to comb his red beard. His beard was the only thing about him that was neat. His clothes were torn and soiled, his helmet was dirty and dented and his red hair hung in long dreads. By his beard was clean (I said that, didn't I?) and he wore a jovial face.

"I'm short and stout, a drinking lout," Willie proclaimed. "If'n ya can provide enough Dwarven ale, I'm yer dwarf. I cannot give ya a resume as I've hit my head pretty hard and have forgotten everything except the past couple months. But I've got an axe and I'm not afraid to use it."

Willie got off the chair and reduced it to toothpicks. "Garrrr!"

"Gog smash?" asked a huge ogre-ish fellow.

"Oh, this here's Gog. He likes to smash things with his hands," Willie explained.

"Gog smash!" And Gog pounded his fists into the tree that once held the sign (That tree sure takes a lot of abuse).

"Gog, stop! Not yet, Gog. Later." Willie calmed the beast.

"As I was saying, Gog, well, ya know what he does. He's a half-ogre and he's strong. He only listens to me and he wants to come along as well. So, whadda ya say?"

Willie found a tankard of ale (where'd that come from?) and took a long swing and awaited a reply.

"I'm sorry," began Juzzza "I don't have a clue what you are talking about."

Willie grunted, scratched his beard then burped before answering.
"The vacancy man, we were talking about the urp vacancy."
"Sorry my friend, I know nothing about a vancany," said Juzzza.
"What? We were just talking about it weren't we? Um, maybe I hit my head harder than I thought... No! There was a poster on that tree." Willie pointed over Gog's shoulder.
"What tree?" replied Juzzza.
Willie sighed, a troubled look upon his face, but the grin returned as quickly as it had vanished.
"Ah well, no bother, musta been day dreaming again," he said.
"Well," replied Juzzza "How about I refill your cup and we call it quits?"
Willie scowled, "You look familiar," he said.

juzzza
March 18th, 2004, 04:35 AM
Dear Mr Mirshevik,

Thank you for your recent application to accompany Loveable Rogue Inc. on a quest.

Whilst I was very interested in your application, I should point out that the quest we are about to embark on has little if anything, to do with vengeance. As such, I am not sure your God would be best pleased if you used up some of his 'service' time aiding our mission.

If this is not a problem, please feel free to contact me and I would be happy to schedule an interview.

Kind regards

Juzzza
Loveable Rogue Inc.

Sammie
March 18th, 2004, 05:02 AM
To: The Manager, Lovable Rogue Inc.

Re: Vacancy for Adventurer

Dear Sir/Madam

It was with great interest that I read your advert for position of Adventurer, as I believe my many adventuring experiences make me expertly suited to the position you offer.

I have been rescued from a large number of dangerous situations, and even escaped from one or two myself. I am extremely talented at a number of relevant tasks including Encouraging The Other Adventurers To Do Their Very Best In Order To Impress Me, Needing To Be Resuced, Screaming, and Fainting.

I believe I am exactly what you are looking for, and strongly suggest you invite me to your office and see what I can offer, before making a final descision.

I enclose my CV.

Yours expectantly

Sylvia (Professional Heroine)

--------------------------------------------------

Curriculum Vitae:

Name: Sylvia
Age: 21
Current Occupation: sitting in a tower encouraging adventuring princes to climb up and spend the night.

Education:
Fully qualified eater of porridge, tester of furniture, housebreaker, locksmith, wearer of cloaks, visitor of grandmas, needle tester, apple eater, step-mother irritator and seducer of dwarves and princes.

Previous Employment:
Resident irritator of bear families, The Forest. 1992-4
Decoy for the undercover wolf-chopping division of woodsmen, The Forest. 1995-1997
Fairest princess in the land. 1998-9
Asleep but still beautiful. 1999-2002
Selective eliminator of unattractive princes, by the 'letting down hair from tower' method. 2003 to date.

Additional skills:
Expert carriage rider, except when under time constraints. At home in a hovel or a palace. Fits any shoe.