Skilgannon
August 22nd, 2004, 03:22 PM
This is my own little story I've been working on for a while. I'm not really looking for editing (I have several people already), but any feedback would be great. Tell me things you like/dislike.
The call of Oblivion
2198 (3rd year of the Kilsen)
Durinus was ready to pass out as he stared down at his journal he had kept during his work with the excavation crew. Getting up from the padded wooden chair, he walked past his bathroom and into the small kitchen in his hut and opened a cupboard. Digging through the cluttered storage space, he found a bottle of wine he had been saving over the last fifteen years. Placing the bottle on a countertop, Durinus opened a different cupboard and removed a crystal goblet.
Uncorking the bottle, Durinus poured himself a glass of estina red which was informally - though commonly - known as estina fire. Taking a small sip of the wine, Durinus nearly coughed from the burn that accompanied the fine drink. Although he was not much of a drinker, Durinus still loved the sizzling wine.
Tilting his head back in exhaustion, Durinus stared at the domed stone ceiling of his small four room dwelling. His eyes slowly scanned the cracks in the stone as he lost himself in memory. When the promise of riches had driven hordes of people to the untamed soils of Undesia, they had originally attempted to build clay brick houses. The people had learned very quickly that such ungrounded homes could not stand the ravages of the tornados that plagued the young city.
As a solution, many small homes were dug into the side of the mountain that stood as a silent guardian of Undesia. As the population grew higher, so did the dwellings. Now the sight of dwellings was one to behold. A full twelve stories of dug in homes scaled the mountain, each story being ten homes across. Durinus was lucky enough to have gotten one on the third floor, since the higher up someone’s dwelling was, the more ladders they had to climb. Even with the advancement of housing, there was simply not enough of the mountain to build into. So, as a result many were forced to find other forms of housing, some even digging their dwellings underground.
Moving to his door, Durinus stood and simply gazed at the night sky as he had done so often in his time in Undesia. As his experienced eyes put together the constellations, his gaze inevitably shifted to the three moons that orbited the planet Krysion. The third moon, Rysin, had caused a major panic when it had simply appeared one night six years ago. The moon had been named Rysin because in the language of the ancients, Rysin translated to Demon star. The people were quick to fear the new satellite of Krysion, despite the lack of change to the world. Somehow the new moon did not affect the currents in the least. Currently people still did not know what to make of the demon star.
Tearing his gaze from the haunting moons, Durinus looked down the ladder to see Eitha climbing up the ladder, heading toward his dwelling. He was hit by a wave of sadness that had become all too common to the tall priest. Over the six years Eitha had been in Undesia, her love for him had grown, as had his for her, but because of his vow of celibacy, he could not allow himself to openly express that love. Slowly he made his way back into the kitchen and sat at one of his two hardwood chairs.
“No one should ever drink wine alone,” an expected voice rang out.
“Please join me,” Durinus said without moving his head, bidding her to sit in the other chair with a wave of his hand.
Durinus sat in silence looking at her, drinking in her beauty. Eitha was the most beautiful woman in all of Undesia. Her form was as perfect as any woman could ever have, not too plain, not overly curved. When she smiled, a beautiful innocence melted any ill feelings, as though the rough and ferocious world touched her soul not at all. There was happiness in that smile for Durinus, but also an undercurrent of pain that only those who had ever been restricted by unbreakable chains of honor could know. Her girlish charm served as an unneeded burden on Durinus’ soul, every day reminding him of what isn’t.
“Don’t nights like these make you wish the stars would remain forever simply so you will gaze upon them?” Eitha asked, her deep blue eyes shining in the candlelight.
“I find that those who stare at the sky and dream miss on what is all around them,” Durinus whispered, the subtle message behind those words lost on the dazzled woman.
“But if I could delay what will happen come dawn I would gaze upon the magnificent sky for all my years,” She said, a look of sadness descending over her beautiful face as she began to think about things to come.
“The sun does not wait for the rooster, and the star studded blanket of night does not freeze for onlookers,” Durinus answered, picking up on her meaning.
“Why can’t you leave the priesthood?” Eitha asked, painfully direct as always.
“We have been over this, I am part of the Faith of the Reborn, I can not just decide to cast out my faith; it’s my life. Ever since I was six I was trained as a priest. Believe me when I say that I love you, but you must understand that I am a man of dedication. I will not abandon that which I believe in,” Durinus pressed, trying to fight the sorrow that was seeping into his voice.
“You have not received orders from the church in two years; they’ve forgotten you exist,” Eitha reasoned, desperately wanting to be with Durinus.
“The central church sent me to this excavation fifteen years ago because of the flow of people waiting to be converted to the true faith as much as to find out about the technology being found here. If the church has forgotten me, then that is acceptable, for the reborn has not turned his back on me. I will return to Cindomen, ride up to the central church in all of it’s majesty, and forgotten or not, I will complete my duty by submitting my journal of the past fifteen years,” Durinus explained, handing her a glass of the fiery wine while sipping on his own, knowing it was all he could do from reaching out and embracing the lovely woman.
“Why do you have to be so difficult? We could be happy together as husband and wife. Even after completing your assignment here, you won’t leave the priesthood, will you?” Eitha whispered in dread, her glass leaning enough for a single red droplet to fall to the stone floor.
“I’m sorry, I hate myself for causing your pain, but it was never my intent. The priest hood is my life, to simply abandon it would make twenty five years of my life a complete waste,” Durinus said sadly, knowing that the values he relied so heavily on were being put to the test against no foe but against his inner desires.
“Your intent can go straight to hell! You have the whole world waiting for you and all you can do is hide in what you already know, you coward!” Eitha screamed, throwing her glass across the room and running to the ladder outside the door crying.
With a heavy heart Durinus knelt and began to pick up the shattered pieces of the goblet. Staring down at a large piece of the shattered glass, he saw his face mirrored in the crystal fragment.
He was considered handsome by most, his facial features all in perfect harmony, his skin smooth. He was tall, but had a small build. Durinus’ ensnaring feature was his pair of compassionate green eyes.
Picking up the last of the shattered goblet, Durinus placed the remains on the counter top and left his room to go on a night walk.
When he had arrived in the ancient city of Undesia, it had been only been a small community, but even then people were beginning to pour into the city, excited by the promise of riches from the ancient technology. Now the small village was the second most populated city after Cindomen.
Over the last fifteen years, so much ancient technology had been uncovered and many of the artifacts were studied and now used in every day life including, running water (though it was rare due to lack of pipes), electricity (though that was also rare), and some forms of transportation. Durinus owned one such vehicle. He had been working among the diggers and had hit something solid. After a great deal of excitement and effort, they had uncovered a two wheeled machine he had been told by a scholar was called a motorcycle. That had been in the early days where anything a person found, the person got to keep for himself. After fights had erupted over uncovered items, a central form of control had been established. Now the rich members of the control counsel keep everything while all the workers are paid handsome wages.
Sitting down on top of a cliff, Durinus looked down upon the spiraling tower of a partially uncovered building. How much of it remained underground was anyone’s guess. Yet, even though little about the building was certain, Durinus knew that the building would one day be fully uncovered. To the left of the building, at a different dig site, torches were being lit for the night shift.
Standing back up and dusting himself off, Durinus began to walk back toward his house so he could get ready to go north, back home after fifteen years the next day.
The call of Oblivion
2198 (3rd year of the Kilsen)
Durinus was ready to pass out as he stared down at his journal he had kept during his work with the excavation crew. Getting up from the padded wooden chair, he walked past his bathroom and into the small kitchen in his hut and opened a cupboard. Digging through the cluttered storage space, he found a bottle of wine he had been saving over the last fifteen years. Placing the bottle on a countertop, Durinus opened a different cupboard and removed a crystal goblet.
Uncorking the bottle, Durinus poured himself a glass of estina red which was informally - though commonly - known as estina fire. Taking a small sip of the wine, Durinus nearly coughed from the burn that accompanied the fine drink. Although he was not much of a drinker, Durinus still loved the sizzling wine.
Tilting his head back in exhaustion, Durinus stared at the domed stone ceiling of his small four room dwelling. His eyes slowly scanned the cracks in the stone as he lost himself in memory. When the promise of riches had driven hordes of people to the untamed soils of Undesia, they had originally attempted to build clay brick houses. The people had learned very quickly that such ungrounded homes could not stand the ravages of the tornados that plagued the young city.
As a solution, many small homes were dug into the side of the mountain that stood as a silent guardian of Undesia. As the population grew higher, so did the dwellings. Now the sight of dwellings was one to behold. A full twelve stories of dug in homes scaled the mountain, each story being ten homes across. Durinus was lucky enough to have gotten one on the third floor, since the higher up someone’s dwelling was, the more ladders they had to climb. Even with the advancement of housing, there was simply not enough of the mountain to build into. So, as a result many were forced to find other forms of housing, some even digging their dwellings underground.
Moving to his door, Durinus stood and simply gazed at the night sky as he had done so often in his time in Undesia. As his experienced eyes put together the constellations, his gaze inevitably shifted to the three moons that orbited the planet Krysion. The third moon, Rysin, had caused a major panic when it had simply appeared one night six years ago. The moon had been named Rysin because in the language of the ancients, Rysin translated to Demon star. The people were quick to fear the new satellite of Krysion, despite the lack of change to the world. Somehow the new moon did not affect the currents in the least. Currently people still did not know what to make of the demon star.
Tearing his gaze from the haunting moons, Durinus looked down the ladder to see Eitha climbing up the ladder, heading toward his dwelling. He was hit by a wave of sadness that had become all too common to the tall priest. Over the six years Eitha had been in Undesia, her love for him had grown, as had his for her, but because of his vow of celibacy, he could not allow himself to openly express that love. Slowly he made his way back into the kitchen and sat at one of his two hardwood chairs.
“No one should ever drink wine alone,” an expected voice rang out.
“Please join me,” Durinus said without moving his head, bidding her to sit in the other chair with a wave of his hand.
Durinus sat in silence looking at her, drinking in her beauty. Eitha was the most beautiful woman in all of Undesia. Her form was as perfect as any woman could ever have, not too plain, not overly curved. When she smiled, a beautiful innocence melted any ill feelings, as though the rough and ferocious world touched her soul not at all. There was happiness in that smile for Durinus, but also an undercurrent of pain that only those who had ever been restricted by unbreakable chains of honor could know. Her girlish charm served as an unneeded burden on Durinus’ soul, every day reminding him of what isn’t.
“Don’t nights like these make you wish the stars would remain forever simply so you will gaze upon them?” Eitha asked, her deep blue eyes shining in the candlelight.
“I find that those who stare at the sky and dream miss on what is all around them,” Durinus whispered, the subtle message behind those words lost on the dazzled woman.
“But if I could delay what will happen come dawn I would gaze upon the magnificent sky for all my years,” She said, a look of sadness descending over her beautiful face as she began to think about things to come.
“The sun does not wait for the rooster, and the star studded blanket of night does not freeze for onlookers,” Durinus answered, picking up on her meaning.
“Why can’t you leave the priesthood?” Eitha asked, painfully direct as always.
“We have been over this, I am part of the Faith of the Reborn, I can not just decide to cast out my faith; it’s my life. Ever since I was six I was trained as a priest. Believe me when I say that I love you, but you must understand that I am a man of dedication. I will not abandon that which I believe in,” Durinus pressed, trying to fight the sorrow that was seeping into his voice.
“You have not received orders from the church in two years; they’ve forgotten you exist,” Eitha reasoned, desperately wanting to be with Durinus.
“The central church sent me to this excavation fifteen years ago because of the flow of people waiting to be converted to the true faith as much as to find out about the technology being found here. If the church has forgotten me, then that is acceptable, for the reborn has not turned his back on me. I will return to Cindomen, ride up to the central church in all of it’s majesty, and forgotten or not, I will complete my duty by submitting my journal of the past fifteen years,” Durinus explained, handing her a glass of the fiery wine while sipping on his own, knowing it was all he could do from reaching out and embracing the lovely woman.
“Why do you have to be so difficult? We could be happy together as husband and wife. Even after completing your assignment here, you won’t leave the priesthood, will you?” Eitha whispered in dread, her glass leaning enough for a single red droplet to fall to the stone floor.
“I’m sorry, I hate myself for causing your pain, but it was never my intent. The priest hood is my life, to simply abandon it would make twenty five years of my life a complete waste,” Durinus said sadly, knowing that the values he relied so heavily on were being put to the test against no foe but against his inner desires.
“Your intent can go straight to hell! You have the whole world waiting for you and all you can do is hide in what you already know, you coward!” Eitha screamed, throwing her glass across the room and running to the ladder outside the door crying.
With a heavy heart Durinus knelt and began to pick up the shattered pieces of the goblet. Staring down at a large piece of the shattered glass, he saw his face mirrored in the crystal fragment.
He was considered handsome by most, his facial features all in perfect harmony, his skin smooth. He was tall, but had a small build. Durinus’ ensnaring feature was his pair of compassionate green eyes.
Picking up the last of the shattered goblet, Durinus placed the remains on the counter top and left his room to go on a night walk.
When he had arrived in the ancient city of Undesia, it had been only been a small community, but even then people were beginning to pour into the city, excited by the promise of riches from the ancient technology. Now the small village was the second most populated city after Cindomen.
Over the last fifteen years, so much ancient technology had been uncovered and many of the artifacts were studied and now used in every day life including, running water (though it was rare due to lack of pipes), electricity (though that was also rare), and some forms of transportation. Durinus owned one such vehicle. He had been working among the diggers and had hit something solid. After a great deal of excitement and effort, they had uncovered a two wheeled machine he had been told by a scholar was called a motorcycle. That had been in the early days where anything a person found, the person got to keep for himself. After fights had erupted over uncovered items, a central form of control had been established. Now the rich members of the control counsel keep everything while all the workers are paid handsome wages.
Sitting down on top of a cliff, Durinus looked down upon the spiraling tower of a partially uncovered building. How much of it remained underground was anyone’s guess. Yet, even though little about the building was certain, Durinus knew that the building would one day be fully uncovered. To the left of the building, at a different dig site, torches were being lit for the night shift.
Standing back up and dusting himself off, Durinus began to walk back toward his house so he could get ready to go north, back home after fifteen years the next day.