PDA

View Full Version : So Many of He


SFFWorld.com
Home - Discussion Forums - News - Reviews - Interviews

New reviews, interviews and news

New in the Discussion Forum


SubZero61992
October 29th, 2004, 06:01 AM
I just finished a chapter and while re-reading it I noticed I had used He ten times straigth down the side of the paper.

Is this something that I need to change, or is it okay.

He
He
He
He
He
He
He
He
He
He

juzzza
October 29th, 2004, 06:09 AM
Does 'He' have a name? Use it.

SubZero61992
October 29th, 2004, 06:12 AM
Heh, alright, I'll write it on the rough draft.

Holbrook
October 29th, 2004, 06:17 AM
A small tip I was given, try and avoid starting each paragraph with the same word. It is surprising how many times it happens when you are working on a draft. It draws the reader's eye and makes the work look stilted.

Like Juzzza said use his name, turn the sentence around in some way. Once you have the scene down the hard work of editing begins. And it is hard work, it is boring and drives you insane, but it necessary.

SubZero61992
October 29th, 2004, 06:18 AM
Okay.
Thanks for the help.

TheEarCollector
October 29th, 2004, 11:41 AM
Vary sentence structure so you aren't starting with a noun...
Even if you aren't saying "he" specifically, it still gets very old to read the same repetitive sentnece structure.

Chris G.
November 6th, 2004, 09:14 PM
i find that beginning with dilogue helps to cut down on the repetition.