View Full Version : "On the Brevity of Behemoths"
March 24th, 2002, 02:41 PM
I have recently read Mr. Rieser's article concerning the true giants of the silver screen... theses are my thoughts... first off...
where do you go with a character that weighs 50 tons, but has the brain the size of a penut? Well, one of two directions... you try to weave a story, about why we should care at all for this monster, give him dimensions and make them believable against the grain of improbability...
I will admit that King Kong has pulled this off better than most, but to me, I still find little that I can relate to a giant lovesick gorilla...
Second direction you head in, is the all powerful, all destroying, feel the wrath of my fire breath avenger from beyond... Hollywood offered a plethora of these in the fifties... but none would have the style and attitude of the mighty Godzilla.
When you think of it, Godzilla emerged post hiroshima... Godzilla WAS the atomic bomb!
He represented a country full of pride, who had suffered incredible defeat, and the way they dealt with it. What is even more facsinating... where else can you have a being who reeks so much havoc, be the hero?
People ROOT for Godzilla, he's not the villain, he stomps on buildings, causes apocoliptic tidal waves, tallies up worlds more destruction that Osama could ever dream of, and yet the audiance cries GO GODZILLA GO!!
Shrink Godzilla to man size, give him a hatchet and slap a hocky mask on him, and whattaya got? Jason Voorhees! The formula is simply impeccable, (if not redundant)
So, in the battle of the beasts... I have to give the crown to Godzilla, who has stood the test of time with over 30? 40? films... and still manages to find cities that he has yet to demolish.
March 26th, 2002, 06:25 PM
First of all, the music to Godzilla was awful, whereas Max Steiner has won Academy Awards after Kong. Second, the lizard would have eaten Fay Wray whereas Kong merely wanted to seduce her which is much more appropriate considering her costume. Third, Kong was graceful and a scrapper whereas zilla was little more than a klutz with bad breath. Fourth, Kong, though large, was at least fuzzy whereas Godz had absolutely nothing lovable about him to cling to. Fifth, on his island, Kong inspired hero worship and the natives sacrificed to him whereas zilbo is about as inspirational and thought provoking as a giant eft running amok. Finally, Kong died fighting in style where the lizard had to be stomped by the same nuclear weapons that created him.
March 26th, 2002, 08:33 PM
Ok, I agree with you on one point only... Japanese music has always been horible...
But, really, I put no stock in who the Acadamy decides to be their object of praise, it's the most biased and fascist organization on the planet. And perhaps Fay Wray was stunning in her time, but bestiality isn't exactly my choice theme for a movie... I don't know what is so "graceful" about 1930's stop-motion claymation, the original King Kong was about as charming as Homer Simpson coming off of crack in a detox clinic...
Furthermore, having two Bearded Dragons, and a five foot long Iguana that sleeps in my bed, I find reptiles quite adoring and beautiful... and while King Kong was "fictionally" portrayed as an object of worship by native islanders, Godzilla fanfare is worldwide in reality! He's everywhere! From lunch boxes to action figures to toilet seats he is probably second in paraphernalia only to KISS.
Quite frankly, I wouldn't even put Kong as second in the top line of brutes... second place would have to go a giant city walking monster that perhaps has had the shortest role of them all... I speak of the one and only Stay Puft Marsh mallow Man from Ghostbusters. Now there was a behemoth in all his magnificant brevity.
March 26th, 2002, 11:10 PM
Did Godzilla fight Kong in a movie once?
If so who won?
Lets not forget about Mothrra
March 27th, 2002, 12:02 AM
An answer to that can be found here:
March 27th, 2002, 07:07 AM
No wonder you worship Godzilla. You sleep with lizards and find them attractive. I have never personally been enamored with scales, claws, fiery breath, exceptionally expanded tails or sharp teeth, though I once spent an intriguing 15 minutes in the back of a '57 T-Bird with a lot lizard. Somehow, I don't think it equates with your being mesmerized by sunflower seed sized charm, but I refuse to be chauvinistic about it. If you want to have a relationship with something that the rest of the world tries to stuff down their toilets, by all means, enjoy yourself, but I'll take a furball any day. At least I won't have to sift through eggs for potential progeny.
March 27th, 2002, 10:59 AM
Five reasons why reptiles are better than monkeys:
1. Monkeys smell like... well, like monkeys! While reptiles are odorless.
2. Monkeys like to throw their feces at you, Whlile reptiles are naturally potty trained. (It's true! put them in water and they go without hesitation, also... they instinctively go in the same place everyday, even without the aid of water.)
3. Monkeys make loud and annoying noises, (hence the term, "quit acting like a monkey") While reptiles are silent and calm. (unless you get one too upset.)
4. Like dogs and cats, monkeys can be mindless men pleasers, while you have to actually work for a reptiles affection. (a sure sign of intelligence)
5. A Komoto Dragon will eat a monkey.
March 27th, 2002, 05:23 PM
Five reasons while monkeys are better than slimy lizards!
1. Monkeys leave furballs; lizards shed their skin.
2. Monkey **** fertilizes gardens; lizard droppings dissolve marble.
3. Monkeys are happy, communal creatures;
lizards are miserable loners.
4. Monkeys can beat lizards at chess and pinochle, run faster, swing through trees and participate in chorus. Lizards are dull and can be paralyzed by a chalk line.
5. Kong has lizards for appetizers. Godzilla eats his own kind.
March 28th, 2002, 06:42 PM
Very well... now that we've established the pros and cons about either species... lets multiply them by the thousands and rate them on behemoth scale:
Monkey stentch: Imagine a sewage facility that came to YOU, and then crushed your house.
Lizard's shed skin: So now the price of alligator boots and purses goes down dramaticly, whats the big deal?
Feces throwing issue: Yikes!
Lizard loners: That's why Godzilla goes and sleeps in the ocean for a few years and then strolls back out to destroy the city, while fighting a brand new enemy... while King Kong only dies repeatedly in dull re-makes
I could go on... but I feel I've made my point.
March 29th, 2002, 07:50 PM
Okay... I think this is the weirdest thread I've read between two forum-ites.
*leaves room shaking his head*
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.1 Copyright © 2013 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.