Makes me shudder a bit, the structure and grammar, but I still like the story.
I like the community, it seems like a good place to put work you want comments on but also stuff that was published.
February 8th, 2005, 11:43 AM
Hey cool! Did I see an early draft of this, or did we just talk about it? I remember the terminator stuff, but the rest is all new!! I can see why this one got published - very polished, well paced. Not quite a 'JT' twist though?! *looks shocked* And although I liked the questions it raised I felt the end was maybe a little too open/obscure/unexplained. Not sure. Did you have a 'reason' for this in mind when you wrote it, or was it just a total 'what if' ? :)
February 8th, 2005, 11:48 AM
It is one of the first shorts I completed, and I had not yet developed the JT twist ;)
I had nothing in mind as I was writing it, just a desire to write a weird story with pop-culture or rather 'movie' references. I liked the idea of someone being so sure they were right, only to have that challenged, then their whole belief system of what is 'normal' challenged too.
I think I had been watching too many 'tales of the unexpected' or 'twighlight zone' as they tend to leave their ending very obscure and open. I know what you mean though, there is no resolution as such but I liked that despite the odds, the main character was going to adapt and get on with his new life.
February 8th, 2005, 12:14 PM
Oh yes, there is definitely resolution for the character.....just maybe not for ME! :D
But then, that's often good scifi down to a T....
February 8th, 2005, 02:33 PM
I actually like the ending.
(Wondering: If the story was upside down; starts out weird and then, you know... [*avoids spoilers*] - though this would work better in film than in writing. Would that bring more of a closure? Leave off with a simple ambiguity? This isn't a suggestion for a change, just a thought experiment.)
February 9th, 2005, 09:04 AM
That is actually a really cool idea! Leaves you with the thought that there is /could be someone living in our world who doesn't belong here, is from somewhere subtly different. Could really work. Might be hard getting the differences across in the first instance, though...
February 9th, 2005, 10:45 AM
That is cool, I do like the idea of a person living under different rules who then has to conform to our own, I agree with DS, that a movie would probably be a better medium for it.
Apologies to lurkers who have NO CLUE what we are talking about :D
February 9th, 2005, 12:32 PM
Don't apologise! If they want to know, all they have to do is read the story! :D
February 25th, 2005, 10:00 AM
Surreal LOL! This will only make sense if you've read this story.
I was just in Marks & Spencers buying some food.
So I go to the check-out and the people in front of me are French. No problem. Turns out the check-out girls is also French, I actually enjoy listening to the exchange, trying to understand the conversation.
Then a middle aged woman queues behind me with her son... French!!!
So I start getting a little paranoid and scan through the things in my basket to make sure they're still called butter and coffee!!!
February 25th, 2005, 03:07 PM
As I'm typing this I'm being seduced by an evil pack of crisps. Only on the pack it says "Chips"...