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Leo
February 17th, 2005, 05:38 PM
i been working on the story Guardians of power for eight Years and i want to know if i am doing a good job. now i do realise that it has gramatical problems. so just say your thoughts :)

SubZero61992
February 18th, 2005, 03:10 PM
I am assuming you submitted it here so I will go check it out.

Leo
February 18th, 2005, 05:32 PM
yes i want to know if its good because i believe that a writer has to listen to his readers in order to tweek his skills

Zanzibar
March 1st, 2005, 11:29 AM
Well, being young and arrogant and new to the website I don't know how much help I can be. Your story is certainly interesting, though I haven't yet finished reading it. One suggestion I would make would be to seperate the writing into paragraphs via the enter key. White space created by indentations are ignored by the website. I realize this is a monumental task (56 pages of tedium :) ) but it makes reading the story a lot easier.

Anywho, continue on. I like it.

tooeviltoknow
March 2nd, 2005, 01:53 AM
Another thing that you could do, Leo, is try breaking the story into smaller sub-chapters. That way we our critiques could pinpoint the errors or highlight a section that we personally like. Oh and try and post it on other websites, too (Elfwood.com, the only problem with that one is that it's all formated in html). The first part of your story is about 33 pages on this website, while the second part is about um... 23 three pages. Try breaking the first part into five chapters and the second one into another four or five chapter, then we'll see what happens.

tooeviltoknow
March 2nd, 2005, 02:21 AM
Ok one last thing before I go. Can someone please tell me how to post a new thread. Computers and me do not mix. I need some enlightenmet, lol.

Zanzibar
March 2nd, 2005, 10:08 AM
Head back to the list of posts as it is displayed in the category (in this case, Writing). The Post Thread button will be at the bottom of the list, where the Post Reply button was for Leo's thread.

Leo
March 2nd, 2005, 02:38 PM
Another thing that you could do, Leo, is try breaking the story into smaller sub-chapters. That way we our critiques could pinpoint the errors or highlight a section that we personally like. Oh and try and post it on other websites, too (Elfwood.com, the only problem with that one is that it's all formated in html). The first part of your story is about 33 pages on this website, while the second part is about um... 23 three pages. Try breaking the first part into five chapters and the second one into another four or five chapter, then we'll see what happens.


Thank you for the help i will do my best and will deal with the problem quickly

tooeviltoknow
March 2nd, 2005, 06:00 PM
No problem, Leo. But now I have to ask a favor from you. Go to this website and check it out, I need some feedback on what to do next. Part 2 is somewhere around the community homepage.

http://sffworld.com/community/story/255p0.html

Leo
March 3rd, 2005, 05:38 PM
No problem, Leo. But now I have to ask a favor from you. Go to this website and check it out, I need some feedback on what to do next. Part 2 is somewhere around the community homepage.

http://sffworld.com/community/story/255p0.html


the story is great all it needs is fine tuning and would really appreciate it fi you could help me out in developing my story.