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March 6th, 2005, 10:05 PM
I have been doing a lot of worldbuilding with my recent project, actually focusing entirely on the society that the story is based in and ignoring the story (which I had a basic framework for) and in developing the history of these people I came up with a whole other story.

So let me give a quick overview of how these stories start, and you tell me which story you would rather read.

Nomads wander the desert, herding their animals, trading with other nomad tribes, and generally just being nomads. Because their are their own self-sufficient way of life, they also have laws, and the worst punishment is to be exiled in the desert because without the rest of the clan you will supposedly die. For his crimes, the character is banished but instead of losing hope and dying he decides to prey on his former clan. He ambushes members, kills members, gets others to join him, and ends up rivalling the clan. The story proceeds from there...

The story takes place after the first story. There are basically three groups of people, the raiders (started by the character of the first story), the city dwellers (which move into the deserts after, or perhaps during, the first story), and the nomads which now act as traders and escorts between the cities. The character comes from a family in a escort family and ends up causing some mischief which is blown out of proportion by the judicial body. He is exiled and join the raiders. The story proceeds from there...

Now that you have the setup for both stories, which one fascinates you more? Discuss.

March 6th, 2005, 10:19 PM
They both sound interesting, I would say... merge them into one story, lol. The first character was banned from his tribe because of what he did, the second character is banned at the same time. Both needs to survive so they joined force but later on their ethnics clashed and they split up, both hating each other for so and so reason (a woman, maybe).

P.S. Try reading "The Art of War" by Sun Tzu, this book gives you insights on tactics and what not when dealing with war,*shruggs,* it might help.

March 6th, 2005, 11:30 PM
Read it, and done the military thing too ;) Still doing the military thing actually (I need to PT myself for training this summer 8( )

March 6th, 2005, 11:39 PM
Get the (insert rude comment ) out of here! What are you, army, navy, marine, or coast guard? What's your MOS? I'm a 13S reclassing to a 92Y.

March 7th, 2005, 02:08 AM
I would tend to agree with 2evil, Combine the Ideas and tell a double tale

March 7th, 2005, 10:03 AM
...For his crimes, the character is banished but instead of losing hope and dying he decides to prey on his former clan. He ambushes members, kills members, gets others to join him, and ends up rivalling the clan. The story proceeds from there...

He gets banished and decides to turn on his former tribe? And even though he's killing members of the trible other members are joining him?

Just what was his crime?

March 7th, 2005, 10:34 AM
I don't know what his crime was... and after stopping and thinking about it last night, I came up with a new scenario.

The guy in #1 is just up to antics too and they go too far in the judgement, so he wasn't REALLY wrong. Then he gets angry (instead of my more colorful language) and takes it out on the clan.

Anyways, I guess it is really more of which time period are you more interested in? I basically came up with a timeline and here is how it worked:

-Nomads wandering do their trading and what not, it's peaceful
-Can splinters into two groups when one guy gets banished injustly
-New clan ambushes trade routes (which are ever-changing)
-Nomads are forced to become more militaristic, and eventually start escorting traders from the coastal cities instead of doing the trading themselves
-As nomads fight more, they try to push the new clan inwards, and the coastal settlers try to push in behind them
-Nomads eventually become so closely knit with the settlers that they are seen as a religious sect more than their own culture
-Cultures blend - you have the new clan (most nomadic), the old clan (a cross between the two others) and the settlers (sedentary miner types)

So... my question was really tell the story where the clan splinters, or tell the story where the settlers are pushing inland and the cultures have already blended?

As for the military thing, was a Navy E-1, went to Naval Academy Prep School, now doing Marine PLC to go to TBS to be a 3111 (Infantry Officer, hope I got the MOS code right.... I remember infantrymen are 0311)

*And technically I am in the Army as a cadet because it lets me wear camo and play with guns during the school year since PLC is only during the summers.

March 7th, 2005, 11:46 AM
The guy in #1 is just up to antics too and they go too far in the judgement, so he wasn't REALLY wrong. Then he gets angry (instead of my more colorful language) and takes it out on the clan.

Nah... don't compromise if you want my advice. If this is the type of guy who resorts to picking off his mates when they punish him, do NOT be afraid to walk down the full Bastard Avenue! I'd make it a serious crime if I were you; explore the dark side. There are a lot of "anti-heroes" in speculative literature today who are either somewhat misunderstood or just slightly uncouth.

Few have the courage to pursue a character whose moral flaws outweigh his good qualities (and he has to have some of each (and, Hell, some in the middle) to be fully 3D). If you do choose this route you'll also want to avoid isolating your readers from him; give him the flaws and vulnerability that endear audiences.

As for the question of the two seperate stories; I know what that's like, when you're developing a world you can't help but think about all the books you're going to write within it. Well, I have an idea for you, free of charge;

Mesh the two together; Past and present. Alternate between the two timelines, perhaps a chapter for each, and present two versions of your world in one book! Over time, the sense of culture and history would increase as you learn the origins of customs in the future timeline, and learn things the people of the past timeline aren't sophisticated enough to discover.

Parallels could be drawn between the two leads as, worlds apart, they have their descent into darkness in common. Perhaps, and this is jumping the gun a bit, you could end with the downfall of the Founder character as a result of his corruption, and the moral epiphany of the Initiate, who goes on to mould the Raiders into a positive force?

On that line of thought, perhaps the downfall of the #1 lead can be covered up and wrapped in legend by the time the future timeline comes about, and the #2 lead discovers these legends are lies (bringing about the epiphany and the discrediting of the Raiders).

Phew. :rolleyes: Hell, if you don't do it maybe I will...

Say, what happened to the lone wanderer type project you brought up TheEarCollector?

March 7th, 2005, 02:53 PM
Well what you are saying about making him a bastard, I am leaning towards that is what society makes him. I really didn't know where that one was going but here is how the later story was pictured in my head (what I had).

Kid and friends do some stupid stuff, stupid stuff starts growing in scale to where they are actually committing minor crimes, but never really harming anyone or doing things maliciously, just having a good time. They get caught and the sytem basically outcasts them and claims they are horrible people and terrorists because of their actions, and they are all exiled. They aren't bad people, but once they are banished they start getting angry about what happened, and about being called terrorists when they really didn't do anything, and they turn on their clan and decide they are going to start attacking the trade caravans as a means of survival (seeing as how the deserts are very barren). This is when the story got fuzzy in my head and I decided I would let it go wherever it went.

So, it really does end up exploring the dark side, but not because he is just an bastard. It's because he is an bastard who gets betrayed ;)
I was thinking about keeping the same story because I liked where it was going, but then as I developed the world and had these two areas with really interesting stories to tell, I kind of got lost in which one I wanted to tell.

March 7th, 2005, 02:56 PM
What do you mean by the "lone wanderer" project? If you are referring to that travelling long distances alone it's kind of an offshoot of this project where the friends that are in on the final incident end up betraying him by throwing blame at him, and then when he tells the truth the tribunal decides he is guilty and casts him out. Just clarify what you meant by lone wanderer and I will try to clear that up ;)