View Full Version : Is this language too confusing?
March 10th, 2005, 07:44 PM
For my Gargoyles some of their words are spelt backwards from normal English, I only do it to words that are clearly translatable.
I want to know if any of these lines confuse you. I will make a BIBLE for my story to explain to future readers that if they have trouble with some of the words to just turn them around.
When my main character talks to the main Gargoyle he speaks normal English however.
These are exact quotes from my current story:
"Os where heav you bene? "
" Yuonglings, coem back tomorrow."
" Wollef Gargoyles, etinu! Etulas!"
" This si Ryu, nos fo eth true Dragon King."
" Teiuq nowd! He tnaw to see ruo army!
March 10th, 2005, 07:51 PM
Ótnën adbén útben aybemë óuyén hóuldsë ëärnlú ómesú 'pig latin'.
Just remember a little goes a long way. Don't hold long conversations in your language, the reader will get confused and upset.
March 10th, 2005, 07:54 PM
Do the just rearrange the letters in pig latin?
March 10th, 2005, 08:04 PM
Yes. You can learn how to do pig latin here (http://www.phantomstudent.com/piglatin.html).
March 10th, 2005, 08:05 PM
Pig Latin takes the first sound and places it at the endof the word and then adds -AY
So Pig Latin becomes igP-ay Atlinl-ay.
Sub Zero becomes ubsay erozay.
I am a little confused as to what you are trying to accomplish here. Are the Gargoyles simply speaking normal english words backwards or is there something different. I am asking because some of your lines don't seem to fit that. Specifically, "heav and "bene" and "coem". I guess it is confusing for me as the reversed letter in these cases is a silent "e". In the reversed words, are the "e"s now pronounced.
Similarly "unite" backwards is "etinu" but phonetically would be "tinue".
March 10th, 2005, 10:00 PM
SubZero, I can't speak for every potential reader, but your gargoyle language would drive me crazy. It wouldn't be worthwhile to take the time to decipher it, and if you think it would be worth it, well, you're wrong. Don't distract your readers from your story with puzzles of dubious value.
If you want to show a character who speaks differently, then there are other things you can do with their dialogue. Simpler words, short simpler sentences, misunderstandings in tone, that kind of thing. If you do it right, you can establish that a character is different linguistically without unduly annoying the reader.
March 11th, 2005, 05:08 AM
I will most likely change the ones with switched letters.
The only thing is, the Gargoyles do not speak much, and the only Gargoyle who has spoken in conversations is the main one, Oining and speaks the Men's tongue.
The quotes I posted are the only ones I have so far and they are scattered into three different times.
The first two I posted I am going to change because it is not the way the Gargoyles speak anyways, so I am going to change it to normal english.
The last three were all in one saying, "________________" said Oining. "_________".
That is how the three lines were spoken.
So the reader is planned to only read about four quotes from Gargoyles.
March 11th, 2005, 05:39 AM
Too confusing? no.
Annoying? Probably if over-used.
I prefer what you did to words like heav and bene, you can still (quickly) work out what is going on.
March 11th, 2005, 06:00 AM
I recommend checking out the "Redwall" books by Brian Jacques. Many of his characters (particularly the moles) speak in their own dialect. It added depth to the story yet was not so intrusive as to ruin the story. He struck a very fine balance, which ultimately worked very well.
March 11th, 2005, 07:59 AM
Is that language, or is that an accent in your book?
An author told me that, if you are going to do that, you have to be profesional. What you have to try and do is make the accent WITHOUT spelling words wrong. It's a little too confusing. Anything that stops the rythm of the story is not something you want to include.
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