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Ioden

A Yason Story (P1)

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Hello all, I'm very new here and can see this site is more for discussing already written books and genres, but a friend suggested I come here as some people may be able to give me advice on my own writing.

Currently I'm stuck at that situation where I know the entire story, but getting it down physically is the issue, as well as how to present it and a lot of other important factors.

The story is fantasy and set in the fictional world of Efferia where a race called the Yason live. The best way to describe them as they are half elf and half dragon but the important thing to remember is they are NOT related to either, neither of those things exist in Efferia.

Yason appear at first glance to be youthful, almost frail humanoid beings. The features of a Yason are delicate and finely chiseled. Yason have very pale complexions and tend to be slim, almost fragile, yet they possess hidden strength and stamina, as well as a strong willpower. As a Yason ages, a set of horns start to sprout from their skulls, growing longer over time. These horns can range in colour and texture, dependant on the family. Like a tree trunk, these horns have growth rings within, and so it is possible to determine the Yason's age. Damage to a Yason's horn, however, is a grave offence that isn't taken lightly.

The hair of the Yason has a silky texture to it and the colours range from any natural coloring, reds, blacks, blondes and browns, but also including unnatural colors such as silver and gold. They have been known to wear their hair in many styles, and it is often groomed and washed and never looks messy or scruffy.

They see well during the day and have color vision, their eyes having a vertical, cat-like pupil which also gives them excellent night vision. Their ears are elongated and sometimes curled, and are very sensitive to sound which allows the Yasonari to pick up noises a great distance away.

Yason skin is as smooth as marble and have long thin tails which grow over time. These tails usually end in a boney tip of various shapes and sizes and can be used as a defensive weapon if desperate. Yason fingernails are tough and can be sharp, though grow to manageable lengths. Their feet have only three foreward facing toes and a heel toe, and has a nail on its toe akin to the blade of a knife. This is used in combat to inflict wounds on opponents by kicking.

Empathy
Yason have a natural empathic ability that gradually gets better as they age. They are able to tell certain emotions and feelings of others, as well as sense bonds and even if a creature is pregnant.

One of the main themes in the story is based around a group of Yason who are dedicated and trained in fighting the Yason's immortal enemies (not yet named), who are corrupted Yason, which simply put act and look like demons, having gained mutations and exceptional powers because of their corruption.

The group of Yason themselves battle these 'demons' through the use of a fighting style which uses a specific weapon linked spiritually to them, and upon combining the Yason's blood with the weapon, can activate the weapon's elemental property of either fire, water, earth, air, light, dark, or lightning. Also to be noted, there is only one living element at any given time, so only one Yason in the entire race is able to use fire until he or she no longer exists. Typical weapons are mainly katana.

The other underlining story is based on the protagonist (Ren) who is the princess of the Kingdom, and also the wielder of the water/ice element weapon. Her motives is stopping a rather powerful 'demon' which injured a close friend of hers, but also has to contend with the fact that in order to secure peace with another kingdom, she is arranged to wed a stranger, whom of course she isn't too pleased with (and who would be?)

This complicates things even more when another stranger (Akio) appears on the scene and saves her, except this particular Yason shows signs of being corrupted, but for the most part is genuinly a good character.

There are a few antagonists throughout the story. One of them is a large, highly mutated 'demon' who leads most of the other corrupted and is intent on destroying both kingdoms. The second is a less mutated corrupted who is in the same situation as Akio, but has given into the evil nature of the corruption.

Along the way a misunderstanding causes the second kingdom to declare war on the first, making it a race against the clock as the prospect of war is a very real threat. The second kingdom does not practice the fighting technique of the elemental weapons mind you, but are more based on channeling the power through themselves and train many 'mages'. Leading this army, is Akio's brother Ryujin, the same Yason in which Ren was betrothed to.

In between there's a lot of serious as well as humorous moments, and some damn good fighting, but overal that's the jist of it.

Problems
My main problems are, I am terrible at describing cities and towns and more mundane things, and also am unsure of the exact time era in which the world is set in. I also do not want it to be a copy of the Bleach anime, this is not a fan fiction. Yet I do personally like the japanese style of things since their names are all japanese, and I apreciate the whole concept of honor and beauty that the theme can bring to the story. I myself am totally clueless on the genre though, and don't want to make sterotypes or unecissarily offend anyone by writing about a subject I plainly have no knowledge in. To resolve this, I also considered making the era modern day, with real cities etc, but that then ruins the whole kingdom idea as I still wanted a more medieval-fantasy touch to it. I also am unsure from what point of view I should write from, Ren's point of view, more of a narritive one etc.

Can't fit it all in one Blog so with do a continuation.

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Comments

  1. N. E. White's Avatar
    Welcome, Ioden!

    I was about to ban you as a spammer, because you posted so much so quickly (sure sign of a bot). But I see you are just new and searching.

    Check out the Writing Forum. By all means, still post here, but you might get more interaction on the Writing Forum. But don't inundate folks with too much so quickly. Everyone has their own projects pulling at our time.

    Also, check out this thread for writing advice.

    There are lots of other threads you can peruse to get some specific advice. Try using the search function at the top of the page.

    I'll read through your other posts when I get time tomorrow.

    Happy reading and glad to see you here.
  2. Ioden's Avatar
    Yes much apologies about that, I did spend a few minutes looking through all the forums trying to find the correct place to post. I guess the 'Official Author' forums put me off because I am in no means an offical writer, so didn't want to intrude there and instead just make my mark in my own blog where hopefully it wouldn't clutter the rest of the site.

    Thanks again for the warm welcome (and not banning me) and will indeed look to where you've directed me.